Sweet Child o' Mine
by LifeIsTooQuick
Summary: Roger and Mimi have to deal with some shocking news just as Roger receives an unexpected surprise from his past. RDMM PostRent Past RDAE
1. Chance Meeting

Ok. So here's my new story. This one's not going to be a thriller like the last one (sorry) it's going to be a more family-drama, but hopefully it'll be good. :)

Thanx to my beta-reader, Steph. Without whom Mimi would be having a Mad of Honor instead of a Maid of Honor at her wedding. :p

Disclaimer: I still don't own Rent. :( And unless the tour schedule changes, it looks like I won't even be owning tickets to see Rent this year. :(( le sigh

Enjoy. :)

* * *

"So, Mark is going to be the best man, obviously, And you want Maureen, Joanne, and Jodie to be bridesmaids. But who are you going to have as the maid of honor?" 

Roger was sitting at the metal table, scribbling wedding plans down in a notebook. He and Mimi had been engaged for two and a half months and didn't have anything planned, so the two sat down and decided they were going to get something official by the end of the day. Only, Mimi wasn't paying attention. At all. She was sitting on the window seat, staring off into space.

Roger was slightly worried about her. The thing with Todd had happened over two weeks ago. Roger didn't think that was enough time to get over something so traumatizing, but then again, it was Mimi. Traumatizing things seemed to happen on a regular basis throughout her life. But she had insisted she was fine and had no problems jumping back into being the perky, lovable Mimi he had always known. Except recently. Over the past few days she had become withdrawn. She didn't talk or socialize like normal and she was constantly having moments where she would just completely zone out and not pay any attention at all to her surroundings. Like now.

"Mimi? Are you listening?" he asked her for lack of a better way to bring her back to Earth. He already knew she wasn't listening to him. It was obvious.

"Huh?" she asked, her head snapping up from the spot on the window where she had been tracing invisible shapes with her finger. Roger sighed.

"Mimi, are you ok? You've been a little out of it the past few days."

"I'm fine. Just a little tired."

"You're always tired, too. Are you ok? Did something happened when you hit your head?"

"Roger, I'm fine," Mimi said, slightly exasperated. Roger had gotten incredibly over-protective the past few weeks. He kept thinking there was something wrong with Mimi, but there wasn't. It was just a bump on the head and it had mostly healed by now. She would definitely have a scar, but once the bandage came off she would be fine. As for mentally, she had been through worse. Two weeks ago was practically a walk in the park compared to everything else.

"Then why do you keep acting like this?"

"Like what?" Damn. He had noticed. Mimi had been thinking way too much lately. And it was probably all for nothing. She was probably just over-reacting.

"Like just now. Every time someone talks to you, you stare off and act like they aren't even there."

"Awww, are you feeling neglected?" she asked playfully.

"No, just worried."

She got up from her spot by the window and walked over to the table to sit in his lap.

"I'm fine. I've just got a lot on my mind."

"Like..?"

"Like the fact that we're engaged and getting married," she said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Then why is it when I finally sit down with you to plan it out your mind disappears?"  
Mimi didn't have an answer to that, so she stayed quiet. Truth be told, she was _not_ thinking about the wedding. He had caught her. Of course. She had to get out of the apartment before he pushed her further and she told him her fear. She probably wasn't even right anyway and was just making a big deal over nothing.

"I forgot," she said, jumping up and heading to grab her coat, "I have to go get something from the store."

"What?" Roger asked her, wary. He had the feeling she was avoiding him. He didn't like the feeling. Had he done something wrong?

"Girl stuff." There. That will stop him from pestering her about it. And it wasn't exactly a lie.

"Ok. Hurry back, everyone's coming over for dinner tonight. Jodie wanted to try out some new recipe she found in one of her mom's magazines."

Shit. Mimi did not want all of her friends over when she finally decided to discuss this with Roger. They could always talk later.

"Ok. Bye. I love you."

"Love you too." Roger stared after her before closing the notebook and setting it on the counter. Something was up with Mimi, and when she came back he was going to talk to her about it.

* * *

Mimi wondered around nervously thinking. It wasn't dark out yet, so she wasn't worried about walking aimlessly through the streets of New York without concentrating. She had been walking for a while before she realized her feet had carried her to a day care center. Perfect. Now she _had_ to face it. 

Was she pregnant? She couldn't be. She was on the pill. Which works 97 of the time… But still. She thought over the past few weeks. She had missed her period and was feeling nauseous in the morning, but she assumed that was post-traumatic stress. But then she thought back to before then. The week before she had been sick every morning. But that was just stress, wasn't it? **(A/N: Heehee, am I sneaky or what:p) **Then she tried to remember if she had had her period last month. She couldn't remember. She had had way too much else on her mind.

She was probably blowing this all out of proportion. There was no way she could be pregnant. And if she was, what would she do? She had HIV, most likely the baby would too. Would she do that to her child? But, then again, wouldn't it be better to give the kid a chance at least instead of killing it right off the bat? And how would Roger react? Mimi was sure he would make a great father if he tried, but he was always so pessimistic about the disease, would he want them to take a chance?

"Here to pick up your kid?" a voice asked, pulling Mimi out of her reverie. She hadn't even noticed that, while thinking, she had been staring into the day care center, watching the little kids run around playing.

Mimi turned to the person who had spoken and saw a woman with red hair standing next to her, looking as if she had been watching the children play as well.

"No, I don't have any kids. Just thinking. I kind of wasn't paying attention." Great. Now this woman thought Mimi was some freaky kidnapper or something. "I might be having one, though." She added, not entirely sure why she said that. "You?"

"I don't have any kids. I'm here to pick up my nephew."

"Oh."

The woman stood there for a little longer, still staring into the day care center. She looked miserable. Like she wanted to be anywhere but here at the moment and hated anything and everything around her life. Mimi had been _there_ before. She wanted to ask the woman what was wrong, but she got distracted by watching the kids. For real this time. There were two little girls sitting on one of the mats dressing up some Barbie dolls; some boys were chasing each other around the little indoor jungle gym; one little girl was struggling to get away from one of the workers, who was trying to get her hair up into a pony tail; and one little boy was sitting in a corner by himself, looking at a book. Mimi wanted one. She knew that seemed very childish and made it seem like she regarded kids as pets, but she couldn't help it. She wanted one. She wanted a kid. And she didn't care what anyone else said, she was keeping this baby.

"Hello, Mrs. Davis," another cheerful voice said behind her, making her jump. Mimi turned to see Jodie walking down the street, laden with shopping bags and accompanied by Tricia, her teenage sister who, likewise, had shopping bags. Tricia was the one who had addressed Mimi as "Mrs. Davis".

"Hey, Tricia. And it's not 'Mrs. Davis'. Not yet, anyway."

"Oh, so you're going to make Roger take your last name? 'Roger Marquez.' Ok, now_that_ sounds weird." Mimi couldn't help but laugh. Tricia had that quality of being able to make feel better no matter what kind of a mood you were in, and usually without the knowledge of what she had done.

"Yeah, it does. Ok, so I'll take his last name. But what I meant was we're not married yet."  
"So? You live together and do pretty much everything else together, as far as I'm concerned, you're married. You just don't have a piece of paper telling you so." She was also very concise, but with that meant she had one hell of a mouth on her and so she spent most of her time grounded. Which was why she knew the tenants of her building so well.

"Ok, Tricia. Whatever you say. So, what's with all the shopping bags?"

"Can you believe Jodie needs all this shit to make whatever the hell she's making for dinner?"  
"Tricia!" Jodie scolded her. See? "You're lucky Mom and Emil didn't hear you speaking like that or you would have another week." Tricia made a face, but stayed quiet.

"So, what are you doing out here?" Jodie continued to Mimi.  
"Oh, I have to stop by the drug store for something."

"We'll come along. It's on the way back to the loft."  
"No, you guys don't have to, that's fine."

"Why? Are you hiding something from us?" Tricia was also very paranoid, she always thought some conspiracy was up. Then she gasped. "Are you pregnant?"

"Tricia! You know, I don't _have_ to take you with me everywhere. I choose to because you are my sister and I love you. But if you don't learn when to talk and when not to I can change that." Jodie and Tricia both stared each other down and Mimi couldn't help but laughs lightly. You could definitely tell the two were related. They held the exact same stance as they stared at each other, right down to their facial expressions.

"Ok, let's go." Mimi said, walking past them and grabbing their arms to make them move. Hopefully the pregnancy topic wouldn't come up again. "See you," she said, turning to say good-bye to the woman who was still standing outside the day care center. She had a peculiar look on her face, like she was thinking about something and didn't take any notice of Mimi leaving.

"We'll wait outside," Jodie said and Mimi headed into the drug store to buy a pregnancy test. She knew it was paranoia, but she swore the lady standing behind the counter was glaring at her. Another slut come into her store to find out if she had messed up.

"So, what did you buy?" Tricia asked immediately after Mimi left the store.

"Nothing. Just girl stuff."

"I'm a girl."

"Well, it's nothing you have to worry about."

They walked home and Jodie stared at Mimi the whole time that made Mimi think she knew. Paranoia again.

"Tricia, go help Mom out with Lizzie and Preston. I'll come down when dinner's ready." Tricia looked like she wanted to protest being sent away, but then thought better of it. Getting close to the end of a one month grounding tends to make you judge your situations more. She passed her bags to Mimi and then went inside.

"So, are you?" Jodie asked when they got right outside Mimi's apartment.  
"Am I… what?" Mimi asked, trying to play dumb. Damn. So she did know. Jodie was way to observant.

"Pregnant. I saw you're face when Tricia mentioned it and then you stopped by a drug store on the way here. And you haven't been paying attention to anyone for, like, three days. And Roger said you've been sick in the mornings. I went through this three times with my mom."

"I don't know. I might be."  
"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," She lied. She wanted to see Roger's reaction first. It wasn't going to affect her own decision, but she wanted to know what he thought without her own opinion being thrown in. "I guess I'll just have to talk to Roger about it."

"How do you think he'll take it?"

"I have no idea. I'm really scared." That part wasn't a lie. What if Roger got angry? What if he hated her for this? Even as she thought it Mimi knew that was ridiculous. It was impossible to make Roger hate her.

"Well, I guess we're going to have to go see," Jodie said and she turned to enter the loft.

* * *

Carla sat on the subway in a daze. Had those girls been talking about Roger Davis? It sounded like they had. But it probably wasn't even the same one. But what if it was? That made Carla angry. Here he was, living in New York City about to get married to some Mexican whore he had knocked up. 

Carla immediately felt guilty for thinking that. It wasn't the girl's fault. She probably didn't even know. And she had seemed very nice. No, Carla was mad at Roger. But… Now that she knew he lived here. Now that she knew where he lived… She could finally get rid of the problem that had been haunting her for three years.

* * *

So there was chapter one. I hope you enjoyed it and I'll try to get chapter two up soon. 


	2. Positive

Hello all. Here's chapter two. It's some fluffy drama.

Thanx to Steph again.

Enjoy. :)

* * *

"Hey," Roger said, getting up from his spot on the couch and immediately wrapping his arms around Mimi's waist. "Did you get what you needed?" 

"Yeah," Mimi said, moving the bag so it was behind her back. "I ran into Jodie and Tricia along the way. What the hell does Jodie need all that food to make?"

"I have no idea," Roger said, laughing slightly. But he wasn't going to let Mimi distract him that easily. They were going to talk. And soon. "I want to talk to you"

"I want to talk to you too," Mimi said, discreetly dropping her bag into one of Jodie's now empty grocery bags, "But can we wait until everybody leaves?"

"Sure." He wouldn't forget.

* * *

Mimi leaned her head against Roger's arm and closed her eyes. She was tired. Jodie had made so much food and she had eaten too much. It had made her sleepy. She was currently sitting on the couch, leaning against Roger who was playing with her hair. Collins sat on the other side engaged in a conversation with Jodie about the pros and cons of a dictatorship. (They always got into the weirdest conversations. ) Maureen and Joanne were curled up on the chair together, flirting with each other and Mark was sitting in the other chair, waiting for Jodie to be finished with Collins so he could take his own love into his arms and snuggle. Roger couldn't help but smile as he watched his friend. He always got such a loving look in his eyes when he looked at Jodie.

"Well, the children are gone," Collins said once he and Jodie had finished (They failed to notice Jacquelyn and Emil leave with the younger guests during their discussion.) "Time to break out the alcohol."

He began pouring out different amounts of liquor into glasses and passing it around. He gave Mimi an odd look when she politely refused. Alcohol would be a bad idea if she was pregnant. Roger gave her an odd look as well. She hardly ever turned down alcohol. He wondered for the fiftieth time that day what was up.

"So Jodie, when are you moving in?" Collins finally asked, "You're the best cook we've had here… Well, ever actually." Jodie laughed.

"I don't think you guys could take me.

"Why not? You would just be moving into my room. And we have a spare room if you want space." Mark asked, joining in. They often got into this discussion with Jodie. They all knew she would never go for it. Who wanted to live with their boyfriend one floor above their parents and younger siblings? That would be a nightmare. Likewise, though, Mark didn't want to move out of the loft and into Jodie's place (Even though he spent so much time there as it is.) The loft just felt too much like home to him and he really didn't want to leave it.

"Yeah, right. Add my junk to all of your guys' junk? It would never fit. And like you guys could ever manage to clean out that spare room. You've been working on it for Collins for years."

"Hey, I don't mind sleeping in the niche," Collins said, "All I need is that sheet to block me off from the accursed sunlight of the morning and I am good." They all laughed and let the subject drop.

A little while later Collins got up to get one of the brownies Jodie had baked for desert. He couldn't help but notice something left in one of the bags. He walked over to it and pulled whatever it was out. Then he gasped and dropped it. His gasp alerted the ears of Maureen and her attention immediately snapped over to him.

"What's up, Collins? No brownies left?" she teased.

"It's nothing," he said quickly, trying to hide the box out of sight. But Maureen was not letting him get away that easily. She jumped up and ran over to him pulling the box out of his hand before he had a chance to hide it. Everybody sat up, breaking out of their sleepy states and interested in what Collins had found. Mimi's eyes widened in shock as she realized what it must be.

"Oh my God!" Maureen shouted, "Who's pregnant?"

Everyone's shocked eyes immediately switched between Mimi and Jodie. They were, after all, the only eligible candidates in the room. Suddenly Mimi's trance-like state over the past few days made more sense to Roger.

"Mimi?" he asked nervously. Mimi sat still for a few moments before jumping up and practically running over to Maureen.

"Ok, so it's mine! I bought it earlier."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Roger asked, shocked.

"Because, what if I wasn't? Then I would've caused all this for nothing."  
"Well, are you?"  
"I don't know. I didn't take the test yet."

Maureen motioned to the bathroom, slightly numb with shock, but still eager to know if Mimi was pregnant or not.

Mimi made a derisive noise and stalked off to the bathroom. She came out a few minutes later and went immediately to the timer on the stove.  
"We have to wait 15 minutes," she said, explaining to the guys who were confused by her actions.

Then she stood there, leaning against the stove, thinking. She wanted to know what Roger would think about this _before_ he was committed to having a baby. She didn't want him to act all happy about it just because there was no turning back. So she walked across the room and grabbed his arm, pulling him toward the bedroom.

"I want to talk to you-_alone_," she said simply, pulling Roger out of his trance. She walked into the bedroom, flipped on the light and shut the door behind Roger. Then she turned to him and stared, waiting.

"What?" Roger finally asked. Mimi groaned.

"Are you serious? 'What'?! That's all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say?" Roger asked, his voice raising slightly in defense.

"I don't know! Something! Anything! Like what are we going to do?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do"  
"Oh, no. You are not pinning this whole thing on me. If I'm pregnant this baby is yours too and you have just as much a part in the decision making as I do."  
Roger just stood there, staring at her. He had no idea what the hell he wanted to do. Besides, wasn't this Mimi's decision? It is her body after all.

"Well?" Mimi finally asked, getting annoyed.

"I'm thinking!" he shot back, "I don't know." he finally muttered in defeat. "What would be the right thing to do? Mimi, we might have killed this kid." He walked over and sat on the bed, putting his head in his hands.

Mimi walked over and sat down next to him.

"It's possible. But it's also possible that the baby not get HIV. There's always a possibility."

"That's true… But what if it does?"  
"We could deal with that when it happens."  
"And what about us. Mimi, we're not going to live to see this kid grow up. Are we just going to leave this child to grow up alone in an orphanage or on the streets?"  
"Roger, do you really think our friends would just let our child live on the streets or in an orphanage?"

"No." He had to admit their friends were better than that.

"Think of it this way: Have you ever imagined yourself s a father? Before the HIV and everything. Did you ever want a kid?" She wrapped her arms around his and leaned her head on his shoulder.

Roger thought about that. He always hated his parents and had always made that wishful promise that he would never treat his own children that way. But had he ever actually planned on having a kid? One day, probably, but not after the HIV and the drugs and all the shit he went through. Now a kid would seem like an impossibility. But it wasn't. It was possible that he and Mimi were having a baby. So what should he do? He looked at Mimi and couldn't think of a better mother for his child. When he really thought about it he had to admit, he was happy. He really did want a kid.

"Yeah," he finally said quietly. Mimi shot up and looked at him.

"What?"

"Yeah. Yes. I did want a kid. I still do, actually."  
"So, you want to keep it?"

"Yeah, I do." Mimi squealed and threw herself into Roger's arms. She was so happy. Just knowing Roger would see this through with her, even if it was a false alarm, just made her love him even more.

The two walked out of their room hand in hand and smiling slightly. Everyone was sitting around, talking, but they knew they had all been listening at the door only seconds earlier.

"You guys have two minutes left," Maureen informer them as they sat down. Mimi couldn't sit still. She kept jiggling her foot and bouncing up and down. Roger gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and smiled at her. She smiled weakly back and then gave a jump as the timer went off.

Everyone jumped up and went followed Mimi into the kitchen area. Mimi stood still, holding the pregnancy test in her hand, not looking at it.

"I can't look," she said finally, "Someone else do it."

"Mimi, it's _your_ test," Jodie said, exasperatedly, "_You_ should look at it."

"But I can't."  
"Oh, for Christ's sake! I'll look at it!" Maureen exclaimed jumping forward, but Mimi jerked her hand out of the way.

"No, I'll look." Maureen rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, giving Mimi an impatient look.

Mimi looked at the test and froze, staring at it.

"It's positive," she said, her voice shaking slightly. Then she turned to Roger. "We're having a baby."

"We're having a baby?" Roger asked her, still numb from shock.

Mimi was unable to speak, so she just nodded.

"We're having a baby?" Roger repeated, still trying to take it in.

"Yeah," Mimi said breathlessly, nodding again.

"Oh my God… Mimi, we're having a baby!" Roger finally shouted and he pulled Mimi into a spinning hug before kissing her.

"I know," she said faintly once he had released her.

"Oh my God! Mimi! We have so much to do! We have to schedule doctor appointments and we have to buy a crib and other things for the baby. We should clean out the spare room sot he baby has somewhere to sleep…"

"Roger, Roger. Calm down," Mimi said, grabbing his shoulders, "We have a few months, ok? We'll be fine."

"Ok. God, I can't believe we're having a baby," he said, wrapping his arms around Mimi's waist.

"I know," she said. It was more than she had ever hoped for.

* * *

There we go. The whole pregnancy thing is now found out. Next chapter will start the actual plot (At the very end in the form of a nasty little cliff hanger, but you'll get over it. :p) 


	3. A Small Surprise

_I'm so so so sorry for the delay. There were some difficulties with the beta-reading thing. First I sent her an email without the chapter and then she took a while getting it back (no surprise, what with homework and everything.)and I've had trouble getting onto the computer.Anyway, it's up now. And this is better anyways because it gave me more time to write the next chapter, so it'll be up sooner and since this one ends sort of cliff hanger-y, you'll be thankful for that. :p_

_Also, further into this story there is a reference to my other story "Did I Ever Tell You". You don't have to read it to get this story, but you do to fully understand Mimi's worries and to know that I won't be elaborating on that part, because technically already have. :p_

_Once again, thanx to my awesome beta-reader, Steph. And I'm really sorry about the difficulties._

_And for the first time I'm dedicating this chapter to someone. I dedicate this to my friend, Kaitlyn, who never has her name spelled correctly in ANYTHING. :p_

_Enjoy. :)_

* * *

Jodie's step-father Emil was an obstetrician at the hospital nearest them. This made Mimi happy because she felt more comfortable with a doctor she knew taking care of her baby. Everything in the loft had gotten hectic as they all started making plans for the impending new arrival. Maureen was constantly bombarding Mimi with decorating ideas for the baby's room, but since they didn't know the baby's gender she couldn't come up with anything extra special. 

"Should we find out what the baby's gender is?" Mimi asked as she and Roger sat in a check-up room, waiting for her first prenatal check-up.

"Um… I don't think they can check that this early," Roger said, looking at some diagrams on the wall of the different stages of pregnancy. "You know, I am so glad I'm not a girl. This pregnancy stuff looks tough."  
"And don't you forget it," she said, lightly smacking him on top of the head. "Anyway, I knew that already. I meant when it _is_ possible for them to tell, should we find out? Or should we let it be a surprise?"

"A surprise? Mimi, isn't it always going to be a boy or a girl? I mean, there's a 50/50 shot, where's the surprise?" **(A/N: Thank you, Gary Gulman. :p)** Mimi laughed and swatted his arm playfully.

"You know what I mean. So, should we or shouldn't we?"

"I don't know. It would make the whole naming thing go by a lot easier. We would have time before the baby's born to think of one. And it would be easier to decorate the room, since we wouldn't have to make in uni-sex. I guess we'll just decide when it's actually possible."

"Ok. You know Maureen is going to bug us to find out the whole time, though, right?"  
"Ugh. Maybe we should just find out." Mimi laughed and then became silent again.

"Do you want it to be a boy or a girl?"

"I want it to be healthy," Roger said.

"Oh, come on. That's such a generic response. Of course you want it to be healthy. But sex-wise, do you want a boy or a girl?"

"Hmmm. I don't know. A boy would be nice, because then I could do all that father-son guy stuff with him. But I want a girl too. Can't we have two kids?" he asked jokingly.

"No. One is enough. I didn't even think we were going to get one, so I consider this a blessing."  
"Yeah. Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

"Yeah…"

The door opened then and Emil came in, carrying a clipboard and a paper folder marked "Mimi Marquez".

"Hello Ms. Davis," he said, sitting down.

"Hi, Emil," Mimi said, breaking the formal atmosphere and making Roger laugh. Emil gave her a smalls mile before looking at the notes he had.

"So, you just found out you're pregnant?"

"Yes. We discussed this yesterday, remember?"

"Yes, but I still have to ask you and act like I don't know you so I can fill out all the paperwork correctly. It would be bad if I missed something because we had already talked about it, but wasn't in this office so it didn't get written down."

"Ok. Fire away." She wasn't exactly up for 20 questions, but she wanted to make sure everything went as smoothly as was possible.

Over the next hour Mimi had an entire physical done that she thought she had escaped after leaving high school. **(A/N: I have no idea what happens in pre-natal check-ups, so I'm just going to leave that very vague and with no details.)**

"Ok." Emil finally said, writing down Mimi's blood pressure before closing the folder, "The baby seems perfectly healthy. It wasn't affected at all by what happened a few weeks ago. I'm giving you a prescription for some pre-natal vitamins and you'll have to double your AZT intake. I'm also scheduling you for an ultrasound tomorrow so we can see how the baby is doing and find out how far along you are."

"Ok… Um… What are the odds of the baby getting HIV?" Mimi asked in a small voice.

"Well, the odds are about 25. But we can decrease the risk by increasing your AZT intake and when the birth comes by having a caesarian section. You also shouldn't breast feed the baby once its born."

"Ok," Mimi said, feeling slightly more hopeful. 25 was pretty good. There was only a one in four shot, and if they did all the stuff Emil said they could decrease the risk to even lower. Mimi stood up and took Roger's hand, smiling slightly and headed for the door.

"Wait!" Emil called, "One more thing."  
"What?" Mimi asked warily. She was getting sick of tests.

"Do you want to hear the baby's heartbeat?"

"You can do that this early?" Roger asked.

"It's possible. For some pregnancies you can hear the heartbeat as early as nine weeks, so if Mimi's at least that far along it is possible. It's worth a shot at any rate. It doesn't take long."

"Ok," Mimi said, getting back up on the table.

"You'll need to lie down and lift your shirt up so I can see your stomach." Mimi did so and he squeezed some really cold jelly onto her stomach that made her jump. Then he pulled out what looked like a stethoscope attached to a small machine. He put the stethoscope into his ears and pressed the tip of the machine part to Mimi's stomach, moving it around and stopping to listen. He smiled slightly and took the stethoscope off his ears, passing it to Mimi.

Mimi put the stethoscope on while Emil held the machine to the right spot on her stomach. She heard a very small, very fast heartbeat. She smiled. This was actually happening. She was actually having a baby. She had never been more excited in her life. She passed the stethoscope to Roger and watched him smiling as his eyes lit up when he heard the baby's heartbeat. After a few seconds, Roger handed it back to Emil.

"Wow… There's actually a baby in there," he said, indicating Mimi's stomach. Mimi laughed.

"Yep," she said, getting off the table.

"So, you have to be back here tomorrow for your ultra sound. Be sure to drink plenty of water before you go," Emil said, giving them a piece of paper with the time and location written down on it.

"Thank you," Mimi said, still smiling. She took Roger's hand and the two walked out down the hall toward the exit. Along the way they ran into Dr. Cullen.

"Hello, Mimi, Roger. How are you two doing?" he asked politely.

"Very well, thank you," Mimi said. She was about to move on, but she stopped, "Wait, Dr. Cullen."  
"Yes?"

"When Roger and I were here a few weeks ago, why didn't you tell me I was pregnant?"

"I thought you already knew."  
"Well, if I already knew then don't you think I would want to know how the baby was." Dr. Cullen stared at her like she was crazy.

"I told you it was fine."

"What? No, you didn't. If you did I would've freaked out about finding out I was pregnant."

"No, I remember. I said 'Miraculously, you're both doing fine. There are no problems whatsoever.' And you said 'Thank God.' I assumed that meant you knew about the baby." Mimi smacked herself in the forehead.

"I thought you meant me and Roger were both doing fine when you said that!"

"Oh," he said laughing, "Well, I didn't. Sorry for the confusion. But you know now, so that's good."

"Yeah. Well, thank you."

"No problem. You two have a nice day."

"Thanks. You too." He walked away and Mimi turned to glare at Roger who was now laughing at her.

"Shut-up," she said and she turned around to head out of the hospital.

* * *

"I'm going to die. When do we go in?" Mimi asked, bouncing around in her seat.

"In about six minutes. Now stop fidgeting, you'll only make it worse," Roger said, placing his hand on her thigh and trying to comfort her.

"You're not the one with fifty gallons of water in their bladder," Mimi protested.

"Be quiet and drink you water," Roger said teasingly.

"Oh, yeah! That'll help!" **(A/N: Has anyone ever been in for an ultrasound? It sucks. You have to drink at least a bottle and a half of water half an hour before the ultrasound and it gets tot eh point where you have to pee so badly it's painful. It sucks. :p)**

"Mimi Marquez," said a pretty blond with curly hair standing by the door and holding a clipboard.

"Finally!" Mimi exclaimed, jumping up and practically running to the door. Roger got up and followed her, smiling.

"Hi, I'm Kaitlyn. I'll be giving you your ultra sound."

"Can we please get this over with?" Mimi asked, wincing slightly. She felt slightly guilty. Kaitlyn seemed very nice and Mimi knew, under different circumstances, that she would like her. But right now she just wanted to go to the damn bathroom and everything annoyed her.

"Yeah, I sympathize. I have twins of my own. If you think the ultra sounds suck, wait until you actually have the baby. Follow me." She gestured down the hall and led them into a small room with a, examine table in it and some monitors. "Lie down on the table, please."

Mimi hopped up onto the table and laid down, pulling her shirt up to expose her stomach. She took Roger's hand when he walked around to the other side of the table and smiled at him nervously.

"Ok, I'm going to put this jelly on your stomach It's going to feel a little cold."

"Jesus Christ! A little?!" Mimi exclaimed, jumping slightly as Kaitlyn rubbed the jelly on. Kaitlyn laughed.

"Well, if I told you the truth, you wouldn't have let me put it on."

She picked up the ultra sound thing **(A/N: Does anyone know what the hell that thing is called? lol I looked it up and I couldn't find anything. :p)** and rubbed it on Mimi's belly, looking at the screen. Finally she seemed satisfied with the picture she had and she held the ultra sound in place and pushed a button on the machine to make the picture freeze. She studied it for a little while before turning the screen so Roger and Mimi could see.

"It looks like the baby is about ten weeks along. So you can see the head, and the fingers and toes have started to separate, so you can tell the baby's going to be a human instead of a sea horse, which is what it looks like for the first six weeks or so."

"Aww, we missed the sea horse phase?" Roger asked jokingly and Mimi whacked him.

"That's our baby?" Mimi asked.

"Yep."  
"Awww. Roger, look. That's our baby."  
"I know, I heard," he said, but his sarcasm was lost in the wonder in his voice as he looked at the picture.

"Would you like me to print you out a copy?" Kaitlyn asked after they had stared at the screen for a few minutes.

"We can do that?" Mimi asked excitedly. She wanted to show off her baby to their friends.

"Mhm."**(A/N: lol, Kaitlyn.)**

"Ok."

Kaitlyn pushed a few more buttons and a picture of the sonogram printed out. She handed it to Mimi and Mimi stared at it.

"Can we go now?" she asked. "I can't wait to show the others."

"First I need to give you the results of your sonogram. You can go to the bathroom while I get those."

"Ok, good," Mimi said, handing the sonogram to Roger and practically flying off the table.

* * *

A few minutes later Roger and Mimi were sitting in Emil's office, waiting for him to come back with the results from the sonogram.

"Ok," he said, walking into the room while reading some papers, "You're baby is definitely in perfect health. We couldn't hope for things to be better right now. Your baby is about ten weeks along, the projected due date is November 8. Any questions?"

"No, that's fine," Mimi said, standing up. She did in fact have another question for Emil, but she would rather ask him alone then with Roger in the room.

"OK, then. I'll talk to you two later."  
"Thanks," Roger said, shaking his hand. "Ok, Mimi, let's go get something to eat. I'm starving."  
"I'm meeting Jodie and the girls at the Life for lunch if you want to join me."  
"Ok, that sounds like fun," Mimi said, slipping her coat on. The Life Café was a favorite of the Abramoviches/Carsons because Jodie and Tricia were vegetarians and, since Lizzie looked up to them and mimicked them in anyway possible, she too was a vegetarian. (Although everyone expected her to break once Summer rolled around and she realized she wouldn't be able to eat her beloved hotdogs at the baseball games.)

"Mimi!" a voice shouted as they answered and Mimi was immediately ambushed by a small, eight-year-old, with dark hair in a leotard.

"Hey, Lizzie," Mimi said, "How was your dance class?" Lizzie took ballet and, under the encouragement of Mimi and Jodie, was recently enrolled in hip-hop.

"It was great. I finally learned how to spin around and around in circles non-stop without getting dizzy and falling over."

"That sounds like fun," Mimi said, following the chattering girl to the table she was sitting at with her sisters.

"Hey, guys," Tricia said, "So you're having a baby?"  
"Yep," Roger said, sitting down on a chair and pulling Mimi onto his lap.

"What are you going to name it?"  
"We don't know yet," Mimi said, "We don't even know the sex yet."  
"You should name it 'Tricia'." she said.

"Why does that not surprise me?" Roger asked jokingly. Mimi laughed.

"We'll keep it in mind," she said.

"I can't believe you guys are going to have a baby," Jodie said disbelievingly, "It's going to be so weird seeing you guys being parents. Especially Roger. He's so much of a child himself, the baby will be taking care of _him_." Everyone laughed and Roger glared at her.

Sitting with Jodie's sisters made Mimi want her baby even more. Especially when she looked at Lizzie. She was so adorable. She was at that stage where she was maturing and thought she knew everything, but still held onto her childish naivety. Mimi had never been in that stage. She went from childish naivety straight to cynical adulthood by the time she was twelve.

"We have to go," Roger said finally to Mimi, "I've got band practice."

"Is it ok if I hang out here with them for a little longer?" Mimi asked. Roger deliberated for a bit, he didn't like Mimi being outside at night alone. But then he reminded himself that she wasn't alone, she was with Jodie and her family. She should be fine.

"Ok, I'll se you later. I love you," he gave her a quick kiss and left.

They stayed at the Life a little longer, talking and eating dessert before heading home so Tricia could finish her homework. Jodie was a little ways ahead with Tricia trying to catch Lizzie who had announced she would race them to the end of the block before taking off down the street at a sprint when Mimi decided to ask Emil.

"Hey, Emil, can I ask you something about the baby?" she asked tentatively. She didn't want to ask the question on her mind. Partly because she was slightly ashamed and partly because she was afraid of the answer.

"Sure, Mimi. What do you want to know?" he asked warily. He probably thought she was going to ask another question about her HIV.

"What are the odds of miscarrying if you've had a miscarriage before?"

"Mimi, when did you have a miscarriage?" he asked, astonished. Mimi was afraid of that. She decided to just give him the quick version.

"When I was 14 I got pregnant and my step-dad beat me so bad I miscarried," she said quickly. She saw a whole range of emotions cross Emil's face ranging from pity and sadness to anger. Mimi realized he was thinking of Jodie and Tricia, his own step-daughters, and was wondering how anyone could do something like that.

"Well, Mimi. Since that was caused by… outside forces and nothing natural, you shouldn't have any problems with this baby. Besides, you're almost to the end of your first trimester and that's where the risk for miscarriage is highest."

"Really?" Mimi asked elated.

"Definitely."  
"Thank you so much." She continued walking, much happier. They reached the end of the block where Jodie, Tricia, and Lizzie all sat/lay collapsed on the side walk, breathing heavily. Emil laughed.

"Now, girls. What have we learned here?"  
"Running is bad for your health," Tricia gasped. Emil laughed. "All right, come on you two. We have to go pick up Preston from the day care center, your mother's working late tonight so she can't get him." Lizzie groaned.

"Do we have to?"

"Yes, now let's go."

"Ok, bye Mimi. Bye Jodie," the little girl said, giving them each a hug.

"See you guys," Tricia added.

Mimi and Jodie continued for home, talking about Mimi's ultrasound. Mimi showed her the picture of the baby and Jodie gushed over it for three blocks before turning onto their street and stopping.

"Mimi, who's that?" she asked, pointing at the steps in front of their apartment building. Mimi looked to see a small boy with red hair, sitting on the steps. He was wearing a Spiderman back-pack and had a suitcase next to him. He was sitting with his thumb in his mouth, looking around every few seconds and looking slightly frightened.

"I don't know. Let's go find out." Mimi walked over to the boy and stopped in front of him. "Hi. What are you doing here?" she asked, kneeling in front of the boy. He just stared at her.  
"I'm not 'upposed to tawk to stwangews," he said in a small voice before replacing the thumb in his mouth.

"Oh. Well, my name is Mimi and this is my friend, Jodie. See? Now you know us. So, what's your name?"

"Nathan." he said in another small voice, but seeming slightly braver now that he "knew" who he was talking to.

"Nathan. That's a very nice name."  
"Thank you. I wike 'Mimi' too." Mimi smiled.

"Nathan, how old are you?"

"Thwee."  
"Your three?!" she asked, shocked. Who the hell leaves a three-year-old outside in Alphabet City at night alone? The boy looked at her, seeming frightened by her outburst. "I mean, three years old? Really? You're _that_ big?" He nodded meekly, his thumb still in his mouth.

"Nathan, what are you doing here?"

"I'm waiting fow my daddy."

"Your daddy? Well, where is he?"  
"He wives hewe. I have to give him this wetter." He held up an envelope. Mimi turned to Jodie. His father couldn't possibly live there. The only other occupant aside from Jodie's family and Mimi's family was some old lady on the first floor who had about fifty million cats. **(A/N: Is it just me or does every apartment building have a crazy cat lady:p)**

"Really? Are you sure?" He nodded again. "Do you know which floor he lives on?"  
"No. I nevew met him."

"You haven't? Then why are you here?"  
"My Aunty Carla says I have to wive wif him now."

"Your Aunty Carla brought you here to live with your dad?" He nodded. "Where's your mom?"  
"She's dead." Shit. That was the wrong thing to ask about.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Where is your Aunty Carla?"  
"Home."  
"Do you know where that is?" He shook his head.

"Ok. Do you now what your daddy looks like?"

"No. I've nevew seen him befow," he said in a tone that made it clear he thought he was dealing with someone of less than average intelligence. Mimi smiled slightly before moving on.  
"Do you know his name?" Nathan shook his head again and Mimi sighed before turning to Jodie.

"What do we do? We can't just leave him here."  
"But we don't know who his father is. What if this Carla girl told him to meet Nathan here? We can't just take him away, we could get charged with kidnapping."

"But we can't just leave him out her. Do you know what sickos walk around the streets of New York City at night? He could get hurt or worse."

"Let's just sit here with him for a little while longer and see if his dad shows up."

"Ok." Mimi sat down next to Nathan and Jodie sat on the other side of Mimi.

"So Nathan, why do you live with your aunt?" Mimi asked, trying to establish some trust in the kid so he wouldn't think they were about to kidnap him or something.

"I towd you. I don't wive wif her anymow. I wive wif my daddy," he said adopting that tone again and making Mimi smile slightly.

"But I thought you said you had never met him."  
"But that's what Aunty Carla said. She said 'You wive wif youw daddy now. He wives hewe. And then she weft." What a bitch.

"And you have no idea what he looks like, or which floor he's supposed to live on or if he even really lives here?" Nathan shook his head and Mimi sighed again. What the hell were they going to do?

"Then how were you supposed to know whether it was your daddy who had come to get you?"

"He wooks wike his pictuwe."

"You have a picture?" Mimi asked disbelievingly. The little boy nodded and began digging in his back-pack.

"Well, tat makes things a little easier," Jodie said.

"Yeah, if his father ever comes by," Mimi said bitterly. She was starting to like this kid and felt bad for him. Nobody seemed to want him.

"Hewe," Nathan said, handing the photo to Mimi and she gasped. "That's my daddy and that's my mommy." He pointed to each person in the photo respectively. But Mimi didn't need him to. She knew exactly who both the people were in the photo, even though she only knew one of them through photographs and stories. But she knew the other one. She knew him very well. Roger had a lot of explaining to do when he got home.

* * *

_And with that, I leave you. Heehee. Kind of evil, huh?_


	4. Nathan Roger Ericsson

_Here's chapter four. Sorry about the wait. My beta was busy helping her community out (At least there's a good reason, after all Christmas is coming up. :))_

_I forgot last time, so I shall say now. Snaps for datagirl3, because she guessed what was coming. And half-sort-of-snaps for sundrynotes, because (s)he got that Roger has a kid, but didn't elaborate as to who the mom was._

_Once again, thanx to my beta-reader._

_Enjoy. :) _

* * *

Mimi turned to the small boy, trying to hide the anger and anxiety that had overtaken her. 

"Hey, it's getting late out. How would you like to come up to our apartment and you can wait for your daddy there?" she asked him in what she hoped was a soothing voice. Jodie shot her an odd look but Mimi shook her head slightly to stop her from making a comment.

"But I have to wait fow my daddy," the small boy said, looking around as if his father might show up any second now.

"Well, I know your daddy. So I'll let him know where you are," Jodie gave her another look and Mimi shook her head again.

"Ok," he said and he stood up, immediately taking Mimi's hand. Mimi couldn't help but smile. The child was so cute.

"Whewe do you wive?" he asked her innocently.

"Up there," she told him, pointing to the top of the building. His eyes grew huge.

"Aww the way at the top?" he looked terrified, "I don't wike heights."

"It's ok, the stairs are inside you won't fall." But he still looked scared, so Mimi bent down and picked him up to carry him.

"Jodie, could you grab his suitcase please?" she asked, turning to Jodie and indicating she had her hands full.

"Sure," Jodie said in a tone that showed she was doubting Mimi's sanity, "What are you doing?" she whispered when she was close to Mimi.

"Just trust me," Mimi whispered back and she headed inside.

When they entered the loft Mark was sitting at the metal table, going over some paperwork.

"Hey Mimi, Jodie," he said, walking around the table to kiss Jodie, "What's with the kid?"

"This is Nathan. Nathan, this is my friend Mark," Mimi said. The small boy just waved slightly at Mark and he waved back, looking confused. Mimi set Nathan down on the couch and sat down next to him, "So Nathan, what do you want to do?" He just shrugged.

"Do you have any toys with you?"  
"Thewe in my back-pack," he said and he began digging through his bag, pulling out some hot wheels, a few books, and some action figures. He slid off the couch and began playing with hot wheels and action figures, leaving the books stacked up on the couch. Mimi seemed satisfied with his distraction and walked over to the metal table where Jodie and Mark were talking in low, hushed voices.

"Mimi, what were you thinking?" Mark asked quietly as Mimi sat down, "You can't just bring a kid into the loft. We don't know him. His dad might call the cops on us for kidnapping."  
"His aunt left him on our steps alone. I couldn't just leave him out there," Mimi said defensively. She was still holding the picture Nathan had handed her and she set it on the table. "Besides, his dad won't be calling the cops on us."  
"How do you know that?" Jodie asked.

"Because his dad is going to walk through that door in about fifteen minutes."

Jodie and Mark both looked at the door.

"What?" Mark asked confused.

"Don't play stupid with me, Mark. It's bad enough you guys had to keep something like this from me for over a year. The least you could do is just tell me once I find out."

Mark stared at her blankly.

"What?" he asked again. Mimi gave an exasperated sigh and threw the picture at Mark. He caught it after fumbling for a few seconds and then stared at it.

"Where did you get this?" he asked.

"From Nathan. He showed it to me. To show me what his parents looked like." Mark's eyes doubled in size as he looked from the picture to Nathan.

"But… This is a picture of Roger and April."

"Catch on quick, don't you?" Mimi asked acidly, then she softened slightly, "Did you honestly not know about this?"

"No. I didn't. At all." He seemed slightly put-out by finding something out about his best friend that he hadn't thought to share with him. They all turned as the door slid open, but it was only Collins.

"Hello everybody, are we having a party?" he asked, noticing everyone congregated around the table. Then he stopped and stared at Nathan, "What's with the midget?" he asked jokingly.

"This is Nathan," Mimi said. She wondered if Roger had told Collins.

"Well, hello, Nathan," Collins said, kneeling in front of the boy and holding his hand out, "I'm Collins, it's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, siw," he mumbled, shaking Collins hand nervously. Collins laughed and walked over to the table. "So, what's up?" he asked again.

"You didn't know either?" Mimi asked him.

"Know what?" Collins asked, getting confused. Mimi groaned in frustration.

"Didn't he tell anybody?"

"Didn't who tell anybody about what? What the hell did I miss?" Collins asked. Mark slid the picture to Collins and Collins looked at it even more confused than he was before.

"Those are Nathan's parents," Mark said, "At least, according to him they are. Who knows if they really are."

"Why would he lie, Mark?" Mimi asked.

"I'm not saying he did. But… You didn't know April. She was a very… well, not so honest person. She might have gotten pregnant and jus told her sister Roger was the father because he was who she was dating at the time."

"Who else could be the father if she was dating Roger at the time?" Jodie asked skeptically.

"I'm just looking at this logically. That kid is three years old. That means he was conceived about four years ago and Roger and April had just started dating four years ago. She might have already been pregnant when they started dating. Or she might have cheated on him. I wouldn't put it past her," he added darkly.

"Ok, that's not fair," Collins said, "She was a great girl in the beginning. It was near the end she started to… Come a little undone. But you saw them when they first started going out. There was no way in Hell that girl would've cheated on him."

"He's Roger's," Mimi said suddenly and everyone stared at her. She had been silent during the whole conversation, watching Nathan.

"How can you tell?" Jodie asked astonished.

"Just look at him. He looks just like Roger, only smaller and younger." Now that Mimi was looking at the kid properly she couldn't believe she hadn't figured it out sooner. Aside from his hair, Nathan was a spitting image of the pictures Mark had shown Mimi of Roger when he was a kid. He had the same hands and ears; the same nose; the same complexion; and although they were a different shape, his eyes were the same deep, jade color. He was definitely Roger's kid.

"Ok. So, maybe he is. But that doesn't mean Roger knew about him," Mark said. He seemed determined to find some reason for why Roger wouldn't have told him about this.

"How is that even possible?" Jodie asked, "How do you live with someone and not notice their pregnant?"  
"Well, we obviously didn't notice," Collins said.

"Yeah, but you weren't… as _close_ as Roger was with April. I'm sure he would've noticed."

"But we still would've noticed. Maureen at the very least would've. She and April were pretty close in the beginning. And Maureen may not seem it, but she is very perceptive."  
"Then when did she have the baby?" Jodie asked incredulously.

"What about that time when she was gone," Mark pointed out, turning to Collins, "Remember? She left for, like, three months to help her mom and sister take care of her dad. We never even saw her at all the whole time she was over there. She just talked with Roger on the phone a few times."

The door slid open again and everyone turned to see Roger walking in. He set his guitar case down and then went to talk over to Mimi, but stopped noticing, like everyone else, the small addition to the loft.

"Are we baby-sitting?" he asked walking over to Mimi. She dodged his kiss, glaring at him and he gave her a confused look. "Did I do something wrong?"

She made a derisive noise, "You're joking, right?"

"No."

She made the noise again, sounding like an angry cat and then stood up, walking towards their room. "I want to talk to you. Now," she said in a deadly voice with a final edge to it. Roger shot helpless glances at his friends, searching for some hint at what he had done wrong. It must have been _bad_, because Mimi rarely got this angry with anyone, let alone Roger. But all his friends were avoiding his gaze, looking elsewhere around the room. Mimi flicked the light on and shut the door behind Roger, turning afterwards to glare at him again with her arms folded across her chest, holding an envelope in one hand. The silence was agonizing and only gave Roger more time to rack his brain, trying desperately to try and figure out what he had done.

"Do you have something you want to tell me?" Mimi finally asked. Roger just stared at her blankly. He had quite a few things he wanted to tell her, actually, but none of them involved her being angry with him, so he doubted that any of them were what she was wanting.

"Um… No." She made the angry cat noise again, walking to the other side of the room and she began to pace. "Mimi, will you please tell me what the hell I did so I can start apologizing and groveling for forgiveness?" His attempt at lightening the mood did not help, it just made Mimi angrier. Wow. Roger had _really_ fucked up this time. And he didn't even know what he had done. Finally, Mimi stopped pacing and she stood still with her eyes closed. She took a deep breath and then opened them.

"Roger. I don't care, ok. It's not that big of a deal and I'm fine with it. You loved April and I accept that. And I accept that some things happened, but that fact that you would actually keep this from me and not tell me… That hurts," she got quiet and Roger stared at her completely lost. What the hell was she talking about? What did anything have to do with April? She had been dead for almost two years now. Before he could ask, Mimi continued her small rant.

"I mean, I understand not telling me before. That's not exactly something you say on the first date. But we've been together for over a year now. We're getting married. I'm having your second child. You said you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, but you can't even bother telling me something like this?"

"Mimi, Mimi, Stop!" Roger said, throwing his hands up and wondering if he had gone crazy or had actually heard what he thought he heard. "Did you just say 'second child'?"

"Yes," Mimi said, and she looked like she was about to continue her rant, but Roger cut her off.  
"Do you mind explaining that?"

"Second like Second. How the hell am I supposed to explain that?"  
"As in, not first?"

"That's what second means, Roger."

"But I don't have a first. How can this be the second?"

"Don't act stupid with me, Roger, please."  
"I'm not acting stupid."

"Then who the hell is that kid out there?"  
"That kid?" Roger asked, pointing at the door. "Mimi, I've never seen that kid in my life." Mimi stared at him blankly for a long time.

"You haven't?"

"No."

"Then what the fuck is going on?" Mimi exclaimed.

"I don't know. What the hell made you think he's mine?"

"He has your picture."

"He, what?"  
"He has your picture. He said that you're his father. His aunt left him out there for you, saying he was supposed to live with you."

"What?" Roger couldn't believe this. He didn't have a kid. Why was a random woman leaving a kid on his doorstep? He was also slightly angry at the woman. What the hell was she thinking, leaving a little kid alone in the middle of Alphabet City at night?

"Here. His aunt left this letter for you." She held the envelope out to him and he took it, staring at it blankly. "Did you not know?"

"No," he said, faintly, shaking his head before opening the letter.

_Roger,_

_We've never met, but I'm pretty sure my sister told you about me. She talked about you non-stop, after all. You must hate me right now, but the truth is I don't care. I've hated you for the past three years, so it's time the feeling was mutual. I know April already talked to you about this and you didn't want him, but I don't care. He's your son and your responsibility. I'm sick and tired of cleaning up after my little sister's messes. It's bad enough this kid had to lose his mother, but his father won't he even act as if he exists. So he's yours now and you will be taking care of him._

_-Carla_

At the bottom of the letter she had left her phone number in case Roger needed to know anything. He stared at the letter and re-read it a few times. What the hell was she talking about? Yes, he knew who Carla was. Carla was April's older sister. April absolutely adored her. She would always say how great she was and how one day she wanted to be just like her. Carla practically took care of April while their mom was acting all psycho after her brother's death. But the Carla that wrote this letter seemed very different from the Carla April gushed about. And aside from that, Roger had never talked with April about any kid. He didn't even know she had had one. And the kid was his. He had a kid and he didn't even know it. This was way too much to deal with right now.

"I can't believe this," he said finally, knowing Mimi was watching him, waiting for a response.

"Did you seriously not know you had a kid?" Mimi asked incredulously.

"Mimi, do you honestly think I would keep something like that from you?" Mimi couldn't help but smile. Truth be told, she had pretty much been hoping for that.

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know! What the hell can I do? This lady just dropped a kid off on our doorstep and I'm supposed to take care of him? I didn't even know he existed before tonight! How the hell am I supposed to do this?"

"Roger, we're about o have a kid. How is this any different?"  
"Because that kid isn't a little baby that we'll raise from birth and learn about. He's already started to grow up and we're just strangers who have randomly been thrown into his life. We don't know anything about him. I don't even know his name."

"It's Nathan," Mimi said, interrupting him, "And I like him. He's really sweet. And what are we going to do otherwise?"

"I'm going to call Carla and ask her what her deal is."

"Ok. But can he at least stay the night? It's getting late and we don't know how far away she lives."

"Fine. But one night."

Mimi smiled and turned around to walk out into the living area. Everyone except Nathan looked up at her, wondering what had happened. She walked over to Nathan and sat down next to him.

"Nathan, I want you to meet someone," she said kindly. Roger walked over to sit next to Mimi. "This is my friend Roger. He's your dad."

Nathan stared at him, not saying anything. Mimi shot Roger a look to do something, so he took a stab at starting a conversation. But he had no idea what to say. What the hell do you talk about with a toddler? He didn't even know how old the kid was!

"Hi. I like your hot wheels."

"Thank you," he said in a small voice, "Do you wanna pway?"

"Sure." Nathan wheeled one of the cars over to Roger, but continued to stare at him. "You don't wook wike youw pictuwe."  
"Yeah, I grew my hair out."

Mimi watched the two, smiling. It was so cute to watch. And even if Roger denied it, she knew he was enjoying playing cars with Nathan. As they pushed the cars around the loft Roger started trying to talk to Nathan again, asking him about living with Carla, his likes and dislikes. Mimi was only slightly surprised to find the two had a lot in common, like their love for Spiderman (Mimi had always liked Batman more.) **(A/N: Is it just me, or does anyone else see Roger liking Spiderman?) **and their hate for spinach. **(A/N: Worst food ever created on the face of the planet. I hate Spinach so much I hated Pop-Eye because he glorified the demonic thing so much.)** After they played for a while, Nathan yawned and then stood up and walked over to Mimi.

"Mimi, I'm tiwed," he said pitifully, rubbing at his eyes.

"Ok," Mimi said, "Do you have any pajamas?" He pointed over to the suitcase and Mimi opened it and dug through for some pajamas for him. She chose some that had Spiderman on them and walked back to him.

"Ok, Nathan. Let's go get your pj's on," she said, reaching down for his hand and she lead him into the bathroom to change.

Roger stood up and walked over to the table where everyone else was sitting.  
"So, is he staying?" Collins asked.

"No."

"Why not?"  
"Collins, do you really think we can take care of him?"

"So, wait. We can take care of a baby, but not a toddler?" Collins asked, raising on eyebrow.

"It's different, you wouldn't understand." Just like Mimi didn't understand. Why was everyone so intent on keeping that kid? Ok, if Roger was honest with himself the kid was adorable and he did like him, but there was no way they could take care of him well. He should just go back to his aunt, she could provide for him much better than they could. After all, she had raised him for the first three years of his life, she could do it for the next fifteen. And she would actually be around for them.

"Now, why don't you go play with your toys for a little longer, and I'll set a bed up for you, ok?" Mimi asked, leading Nathan back out to the living area.

"Ok," he said, and he went off to the side where his toys still lay in a jumbled pile.

Mimi grabbed some sheets, a blanket, and a pillow off one of the shelves and began to set up a little make-shift bed on the couch for Nathan.

"Ok, Nathan. Time for bed. She turned to see the small boy already climbing onto the couch, holding a stuffed penguin and a book.

"Mimi, I cweaned up aww my toys. Can I have a stowy, pwease?" he held the book out to her and Mimi took it, sitting down next to him.

"Nathan, you didn't have to do that."

"It's one of my chowes. Gwandma says I shouwd awways cwean up aftew myself, because it's good mannews and she's not my maid. Then I get a stowy."

"Ok." That seemed a little odd to Mimi. Grandmothers usually doted relentlessly on their grandchildren and had no problem cleaning up after them. At any rate, it seemed odd that she made a three year old do chores.

"So, what are reading tonight?" she asked, opening the book.

"It's_ If You Give a Mouse a Cookie_. can't you wead?" he asked, seeming worried about Mimi's ability to tell him the story.

"Of course I can," Mimi laughed, "Do you like this book?"  
"I wove it. It's my favowite."

"It was always one of mine, too." And she started reading. Roger smiled slightly as he watched them. Mimi was going to make such a great mother. For a second he even thought she would make a great mother for Nathan, but he shook the idea off. There was no way they could take care of him. While Mimi was reading, Roger took the phone and walked into his bedroom with it to call Carla. It rang a few times before someone finally answered, sounding breathless as if she had sprinted to answer it.  
"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Carla?" There was a short pause before she answered.  
"Yes, who is this?"

"Roger Davis." Another pause.

"Why did you call?"

"Because I want to know what the hell is going on."

"What's so hard to understand, Roger? You have a kid and it's time you took responsibility for him. What, did you think I was going to raise him his entire life? I only took him in until April could get her life back together, but it never happened. And you obviously got yours back together, so it's time you took him back."

"Don't you think a little notice would've been nice? A phone call, or a letter, or at least you staying long enough to explain to me what the hell happened and why the hell I never knew anything about it!" there was another pause, a longer one this time.

"You… You didn't know?"

"No, do you really think I would have a kid and then just completely abandon him?"

"I don't know. I've never met you… But April said she talked to you. She said you said that it wasn't the right time for a baby and you couldn't raise him. So I told her I would take him in. She swore she would be back, though, that she would come back to get him once she cleaned up her act… God, I can't believe she never told you… then again, I can't believe a lot of shit she did." For the first time, Roger felt a small pang of pity for Carla. April was her sister and in many ways her best friend. It must have hurt to see her crash and burn like she had.

"Do you mind explaining to me what the hell happened, then?"

"I can't right now. I have work tomorrow, so I'd like some sleep. Tell you what, why don't you meet me at the Life Café tomorrow at 3:00, that's when I get off work. You guys go there a lot, right? So you should know where it is. And I'll tell you what happened."

"Ok, fine."

"See you tomorrow, then," she said, sounding as if she detested the idea greatly.

"Wait, Carla."

"What?"

"Is he… Is he ok? Like, health-wise?"

"Oh. Yeah. He's fine. Well, mostly. He has asthma. But it's mild and his medicine is in his backpack, so he should be fine."

"He has asthma?" Roger asked, getting angry. Not because Nathan had asthma, but because if he hadn't called Carla he wouldn't have known this. What if he had an attack and they didn't know what to do? "What, you didn't think to mention that in the letter?"

"I'm sorry, ok. It must have slipped my mind, I wrote it pretty quickly."

"Yeah, you were too eager to leave a three year old in Alphabet City alone."

"Can we discuss this tomorrow? I really don't have time for this."

"Fine." And she hung up on him. Roger slammed the phone down and sat on his bed, thinking. A few minutes later Mimi came in and started to undress for bed.

"So, what did Carla say?"

"She said she thought I knew about him and we're going to talk more tomorrow after she gets off work."

"Wow. There has been some major miscommunication here."

"_Miscommunication?_Mimi, April had a kid, _my_ kid. And she never told me! She never even mentioned anything about it, not once!"

"Maybe she was too scared to. I mean, look at it this way. She obviously had just started going out with you, she liked you, and she had drug problem and now suddenly she's pregnant. That's not a very good situation to be in."

"I guess. But, later on she could've told me. We were together for over two years."

"Roger, you can't hold this against her. It's in the past, it's done with. Just let it go and try to move on."

She and Roger got in bed and she laid her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm going to have a stepson," she mused after a few moments' silence, "And he's by far the most adorable little boy I've ever met. I hope our kid is at least half as cute as him."

"Hmmm," Roger said and Mimi turned to look at him.  
"What's wrong?" she asked. Then she looked at him a little more closely, "Roger Davis, are you jealous? Of a three-year-old?"

"No, it's not that…"

"Then what is it?"

"It's just… He's my kid… But he doesn't seem to like me very much. And he _adores_ you…"

"Awww, you're jealous of _me_?" she laughed.

"Well, yeah… A little."

"Roger, relax, ok. It's probably just because I was the first one who was nice to him. And you just sort of stared at him."

"And how would you react seeing the three-year-old son you never knew you had for the first time."

"Well,_ I_ understand that, but he's a little kid, Roger. He probably thinks you don't like him."

"Really?" Mimi was surprised by the hurt she heard in his voice.

"He's just a little kid," she repeated, "Their thoughts change a lot. You could let him know you like him by letting him stay…"

"Nice try. He can't stay."

"Fine," she muttered, snuggling closer and closing her eyes, "I always have tomorrow to change your mind."

Roger opened his mouth to protest, but closed it as he watched Mimi. Part of him was hoping she would.

* * *

_The next three chapters will mostly be flashbacks. Isn't that fun:p I'll try to have it up soon, but I have tons to do what with key Club and I have a huge Pre-Calculus test coming up (panics) But I shall try._

_Also, I now have Carla and Nathan's pictures up on my homepage. (Or, I will once I put them up which is right after I post this.)  
_


	5. Coming Home

_I'm so so so so so so so times a million sorry. I have been unbelievably busy with Christmas and everything and then I got sick and I just had literally no time to write. But I got around to getting this chapter up now. :) And I'm on break, so hopefully I'll be able to update more frequently now. I definitely will try my hardest to not have a horrid time lapse like I did this time. I'm so sorry._

_Now, that I revealed the secret of the story I can explain my inspiration for this story. I have constantly read stories people wrote about April being pregnant either when or immediately before committing suicide and then one day I just started wondering "What if she actually had a baby?" Thus this fic was born!_

_One last note. I sent this chapter to my beta-reader, but I just decided I have had too large a time gap, so I looked it over myself and just posted it. So I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. _

_Happy Birthday, datagirl3. Enjoy. :)_

* * *

Roger woke up to the sounds of the TV playing faintly from the living area. They had gotten a TV a few months ago, when Mimi was home-ridden during her recovery and complained of having nothing to do with everyone gone all day; especially after Mark started dating Jodie. So they had bought a TV. They rarely ever used it, though, except to watch movies every once in a while.

So Roger was surprised to hear it was on. He got up and walked out into the living area to find Nathan sitting Indian style on the couch, staring at the TV holding the remote in his hand. He was watching _Sesame Street_. As Roger watched, Nathan began giggling at Cookie Monster, who was singing about how "C is for 'cookie'". **(A/N: I don't know about you guys, but that is one of my fav Sesame Street songs. I have a tape. ****J**** And yes, I sometimes still listen to it. Can you blame me? Have any of you ever seen Sesame Street these days? It is horrible! I miss the good old days. Le sigh. Another random note: WE NEED KAMI!!! Ok. I'm done now. :p )**

"Hey, buddy. How did you get the TV on?" Roger asked, walking over to Nathan and joining him on the couch. Nathan turned to look at Roger and his eyes immediately got wide. He looked like a deer in caught in headlights. A very small deer. He pulled his legs up, and wrapped his arms around them.

"Cowins put it on fow me befowe he weft," he mumble quietly, resting his head on his knees.

"Did Collins wake you up?" Roger heard Mimi ask from the door to their bedroom. She came out and sat down on the other side of Nathan and he immediately scooted over so he was closer to Mimi.

"No, I was aweady up. Gwandma aways says you shouwd be up vewy eawy so you can get evewything done." He was three. Roger wondered how much a three year old had to do in one day. It didn't really seem like much.

"Oh," Mimi said, looking thoughtful. Roger wondered if she was thinking about the same thing he was. During the silence Nathan had turned his attention back to the television and watched as The Count began counting flowers. Mimi stood up and walked over to the kitchen area. She was shortly joined by Roger.

"What are you doing?" Mimi whispered.

"Walking over here," Roger whispered back, confused.

"I can see that. You should be over there, spending time with your son." Roger was slightly stunned by her mentioning of his "son", he wondered if that was something he would ever get used to. Maybe once the shock wore off. No. Not even then.

"I'm going to make breakfast," he said and he went to the fridge to pull out some eggs to make scrambled eggs. Kids like scrambled eggs, right? Mimi sighed and then walked over to the couch to join Nathan, who was now laughing hysterically as Grover counted on a mountain top. **(A/N: One of the best Sesame Street skits EVER.)**

About fifteen minutes later Roger had finished making breakfast and turned his attention to the television viewers, who were now engrossed in an episode of _The Big Comfy Couch_. Apparently there was a cat (named Snicklefritz **(A/N: Best fictional character name EVER. :p)**) who had a hitting fetish and these clowns were trying to convince him that it hurt others and was wrong. It looked, by far, like one of the weirdest shows Roger had ever seen. As Roger watched the camera shifted to under the couch on two dust bunnies that didn't talk (they really more sort of squeaked) and were hitting each other and then laughing. It was definitely the weirdest show Roger had ever seen. It must have been good for little kids, though, because Nathan found it hilarious.

"Breakfast is done," Roger said, causing the two to look over at him. Mimi stood up and Nathan jumped off the couch before moving immediately to the TV and turning it off. He then ran to catch up with Mimi and practically hung off her arm as they walked over to the table.

"Scwambled eggs! I wove scwambled eggs!" Nathan exclaimed after Mimi helped him into his chair.

"Your daddy made them," Mimi said and Roger became stunned again. Yeah, there was no way he would get used to that.

"Weally?" he asked, turning to Roger now.

"Yeah," he said, once he had finally found the voice to speak.

"Gwandma says that giwls awe supposed to cook. That's why she wouldn't wet me hewp her when she bakes," he said, looking forlorn as he returned to his eggs. You would think from his reaction that not being able to cook with your grandma was like being denied cake on your Birthday.

"Well, I'm sure Roger would be perfectly fine with you helping him," Mimi said, noticing his sudden mood change and trying to cheer him up. Roger shot her a look. The kid wasn't going to be around long enough for him to help Roger cook. But Nathan's mood worsened after that.

"No. Gwandma says I shouwdn't do it, so I shouwdn't," he was so upset he looked almost scared. Mimi exchanged a look with Roger, before returning to her own eggs.

"Well, I have to go to work," Roger said, after looking at the clock and noticing it was after 9:30.

"Uh-oh. Roger. What are we going to do? I have to work at 1:00." Roger stared at her, not understanding then he realized. Oh. The three-year-old. Yeah, they couldn't leave him in the loft alone.

"When does Mark get home?" Roger asked.

"Around 4:00, I think."  
"Ok. Why don't you ask Tricia to baby-sit until Mark comes home. Then he can watch him until I get back."

"Ok."

"You don't sound too happy with that plan."  
"It just seems like a bad idea, Roger. I mean, he just got here yesterday. We're all he knows and now we're going to leave him in the care of _another_ stranger?"

"Mimi, he'll be fine. Tricia watches her siblings all the time. And it's only for a few hours. It'll be fine."

"Fine. Well, you better go. You're going to be late."

"Ok, bye baby." He kissed her before turning to run out the door. He stopped half-way there, remembering the other occupant in the room. "Bye, Nathan."

"Bye, Daddy," the little boy said, waving at him from his seat. Roger stood in the doorway, staring at him. He had just called him "daddy". Roger had just met this kid the night before and he already called him "daddy". More surprising than that was that Roger liked it. Maybe… No. They couldn't do it. And if Roger didn't leave now he was going to be late. So he turned around and walked out of the loft.

* * *

"It's about time you got here. I was about to leave," Carla said as Roger entered the Life and sat in the booth across from her. He glanced at the clock hanging over the bar.

"It's 3:07."

"Well, I do have a life, you know."

"Yeah. It must be so difficult what-with raising a kid and all. Oh, yeah. That's right. You dumped him on my doorstep." He gave Carla a sharp look, then watched as she wordlessly attempted to formulate a coherent response.

"God, do you really hate him that much?" she finally asked, stunned.

"I don't hate_him," _he snapped back.

Carla opened her mouth to shoot back, but then thought better of it and shut her mouth. She picked up a menu, still clearly fuming and began reading.

"I've never eaten here before, what the heck is all this stuff?" she asked, still looking at the menu.

"It's mostly vegetarian food," Roger told her, surprised, "If you've never eaten here, why did you suggest I meet you here?"

"Because April always gushed about how much she loved this place and I knew you knew where it was. If I'd known it was vegetarian, though…" she shuddered and Roger couldn't completely disagree. He, personally, liked meat, but Collins and Maureen were avid vegetarians (And Angel had been, as well as April. Which would explain why Carla knew about it.)

"Figures, though. April was always the weird one… Always eating leaves instead of real food. Mother used to tell her how unnatural it was, but she would never listen to her…" she broke off and closed her eyes, she looked like she was in slight pain.

"Are you ok?" Roger asked.

"I'm fine," she said, opening her eyes again. In the end she just ordered a Caesar salad. They sat in an awkward silence, looking at everything but each other until Roger finally spoke.

"So, what happened?" he finally asked, unable to think of a better way to word his question.

"What do you mean 'what happened'?"

"What happened… Like, with April having a kid and everything… And why didn't she even tell me?" Carla sighed.

"I'm really sorry about that, Roger. I thought she told you. She said she had told you. Great, another mess sister dearest left for me to clean up." She didn't sound bitter as much as… Miserable. "I just want you to know, though, Roger. He is yours. April never slept with anyone else while you guys were dating and she wasn't pregnant when she met you."

"I know," Roger said. All he had to do was take one look at the kid and know he was his. It was obvious.

"It's just… She got pregnant so early in your relationship and she freaked… That's why she came to us…"

* * *

_FLASHBACK _**(A/N: Ooh, fun. :p)**

April leaned weakly against the sink, still holding the pregnancy test in her hand and stared at it numbly. Pregnant. She was pregnant. How was that possible? Shit.

Well, she had really fucked things up now. What the hell was she going to do? She and Roger had only been dating for five months. Five months and she was already pregnant. Looks like she was finally proving her mother right: she was nothing but a screw-up.

She jumped as she heard a pounding on the door.

"April are you done in there? I have to use the bathroom." It was Mark. Thank God. She was worried it was Roger. She really didn't want to have to deal with that right now.

"Yeah, in a minute," she called. She had to figure out what the hell she was going to do with the pregnancy test. She settled for snapping it in half and flushing it down the toilet. She didn't want to risk someone coming across it in the trash.

"It's all yours," she said, smiling at Mark as she walked out to the living area. No one else was up yet. That was good. It gave April some time to think. She sat down on the couch and tried to work out what the hell she was going to do.

She really fucked up this time. She and Roger had only been dating for five months. How the hell would he react to this? Not well. Not well at all. He was a great guy, but he would not like this. Would he even believe the baby was his? What if he got mad at April? What if he broke up with her and threw her out? April wasn't sure if she could take that. Roger was all she had. Maybe he wouldn't be mad. Maybe he would be fine with it and they could just raise the baby.

April looked around the loft. Yeah, right. There was no way they could pull that off. She doubted she and Roger could raise a child under normal circumstances, let alone here. There was no space, what-with six adults living in one apartment. And there was no way they were… stable enough to have a baby. April worked as waitress at a café and Roger bartended by day and played music by night. And, oh yeah, there was the whole drug thing. People tended to think poorly of you if you tried to raise a child while using drugs. Like it was _that_ big of a deal. It's not like it was this huge addiction or anything. They only used every once in a while, but people still talk…

She couldn't just hide this from him. He was bound to notice she pregnant sooner or later. It wasn't an easy thing to hide from someone you shared a bed with every night. So, what were her other options? She could get an abortion. She flinched at the thought. Her mother would kill her if she ever found out…

Her mother. No. She was _not_ going back there again. No chance in Hell. But it wouldn't just be her mother, it would be Carla as well. April missed Carla. She hadn't seen her in almost two years. Not since she had left home. She really missed Carla. Carla was always there for her; she always gave the best advice. April could go home for a few days and ask Carla what she thought she should do. It would mean having to put up with her mother for a bit, but that wouldn't be so bad if she had Carla. And she was an adult now, she shouldn't let her mother scare her anymore.

Well, that was what she was going to do. She got up off the couch and walked into her and Roger's bedroom to pack a bag. She heard the door open about an hour later and Roger entered their room, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

"Hey, I'm home," he said.

"No shit," she laughed, slightly nervous. She didn't like him touching her waist, what if he noticed? She wiggled out of his grasp and turned around, giving him a small kiss before returning to her packing.

"What are you doing?" he asked, looking slightly worried.

"Uh… My mom called. She needs me home for a few days. My dad's really sick and she and Carla need my help taking care of him." She really hoped he wouldn't remember her telling him about her dad running out on them when she was eleven years old.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Do you want me to go with you?"

"No! I mean… Well… See, my parents don't really know you very well. And I'll be staying there for a few days at the very least, so I don't even know how long I need to take off work and I just don't want to bother you that much."

"If you're leaving I'll be bothered a hell of a lot more than if I had to take some time off work."

"What about the Hungarians?" she asked, knowing this was his weakness. Roger wouldn't let the guys down for anything.

"I guess you're right," he sighed, walking over to her and taking her in his arms again. "How long will you be gone."

"I told you, I'm not sure. I few days at the very least. I'm sorry. I know it's rotten timing and everything with Thanksgiving coming and everything, but I'll try to make it back as soon as I can." She was trying as hard as she could to hide the panic she felt at him touching her. She was sure he would discover it for himself and then he would be even madder at her because she had tried to hide it from him.

"Ok. I'll miss you."

"I know. I'll miss you too." She leaned up to kiss him again and then turned away to finish packing. She sighed. This was going to be a long weekend.

* * *

April sat in the cab heading for her old house thinking. Her family didn't live too far away from the loft, actually. They lived just on the other side of New York. But she never visited and she never let Roger know how close they lived. If he knew he would probably want to meet them and she would've hated that.

April hated her family. Well, not her family, just her mother. And her father. But she didn't count him as family anymore. April never really realized how horrible her home life was until she was about ten years old. That was when Nathan had died. He was her seventeen-year-old brother and was the pride of the family. He had straight A's all throughout school (April was lucky if she managed without a D.); he was very athletic, a star in every sport he tried; he was incredibly polite; and always helped out around the community and at home. He was the model citizen.

April had slightly noticed how she and her sister were constantly being compared to him in a less-than-flattering way, but she had never thought anything of it. She was sure in that naïve childhood way that her parents loved all of their children equally, they just talked about Nathan more because he did more.

Then one day he was drinking and driving (Not so perfect now, huh?) and he sent his car flying over a bridge. They never even found his body. After that everything changed. Her mother became even more strict than usual. She was constantly yelling at April and Carla, usually screaming and would sometimes even throw things. She was also constantly fighting with April's father. They each blamed each other Nathan's death and it really tore the two apart. Eventually her dad just walked out the door one day and never came back.

Then things got even worse. There was no one else to take their mother's fury, so April and Carla got screamed at even more. Their mom basically just gave up on raising them. So Carla raised them herself. She was fifteen at the time Nathan died and even though she could've escaped when she was eighteen, she didn't. She had to finish raising April. The last thing she wanted was for April to turn into one of those street kids who always misbehaved and spent most of their lives in and out of jail, living on the streets and being menaces to society.

April was surprised Carla still lived at home now. April was all grown up and had moved out a while ago. (More like ran away. She just had had enough, so she packed a bag and ran one night.) So why was Carla still there? She probably was just so used to living there by now. Living with their mother sucked, but it was somewhere to live and Carla probably was still looking for somewhere to live.

The cab stopped outside a two-story building and April looked at it, not able to fully suppress a shudder. She hated the place. Why the hell was she back, again? She got out of the car, taking her bag with her and slowly trudged up to the door. She stood on the steps for a whole minute before finally getting enough courage to knock on the door. She heard a woman shout in the background and winced. Her mother. This was going to be fun…

The door opened to reveal a woman with red hair in her early twenties. She stood there, looking bored and slightly annoyed at first. Then, as comprehension dawned, she just looked shocked and stared at April.

"Hey, sis. I came back for a visit," April said, trying to sound cheerful and at a loss of what else to say.

"Oh my God," Carla said, stepping aside to let April in. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were living across town with that Roger guy."

"Well, I was. But I have a problem…"

"Who was at the door?" April turned to the doorway to the living room to find a woman in her mid forties entering the hallway. She looked at April for a long moment before speaking again, "Well, look who finally decided to come home. Did that no good boyfriend of yours finally throw you out?"  
"Roger did not throw me out, Mom," April said, getting slightly defensive. She was brought back to all the arguments she had had with her mother as a teen. Her mother was convinced April was trash, as well as every boy she ever dated. April could never find someone good enough for her.

"Then what the hell are you doing back? And don't say you just felt like visiting with the family, because I know that's a lie." April looked down at her shoes. She had no idea what the hell she was going to tell her mother. She probably should've attempted to work that out during the cab ride, but she was too busy anticipating about where she was going. She stuttered for a few seconds while her mother stared at her with disapproving eyes. Then her mother got a knowing look on her face and said "He knocked you up, didn't he?"

Carla's eyes doubled in size as she stared at April. "No. April… You didn't." After all the talks Carla had given her about safe sex and marriage and all that she had gone and made a mistake anyway.

"I'm surprised, actually, that you managed this far before fucking up. So, what happened? You told your boyfriend, he told you he didn't want it, so you came here for our help, right?"

"Sort of," April mumbled. She did _not_ want them to know she hadn't told Roger yet.

"Well, what the hell do you want us to do about it? This is your mess, you should clean it up."

"But I don't know what to do," April said ashamedly. She hated admitting that to her mother.

"What else is new. All right. I'll tell you what to do. You stay here and have this baby. Then we can decide what we'll do with it. I need some time to think this over. You should consider yourself lucky. Your grandparents weren't as kind when I was pregnant with your brother. And he was actually a useful addition to the world."

April flinched. That was certainly not what she had wanted to hear. Not only had her mother told her to stay in this God forsaken place, but she had actually compared herself to April. Well, April was not going to be like her mother. She was going to do right by this child. She would have it and then give it up for adoption to a worthy family who would care for it and love it. That seemed like the right thing to do.

"Now get your sorry ass upstairs. You can stay in your old room. And don't think that just because you managed to knock yourself up this means you get to sit around all day doing nothing. You're going to help out here just as much as you always did. Carla, go help her." Then she turned around and walked back into the living room, leaving her daughters standing in the hallway awkwardly, avoiding each other's eyes.

"April, how could you?" Carla finally said in a small voice, before taking April's suitcase and heading up the stairs with it. Nothing April had felt all night compared to the horrible guilt she felt at letting Carla down. Carla had tried so hard to raise her right and help her get a better life than what they were used to and April just fucked it up. Nice job.

April lay in bed later that night, thinking. She had really fucked everything up now. And the only way to get her family to help would be if she stayed here until she had the baby. That was something she did _not_ want to do. She was barely along, she hadn't even started showing yet. She would be stuck in that hellhole for months. And she wouldn't be able to see Roger at all during that time. The thought made her sick. What was she going to do? She heard a knock on her door and Carla came in.

"Hey," she said, walking over and sitting on the edge of April's bed.

"Hey." April sat up, so she could see her sister better.

"April, how could you do this?" Carla finally asked after a long moment of silence, "I always taught you to be so careful. How could you let this happen?"

"I know. I'm sorry. I just…wasn't thinking."  
"So, what are you going to do?"  
"What else can I do? I'm going to give the baby up for adoption."  
"April, you can't do that."  
"Yes, I can and I am. Roger and I can't raise the thing and I don't want to get an abortion. Even if I did Mom would never let me. You know that."  
"You could always raise the baby yourself," she suggested. Carla was clearly under the impression that Roger didn't want the baby and that was why April was there. April decided not to correct her. She knew what Carla would tell her to do, and she really didn't want to do it.  
"No, I can't. I need Roger, Carla. I can't lose him."  
"So, you'll be with him at the expense of your baby? April, that's very selfish." For the first time, Carla sounded mad and April knew why. Here was Carla's second chance to see a child raised the right way. To see the child grow up in a normal, happy home, loved and cared for like a child should be. She had failed the first time and that was all April's fault.  
"Carla, I can't raise a baby," April sad firmly, "I'm nineteen."  
"Mom was eighteen when she had Nathan."  
"And you're seriously modeling a good parent after Mom?"  
"Just, think about it. Ok April? Please?"  
"All right. I'll think about it."  
Carla stood up and then walked over to the door. She got to the doorway and then turned back to smile at April.  
"I'm sort of glad you're back. I've really missed you."  
"I missed you too, Carla." She turned and left, shutting the door behind her.  
April sighed and looked around her. She was back home again. Back home and miserable. And she knew things would only get worse.

* * *

_I have Margaret's picture up on my profile now, for those who like to have visuals for people. I'll try to have the next chapter up soon. It's slightly painful to write right now because it's all abotu April (The next one is a complete flashback) and she slightly bores me for some reason. :p  
_


	6. Secrets and Lies

_Duh duh duh dah! Chapter six. And it was less than three weeks. I'm so proud of myself. :) :p Before I let you start I feel the need to explain something about this part of the story. These three chapters are flashbacks, with every detail included. This isn't the story that Carla is telling roger. So Roger and Carla don't know all (or even most, really) of what goers on in these chapters. I just figured if I was going to write it I might as well write it right. :p Carla is basically giving Roger the bare bones story of what she knows._

_Thanx, again, to Steph. Without her April wouldn't "acre" in the story instead of "care" :p _

_Enjoy. :)_

* * *

"Do we have to do this?" April asked. She was sitting in the passenger seat of her mother's car with Carla at the wheel. They were driving to the doctor's for April's first pre-natal check-up.

"April, we have to know how the baby is doing. What if something goes wrong?" April wasn't entirely sure if that would be bad or not. She did know one thing, though, she didn't want anyone to know she was pregnant. She was rather embarrassed about it.

They walked into the office a few minutes later. Carla went up to the receptionist to check in while April walked over to sit down in the corner farthest from anyone else. There were a few people there. Mostly women older than herself with their husbands or boyfriends. Everyone looked at her with looks of either pity or disgust. She sunk low into her chair, feeling even more embarrassed than usual. The screw-up slut, come into the doctor's with her sister, the one person who cared enough to come with her.

"How long to we have to sit here?" April finally asked Carla after fifteen minutes of this torture.

"Your appointment's in another five minutes. Just relax," she said soothingly, looking up from one of the parenting magazines she had been reading.

"Yeah, easy for you to say. You don't have everyone in this room shooting you these weird looks every five seconds," April hissed back, trying to keep her voice down.

"I'm sure you're overreacting. No once is shooting you weird looks." She looked around as she said this and noticed one woman's eyes quickly moving back to her own magazine. "Ok, maybe you're not overreacting. But what do you care what they think for, anyway? You'll never see any of these people again, so why does it matter?"

April tried to repeat that over and over to herself as they waited, but it didn't take the shame away. She wished Roger were there with her, but she knew he would never have come if she told him. He would've freaked. She finally got called in and went through the Spanish inquisition and a full physical that left her seriously wanting a hit. Weren't you supposed to relax when you were pregnant? She had a feeling all of this could not be good for the baby. Hours later, it seemed, the doctor was finally done and told April she may leave. She jumped off the table like it had been electrocuted and practically ran to the waiting room.

"Ok, let's get out of here," she said as soon as she reached Carla. Carla stood up, tossing the magazine onto a nearby table and followed April wordlessly out of the room.

"God, I hated that. Are you sure I have to keep going back there?" April asked.

"April, it's for the baby," Carla explained patiently, concentrating more on the road than the conversation.

"I don't care, I can't bare to go through that humiliation again."

"That's really selfish, you know. And besides, don't you want to go in for and ultrasound tomorrow and see what the baby looks like?"

"Not really." April didn't really want to have anything to do with this baby. It was this thing's fault that she was stuck living with her crazy mother for the next few months instead of with Roger. She wouldn't even be able to see him without him getting suspicious of the pregnancy. This was going to be a very long six months.

Carla glanced at April morosely out of the corner of eye then sighed.

"So, where do you want to go to eat?"

* * *

April sat on the back porch smoking a cigarette and thinking. She couldn't remember ever feeling this stressed in her life. She needed a hit badly, but she had to wait until her mother and sister were asleep before sneaking out. Her mother didn't trust her and so she sent Carla with her everywhere she went, like a baby-sitter. It was very annoying. She heard the glass sliding door open and threw her cigarette onto the pavement. That was a lecture she could skip.

"Hey. What are you doing out here?" It was Carla. Good. April didn't really feel like talking to her mom. Like she would even search her out. If she wanted to talk to April she would just scream at her until she appeared.

"Just thinking."  
"You really shouldn't be out here in the cold. It's not good for the baby."

"Well, that's too bad. Because if I want to stand around in the cold and think I should be able to."

Carla looked like she was going to say something, but then gave the idea up. She looked around, staying silent for a while, then she noticed something on the ground.

"April, were you smoking?" she asked, shocked.

"Maybe. What do you care?"

"You know, that is_definitely_ not good for the baby."

"So what, Carla? It's just a baby, what does it care?"

"I think it cares if you kill it. Or give it some birth defect."

"Carla, I'm not going to kill the baby by smoking one little cigarette. Now, if you just came out here to nag me, will you just please leave me alone?"

Carla just stared at her in disappointed silence for a while, before shaking her head slightly in frustration and walking back inside.

* * *

"I'm going to die! This baby is not worth it!" April whined the next day as she sat waiting for the ultrasound technician to call them in.

"April, you're not going to die. It's just a little water." April shot her an evil death glare that made Carla try a different approach. "And you don't know that. I know it may sound crazy, but you might actually like this baby."

"Not likely," April muttered under her breath.

"April Ericsson," a calm voice finally said and April shot out of her chair, heading for the door.

"Hi, I'm Kaitlyn. I'll be giving you your ultrasound," the pretty blond said as April approached her.

"Listen, lady, no offense, but I really don't care. I feel like my bladder is about to explode, so can we please get this over with?" Carla shot her an annoyed look, but Kaitlyn just laughed.

"Yeah, I totally sympathize. I had my first ultrasound last week. It sucks. Follow me." Then she turned around and led them down a long hallway into a small room with an exam table in it and some monitors.

"Lie down on the table, please and pull your shirt up so I can get this jelly on your stomach."

April pulled herself onto the table and laid down, pulling her shirt up to expose her stomach.

"Ok, I'm going to put this jelly on your stomach It's going to feel a little cold."

She picked up the wand **(A/N: Thank you, Thegirlsmiles)** and looked at the screen.

"So, you're pregnant?" April asked, curious now.

"Mhm. With twins. My husband and I are so excited. We were prepared for one little blessing and instead we got two." She was all smiles and it was obvious that she was one of those happy, motherly types. April definitely wasn't that type. Then she got a sudden, horrible thought. What if _she_ was having twins? One baby was bad enough, but _two_? What the hell would she do with them?

"There's your baby," Kaitlyn suddenly said, pulling April out of horrifying thoughts. She glanced at the screen and was pleased to see one, single baby. Thank God. It was almost cute. In a weird, alien sort of way. It looked sort of like a seahorse, but April had always liked marine life, so it wasn't so bad.

"Would you like me to print you out a picture?" Kaitlyn asked sweetly.

"No. No, I'm perfectly fine. I don't need a picture. I can remember what my little sea horse looks like very fine, without a picture." April said. Kaitlyn laughed and then looked more closely at the picture.

"Huh. It _does_ look a bit like a sea horse. I never noticed that before." Then she laughed again, "Well, you can go to the bathroom now and then you can go wait in the doctor's office for your report."

"Thank God!" she shouted, hopping off the table and she sprinted for the bathroom.

* * *

"More waiting," April complained as she slouched in one of the chairs in front of the doctor's desk.

"We have to make sure the baby I healthy," Carla told her for the fiftieth time.

"I know, but can't we just go home and they can tell us all of this over the phone?" Just as she finished this statement the doctor came in, carrying a folder and looking slightly worried. That can't be good. April sat up straighter in her chair.

"Ok, Ms. Ericsson. There's a slight problem with the baby." April was surprised by the bubble of panic that had suddenly formed.

"What? Is there something wrong with the baby?"

"It's nothing serious, but your baby is about three months along. But it is very underdeveloped to be at this stage." That definitely didn't sound good.

"Is it going to be ok?" she asked.

"I think it'll be fine. This is still fairly early in the pregnancy and so we can try to fix this. You'll just have to change your diet and lifestyle a bit and we'll have to put you on some medication for this." Ok, that sounded like it was going to suck. April didn't want to change her lifestyle just for this baby. But she agreed so she could get out of that building.

"April, this seems serious," Carla said on the ride home, "I mean, your baby could be seriously hurt. What have you been doing to yourself lately? Is this just from smoking? Have you been eating? You haven't become all anorexic again, have you?"

"Jeez, Carla! Chill! It's nothing. Probably just some weirdness going on with the baby, ok? I haven't been doing anything wrong." April seriously doubted this, but she didn't care. She just wanted Carla to get off her back.

"Fine. But I'm watching you more closely, now. No smoking."

April groaned.

"It's for the baby, April."

Yeah, everything was 'for the baby". It was starting to get on April's nerves.

* * *

Two weeks later April figured she couldn't hold a phone call off any longer. Roger would be wondering where she was, so she picked the phone up and dialed the loft, hoping no one would pick up.

"Hello?" Shit. It was Maureen. Maybe Roger wouldn't be there.

"Hey, Maureen. It's me, April. Is Roger there?"

"Oh my God, April! What the hell is going on? We haven't heard from you in ages! Are you ok?"  
"I'm fine, it's just…" April racked her brain. What was the excuse she had given Roger? "My dad's been getting worse and I didn't want to leave my mom and sister with him like this."

"Oh, ok. Well, hang on. I'll go get Roger. He has been Majorly depressed without you being here." April felt a small pang of guilt work its way into her brain.

"Hello?"

"Roger, hi."

"April, finally. Why didn't you call this whole time? I was worried you had gotten into a car accident or something on the way over there."

"No, I've just been busy. My dad keeps getting worse."

"I'm sorry."

"That's ok, it's not your fault. Anyway, I'm calling to let you know that I probably won't be coming home anytime soon. I just feel really bad about leaving Mom and Carla right now. Especially since Christmas is coming up and everything. It would just be a really bad time."

"Oh, ok." He sounded absolutely heartbroken. The guilty feeling worsened. "Well, that's fine. Just do what you got to do. But could you call more often? I was really worrying about you."

"Yeah, I'll try." She heard her mom screeching her name up the stairs, so she knew it was time to go. "Roger, my mom's calling me. I'll have tot alk to you later."

"Ok. I love you."

"I love you too." She hung the phone up gently and then placed her head in her hands. She felt terrible. She was lying to Roger and she hated it. But she couldn't tell him the truth. If he ever found out…

"April, if you don't get down here right now you'll get no dinner!" she heard her mom shriek. She sighed and stood up heading for the door. It was her childhood all over again.

* * *

New year's was a depressing affair. **(A/N: It's New Year's right now and my entire family is leaving me alone. Just me and the dog. ****L**** le sigh)** April was still pregnant (Unsurprisingly, since she was due in April.) and hating every second of it. She had started showing and Carla was constantly nagging her about plans for the baby. Where it would sleep; what to name it; what they should buy for it. She didn't really seem more excited for the actual baby's arrival than April did, but she wanted to be prepared. April wanted to drink. It was, after all, New Year's, but Carla had vetoed that right away. Like smoking, drinking was off limits until the little parasite came out.

"It's for the baby," Carla constantly reminded her, like this was supposed to make April feel better or something. If she was truly honest with herself, when she looked t the ultrasounds the baby was sort of cute. In a weird alien sort of way. It's head looked to be about the size of its body, but it had ten fingers and ten toes and looked some-what human. But that didn't mean April wanted to keep it. She just wanted it out of her so she could go back home and live her life in the normal way she used to. The life where she would drink and smoke and do whatever she wanted when she wanted; where she didn't have a restricted diet and her mother and sister on her back constantly; where she didn't have to sneak out every few nights whenever she wanted a hit; and where she didn't have to hide from her boyfriend and lie to him constantly for fear of him leaving her.

"This really sucks," she said while on the phone with him, "It's New Year's and I still can't come home. My mom really wants me to stay. She doesn't think Dad has much time left and wants us to all spend time with him until he's gone. But the doctor gives him at least another month to live, so I asked if I could just come home and she said 'no'." She was getting really good at this lying thing. It was easier if she didn't have to look at him while she lied to him.

"I know, but he is your dad. And I expect you were probably closer with him than I am with my dad. You just stay as long as you need to." Roger was trying way too hard to be understanding, April could tell how much pain he was in and it only made her feel even worse. She considered for a second telling him the truth, but dismissed the idea immediately. That wouldn't help things at all. She heard footsteps down the hall and decided she'd better get off the phone before whoever was there could start yelling at her about whatever she was doing wrong now.

"Roger, I have to go. We're leaving to visit my dad again soon."

"Ok, bye. I love you. And Happy new year."

"I love you too. Happy New Year." She hung the phone up and sat in silence, feeling guilty and waiting for whoever was there to knock on the door. The knock never came, Carla just walked right into her room and stared at her in a very weird way.

"What?" April finally asked.

"Dad left eight years ago," she said disbelievingly. Shit. April felt her face grow immediately red.

"I'm aware of that, Carla. I was there when he and mom were screaming at each other in the hallway before he left, remember?"

"Then why are we going to the hospital to visit him?" she asked accusingly. April just stared at her, opening and closing her mouth repeatedly, trying to figure something out. "You didn't tell him, did you? What, you just told him Dad was in the hospital and then ran here? What are you going to do, April? Just have the baby, give it to whoever the hell wants it and then go back to your perfect baby-less existence back there? And you're not even going to tell the father about it? How do you think that'll make him feel?"

"You don't understand, Carla. I _can't_ tell him. He'll leave me."

"Then he's not good enough for you. Listen, April, if this guy is as great as you've been telling me he is for these past few months, then he won't. And he would want to know that he has a kid somewhere, don't you think?"

April just sat in silence for a while, staring at the floor. As much as she hated to admit it, Carla was right. It wasn't right to keep this from Roger. And if he really loved her, he would stay. But April wasn't sure she wanted to take that kind of risk. But she had to tell Carla something or she would never get out of this situation.

"You're right, Carla. I'll tell him. But not now, because he said he was going to a New Year's party with everyone else. I'll call him and tell him tomorrow." Carla stared at her for a long time, like she was trying to figure out whether she was telling the truth or not. She finally must have decided she was because she nodded slightly and then turned to leave.

"It's the right thing to do, April. He deserves to know."

April just nodded in agreement and watched her go. What the hell was she going to do now?

* * *

Three weeks later April still hadn't told him. She was really starting to show now. All she would have to do would be to go back to the loft and walk through the door and that would tell him everything. But she couldn't. It wasn't like she hadn't tried. She had picked the phone up at least once a day. Sometimes she even got half-way through dialing the number. But she just couldn't work up the nerve to actually do it. She just didn't want to take the risk. What if he left her?

She was riding home with Carla from another of her pre-natal check-ups. She had gotten another ultrasound and the doctor was worried again. The baby was still underdeveloped and the doctor asked if April was taking good care of herself. April didn't say anything, just let Carla assure the doctor of April's special diet and how she hadn't smoked or drank or anything. She, clearly, was unaware of April's nighttime visits to her dealer, and April was going to keep it that way. Now Carla was unusually quiet, gripping the wheel more tightly than necessary.

"I'm worried, April. Things really aren't looking good for the baby," she said tensely.

"Hmm," April responded. She really didn't care much right now. She only had to wait another three months. She was thinking of calling Roger when she got home. She wasn't sure if she would tell him or not, but she had better at least try.

"April, is that all you can say?! I mean, do you even care about this baby at all?" April decided not to answer that one. "April, listen to me!" she shouted, and she pulled over to the side of the road so she could look at her. "I don't care how much you resent this baby, all right? The fact still remains that _you _are having a baby soon. That is _your_ fault, not the baby's. And it's not fair of you to neglect it and be so apathetic about what happens in its life! It is just an innocent little thing and since you're planning to abandon it as soon as its born the least you could do is give it the best chance at life while you still can!" April was shocked. Carla hardly ever lost her temper, especially with April.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Carla. I just really wasn't ready for this. I'm not ready for a baby. I'm 19! I really don't want it!"

"But, April. Somewhere someone does want a baby. And they can have yours. But that can't happen if you end up killing the baby."

"I guess you're right. I just really don't want to lose Roger over this."

"What did he say? When you told him, I mean?" April looked down at her lap guiltily. "You still didn't tell him? April! You have to do that! You have to do that soon!"  
"I will!"

"When? You said you would tell him, like, a month ago! You're calling him up as soon as we get home and telling him!"

"Ok, fine. I will." Carla stared at her for a long moment before starting the car back up and heading home, while April tried to plan out what on earth she was going to tell him.

* * *

Carla set April on the phone in her bedroom and waited until she had dialed the number before leaving to give her some privacy. The phone rang once… twice… three times… And then someone picked up.

"Hello?" It was Roger. April froze. She had no idea what the hell to say. She still don't know how to do this. "Hello?" he asked again.

"Hi, Roger. It's me."

"Hey, April. You haven't called in a while. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah. Listen, Roger. I need to tell you something." She stood there silent and motionless, trying to make the words come out.

"What is it? What's wrong?" She stuttered a few times before finally speaking.

"My dad died this morning," she blurted out. Shit. That was _not_ what she meant to say. Damnit. She couldn't do _anything_ right, could she? And no she had started crying. Well, it helped in convincing Roger that her father had died.

"Oh my God. April, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok," she said, sobbing quietly now, tears spilling down her cheeks. "We're not sure when the funeral's going to be yet, but after that I can come home, so it's not completely bad." She would have to come up with another excuse to appease him for the next three months.

"Ok. Do you want me to come over there? Are you sure you're ok?" He was so sweet. It only made her feel even guiltier.

"No, that's ok. You didn't even know him, so it would be better if you didn't come."

"Ok. Well, I can't wait for you to come home. It's been mostly Mark, Maureen, and me and the two are driving me up the wall." April choked out a laugh at that. Suddenly she realized she missed, not just Roger, but _all_ of her friends. She really wanted to go home.

"Well, I can't wait to be home. I love you."

"I love you, too." He had to go shortly after that for a gig and April hung up the phone, feeling more miserable than she had before the phone call. She sat on her bed crying non-stop. She felt terrible. She was still lying to him. She knew she should tell him, but she didn't want to. If she did she was sure he would leave her. And on top of that she was terribly homesick. She wanted to go home. She missed Maureen's insane, random performances she would suddenly break into and Collins' bizarre theories and opinions on how the world should work and how Benny would listen to her rant about whatever was wrong in her life and try to comfort her and how Mark would film it all so they could watch it later and laugh at themselves. She missed _home_.

She wasn't sure how long she had been crying for, but eventually she heard Carla come in and sit on her bed.

"Hey," she said quietly. When April didn't respond she continued, "So, what did he say." April could've told her the truth. She probably should've told her the truth. But she really didn't want to tell Roger about this baby and she knew that it would get to the point where Carla would just tell him herself. And then he would be even angrier at April for not telling him herself. So she did the worst thing she could've done to her sister at this point and lied.

"He was kind of upset. But he didn't dump me."

"That's good," Carla said hopefully.

"But he said exactly what I've been telling you. We can't raise a baby. We're just not ready, Carla. And we don't have the right environment for it or anything. We can't do it, Carla. So I'm going to have the baby, give it to someone who really wants it, and then go back home." Carla looked slightly hurt and the mentioning of April going back "home". She finally got her sister back over these months and she didn't want her to leave her again so soon.

"Ok," she said after a while, "That's probably for the best, anyway. Dinner's almost ready, so you should come down soon. If you're hungry, that is. You should probably eat something, though. It's probably not good for the baby for you to go hungry."

"Ok, I'll be down in a minute." And then April was left alone to think about what she had done and if there was anyway to fix it. It didn't seem likely. She would just let things play out the way she had told Carla. Hopefully things would work out for the best.

* * *

_Ok, only one more flashback chapter left. I can do this:p Sorry, I needed to pep myself up. _ _I'll hopefully have that up by the end of my Christmas Break. :)_ _In the meantime, though, I was re-reading my other stories (attempting to get back into the mood to write a Rent story. i finally concluded it was just specifically the story and not the Rent fandom that was boring me, seeing as I wrote half of another one. :p) and I noticed how impossible parts were to read because i forgot to put in lines to space them out. So I went back and re-did all of those for people who like to go back and re-read stories (Including the earlier chapters of this one), so now they won't hurt your brains. :p _


	7. Something Wrong

_Sorry for the delay everybody, I just started school again this week and couldn't get on the computer at all until Thursday. :( But it's really long, so I hope that makes up for it. :) I also had to do some major research for this chapter, seeing as the only birth I've ever experienced was my own and I have forgotten all about it during my 16 years of life so far. :p I now know everything I never wanted to know about child birth and pregnancy. (I swear, I'm paying someone to carry my babies, i want seven kids, but there is no way I am going through that. :p) _

_Also, sadly, my awesome beta-reader has sprained her ankle, so it may take her a few days to get my chapters back to me now and so updates may become slower. So I'll try to write faster to meet my "At least one chapter a week" quota. :)_

_Just a little fun fact for you all to know, this is something I meant to somehow put into the story, but I never got around to it so I'm telling you here. At the beginning of the story when Mimi is looking in the day care center, the little boy she sees in the corner looking at a book is Nathan. He really loved books. Also, Dr. Kaitlyn's (I have no last name for her. :p) kids go to the same day care center; her daughter was the one struggling with the pony tail and her son was one of the boys playing on the jungle gym. Probably something no one really cares about, but I thought it up and couldn't think of anywhere to explain it, so I told you here. :p_

_Thank you so much, again, Steph. I hope your ankle feels better soon. _

_Enjoy. :) _

* * *

April sat in her room, thinking. She was having a baby boy. The ultra sound lady had told her. She didn't want to know, but the lady just blurted it out. April didn't like this new lady. Kaitlyn had had her twins (a boy and a girl) and was taking time off work, so she had been replaced with some older lady who was a total bitch. 

But now that April knew she was having a boy, she started thinking. She had always seen this baby as more of a hindrance than an actual being. But it's not. It's an actual, living, breathing baby. An actual living, breathing baby boy, in fact. It made her re-think the whole hating its very existence. Carla was right, even if April didn't want him, someone else would and it was wrong to destroy him. She had two months left now. It was the end of February. She still hadn't told Roger, but she figured she had better get on that soon. She and Roger were actually having a baby; they had created a life together. Whether they were keeping him or not, he should know about him.

"April, get down here!" her mother's shrill voice reached her even with the door closed. She sighed and rolled off the bed, holding her stomach. She was only about 30 weeks along, but her belly was getting pretty big. And she had 10 more weeks to look forward to of this. Great.

"Finally," her mother exclaimed as she waddled into the living room. She was sitting in one of the arm chairs, Carla seated on the couch. April took a seat next to Carla and leaned back, resting her hands on her belly.

"I came as fast as I could, mother. I do, after all have a little added weight," she saw the edges of Carla's mouth twitch, but aside from that she remained expressionless.

"Don't you sass me, young lady. I went through being pregnant three times and I never complained once, even though it ended up resulting in you miserable disappointments."

April just stared at her mother, trying to not to let the words affect her. She had heard it all before, after all.

"Now, I have reached a decision about this baby," she continued, "You will have him and leave him here."

"Leave him here?" April repeated back, not quite sure she understood.  
"Yes. I will raise him and you can go back to that useless boyfriend of yours and I'll await your visit the next time you screw up."

"No."

"Excuse me?"  
"No. You are not raising my baby."

"So you've changed your mind? You're going to raise him?"  
"No, I haven't. I'm giving him to a nice, happy couple who want him and will actually care for and love him. He won't get that here."

"Of course he will. I am perfectly capable of raising a child. After all, I raised three of them. The fact that two of you didn't turn out well is by no fault of my own."

"All he'll get is you scolding him and telling him he's not good enough and pointing out every one of his mistakes. You'll just knock him down and scream at him until he's given up and becomes some big disgrace like me."

"That was your own fault."

"No, mother," April said, jumping to her feet and getting angry now. She noticed Carla patting her shoulder and trying to calm her down, but she didn't listen, "It was yours. All you did throughout my entire life was tell me how useless I was before I was even old enough to do anything useful! You are the reason I'm so messed up. You are the reason I'm stuck living in the slums of New York with no future, no present, and no past with having! I hate you and I would rather my son die than live with you!"

Carla grabbed onto April's shoulders and started pulling her from the room while April glared at her mother who for the first time in April's life appeared to be speechless.

"Come on," Carla said soothingly, "You should go calm down. This stress isn't good for the baby."

April wriggled out of Carla's grasp once they reached the hallway and turned to face her.

"God, Carla. You're almost as bad as her!"

"What?"

"You are such a spineless little wimp. You never stood up to her, ever! Whenever she would yell at me and degrade me you never once told her to stop. And afterwards you never even just said 'She's wrong, April. You're good for something. You aren't useless.' You just ignored her."

"April, I never wanted you to feel useless. I wanted you to grow up the right way. I tried…"

"And how did you expect to do that? You never even grew up yourself! You weren't old enough to have! And even now! For God's sake, you're 24 years old! Move out, get a life, and get away from mom! Quit being too scared to head into the world alone, because let me tell you any life out there is better than the life I had here!" Then she turned around and stormed out the door, slamming it behind her and leaving a stunned Carla standing in the hallway alone.

* * *

April could faintly hear the words of Carla in her head. "It's not good for the baby." She knew Carla hadn't been talking about _this_, but she was sure she would say it all the same if she knew. But she was stressed and needed a way to calm down, so she picked the needle up off the bed and prepared to stick it in her arm. 

Before she got the chance, though, her door flew open and Carla came storming in.

"April, what the hell did you think you were doing running out like that? You could've gotten hurt or…" she trailed off as she saw the needle. She did a double take and stared at her for a long time. April thought she probably should've made some attempt to hide it or move or something, but she was frozen still. Carla kept looking back and forth between April and the needle, not seeming to comprehend what she was seeing, before she finally spoke.

"April, what are you doing?" she finally asked, much more quietly than April thought the situation demanded. She didn't know what to say. "I'm shooting up heroin because our loving mother put me in a stressed out mood and I needed it." Yeah, something told her that wouldn't go over too well.

"Well?!" Carla demanded. April was slightly surprised to see Carla getting mad. Really mad. Like actually angry mad. She had never seen her like this before. "What, are you trying to kill the baby? I know you said you would rather he die than Mom raise him, but did you actually mean that?! How could you be so selfish? How could you do this to your child, even if you don't want him?!"

"Carla, stop. You don't understand…"  
"I don't understand what? Is this what you've been doing while you were gone? God, you turned out worse than I thought you did! I didn't help you at all, did I?"  
"Oh, please, Carla. Don't make this all about you."

"What?"

"Poor you. You didn't raise your sister right. Big deal. You're not the one who has to actually live the mistake. You just stay here with Mom all the time, discussing what a failure that younger daughter is."

"That's not true, April, and you know it."

"I don't even know why I bothered coming here! I knew it was just going to be one long sentence in hell and I was right, so why bother? I'm just going to go home." she threw the needle back down onto the bed and began walking around, picking her clothes up and throwing them back into her suitcase. She didn't care if this meant she had to tell Roger now, she just wanted to get away from this place. She should've told him right from the beginning, anyway.

"No, you're not." Carla said, moving to stand in front of April, blocking her path, "April, you need help, and you're obviously not getting it _there._"

"I'm not getting it _here_, either, Carla."

"I'm changing that. I'm going to go tell Mom right now and we're going tog et you some help. You and the baby, no wonder he's so under-developed. You've been killing him! Do you realize that?" she didn't wait for an answer, just turned around and ran down the stairs.

"Carla! No, don't!" April hurried after her as quickly as she could with the extra weight of the baby. She reached the living room just as Carla was talking to their mom.

"So," she said, turning to April as she entered the room, "You're even worse than I thought you were. How something so bad could be created by the same people who made something so good is beyond me. You are as far from your brother as possible.

"I know that, Mother, because he's dead."

"What did I say to you about back-talking me? You need to learn respect and discipline. Clearly I was too lenient with you when you were living here. I'll have to keep that in mind when I'm raising this baby, in case he inherited your unruly genes. If you haven't already killed him, that is." April opened her mouth to argue about the baby living here when her mom continued, "You are clearly putting not only your life, but the life of your child at risk. So tomorrow your sister and I will drive you to a rehab center. I'm sure they'll be able to take care of the two of you and hopefully the baby can be saved."

"I'm not going anywhere! And you can't make me! I'm going _home_. Tonight. And I'm never coming back here again." She turned around and headed back up to her room to finish packing. She just had her suitcase packed up and was heading back down the stairs, when she ran into Carla.

"April, you can't do this."

"Out of my way Carla." April pushed her way passed Carla and started heading for the front door.

"April, Mom's thinking of calling the police on you now. Why can't you just go without having to make such a scene? We're trying to help you."

"The police can't arrest someone who's not here. And I'll walk home if I have to."  
"April, think of the baby."

"I am. I don't want my baby to be raised by that devil woman and I don't want to stay here for a second longer. Staying here has caused way more stress on the baby than I would have had staying at the loft." She turned to leave and was half-way across the hallway before she collapsed to the ground, grabbing her stomach.

"April!" Carla shouted, running to her side, "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, my stomach just hurts a little." She tried to stand up and continue her walk, but stopped, falling backwards into Carla's arms, moaning slightly.

"Ok, you should probably lie down." Carla helped April limp over to the couch and then lay down, before sprinting into the kitchen. April lay on the couch, clutching her stomach and trying to breathe deeply. She had had smaller pains throughout her pregnancy so far, but she hardly noticed them, especially when she was using. Eventually Carla came running back out to her and dropped to the floor in front of the couch.

"April? Can you hear me?" she asked. April wasn't aware until that moment that she had closed her eyes. She opened them now and looked at Carla, nodding her head slightly. "Ok, I called for an ambulance. I think you might be going into labor."

"What? Labor. No, I can't be going into labor. I'm only 30 weeks along. I have another 10 weeks. The baby's not ready to come out yet."

"Well, I don't think your baby knows that, because he's coming anyway." April groaned and grabbed her stomach again. Carla brushed her hair out of her eyes and stroked her face, trying to calm her down as they waited for the ambulance to arrive.

* * *

April lay on a hospital gurney, trying to breathe correctly as Carla attempted to coach her. Carla was also trying to calm April down, but that was not going to well. 

"I'm only 30 weeks along, Carla! I can't have this baby now! It's not ready!" she moaned, trying to ignore the stabbing pains that kept gripping her abdomen.

"I know, but the doctors said your too far along right now, they can't send you home and they can't stop the pregnancy. You're just going to have to have the baby now." April groaned and grabbed her stomach again.

"I'm not even having the baby now, I'm just laying here in agony. When the hell is the thing just going to come out?"

"You haven't dilated enough yet," Carla said soothingly. She was trying her best to be a good support member, but she felt she was failing miserably. She didn't know the first thing about birth and was freaking out on the inside just as much as April was.

Finally, after a few hours a nurse informed them that April was dilated to 10 cm and was ready to have the baby. They wheeled her down to another room where she was hooked up to a bunch of machines and there were all these doctors and nurses and beeping machines. She didn't like it. It was like some alien operating room.

The next few hours were some of the most painful April had ever been through. No wonder so many women choose not to do this. Carla stayed right by her side the whole time, holding her hand and attempting to soothe her. If April wasn't so irritable, she would've taken note of the fact that this was the most supportive she had ever actually been outwardly toward April.

Finally, the pain stopped and April laid back against her pillows, exhausted. It took her a few moments to realize she wasn't hearing the crying sound that usually occurs when a baby is born. She lifted her head up slightly to look at Carla and to find out what was going on. Carla looked worried. That couldn't be good.

"Carla… What's wrong?" Carla didn't answer her, she just kept staring at something in the room that April couldn't see. "Carla, what happened? What's wrong? Did something happen to the baby? Why can't I hear him crying?"

No one would answer her, but she could hear the doctors all speaking quickly to each other and moving quickly. She tried to figure out what was going on, but no one was telling her anything and she was very tired. So she just fell asleep.

* * *

April woke up several hours later, wondering where she was and how she had gotten there. Looking around she discovered she was in a hospital room. She was hooked up to an IV and a heart monitor and had a breathing tube in her nose. She looked around, wondering what was going on when she noticed something. Her stomach was flat. Why? What happened? Where was the baby? Then she remembered going into early labor and having the baby before passing out. Thank God. This was finally over and now she could go home. She looked up as the door opened and Carla came in, looking worried and disheveled, like she had barely slept and was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 

"Oh, you're awake," she said. She didn't sound very happy about it, but April didn't care. She had the baby now, so she could give him away and go home.

"Hey, Carla. How long have I been here? And when can I go home?" Carla just stared at her morosely.

"Um… April. You've been here for two days. The doctors want to keep you here a little longer for observation…" she trailed off, as if there was more she knew she should say, but she didn't want to say it. April groaned.

"I have to stay here even longer? I want to go home!" she exclaimed.

"Um… April, there's something I have to tell you…" Carla trailed off, not sure how to tell her this.

"What? Did something happened? Am I, like, stuck here for another three weeks or something?"

"No._You're_ fine."

"Then, what's the problem?' she was confused now. She was fine, yet she couldn't go home. What the hell was going on here?

"April… It's about the baby."

"What about the baby?"

"the doctors say he has Infant Respiratory Distress Syndrome."

"What the hell is that?"

"It means he was born before his lungs were fully developed." April continued to stare at her in confusion. "They had to put him on a breathing machine and give him an IV. He's in the ICU right now."

"Ok," April said, continuing to stare at Carla, "So, the baby's not doing well… But why does that mean that I have to stay? I mean, you said I'm fine. Why can't I go home?" Carla stared at April for a long time with an odd look on her face.

"You're joking, right? April your son is dying! And all you care about is whether _you_ can go home or not?" If April thought Carla was angry two days ago, it was nothing compared to this. She was livid. Her face was scarlet and her eyes were wide and she was shouting louder than April thought was possible.

"He's not my baby. He just happens to have my chromosomes," April shot back, "I was giving him up for adoption anyway, it doesn't really matter to me."

"No, April. But it should! Whether you were going to keep him or not is beside the point! He is _your_ son. He is _your_ flesh and blood. _You_ made him and you should care more about the fact that he's about to die!"

She turned around and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind and leaving April to her thoughts.

* * *

Doctors and nurses were in and out of April's room all day. They kept checking the readouts on all the machines around her and marking things on their clipboards. Finally, she was told she could leave the next morning. She had just finished changing into some normal street clothes when Carla came in, visiting April for the first time since the previous day. She was holding two Styrofoam cups. 

"I brought some coffee," she said, holding one out to April.

"Thanks," she said, taking it warily.

"I'm sorry for exploding on you earlier, it's just… I hate seeing you not care about this, April. He's still your son and you should still care at least a little bit."

"How is he?" she asked, taking a sip.

"He's getting a little better, but they're still not sure whether he'll recover or not."

"Can I see him?"

"Uh… I guess so."

They found a doctor who lead them down a white hallway and over to a glass wall. Behind the wall were what looked like glass show cases to April. Each one had a baby in it hooked up to some machines and they all had someone sitting by them, dressed in hospital scrubs and staring in such a sad way they could only be the baby's parents. All the babies, except one, that is. April new immediately which one was hers. She stared at him and stared. She couldn't believe that baby was actually hers. And a small part of her couldn't believe she was standing out here leaving him in there all alone.

"He's really tiny," April said when she could finally speak.

"Yeah," Carla agreed, watching April. April walked over to a chair on the other side of the room and sat down, putting her head in her hands. Carla walked over to her and placed her hand on her shoulder.

"April? Are you ok?"

"No. I'm not," she looked up and Carla saw tears running down her face, "My baby's dying and I'm just sitting out here, doing nothing. Not that there's anything I can do. But it's all my fault anyway! If I had just actually taken care of myself better like you told me to he wouldn't be here." She broke down sobbing again and Carla wrapped hr arms around her, rubbing her back soothingly.

"April, I'm sure he'll be fine."

"How can you know that?" she asked, pulling back so she could look at Carla.

"I don't know that, but I can hope for it." They were quiet for a while before Carla decided to ask, "I thought you didn't want this kid, why do you suddenly care."

April glances over at the window and thought.

"I don't want him… Now. I can't take him now, Carla. You and I both know that. I'd make a terrible mother. I really fucked up this time and I just need to fix everything before I can take a kid. But I still want him to have a chance. To grow up in a happy family with people who will actually care for him and love him. He wouldn't get that with me. Not now, anyway." She stopped her complicated explanation when she noticed her mother walking in.

"So, how is the baby?" she asked Carla, ignoring April completely.

"I don't know. I haven't asked a doctor recently."

"You're almost as useless as that one," she shot at her, indicating April. Then she stalked off to find a doctor. She returned several minutes with a doctor in tow, talking to him in harsh tones. Then she turned to her daughters to address them. "The doctor says that his vitals seem to be getting better and that hopefully he'll be able to leave the hospital sometime this week."

"There may be some potential problems, though," the doctor said, continuing where Margaret had left off. **(A/N: I think that's the first time I've used her name. if it is, I'm sorry. April's mom's name is "Margaret" for future reference. :p)** "He may have some breathing problems, if it seems he's having a hard time breathing you'll have to bring him back. In the meantime," he said, changing tones and pulling out a sheet of paper, "You still haven't name him."

April stared at the doctor. She had completely forgotten you get to name the baby you have. She had no idea what the hell to name him.

"Well, that's obvious. His name is 'Nathan David Ericsson'." That made April look up.

"No," she said, standing up. "It's not." The doctor stopped writing and looked up between the two women.

"What are you talking bout? Of course it is. He is my child now. And that's what. I choose to name him."

"No._I_ am his mother. _I_ will name him." Because it had finally sunk in. Why her mother had let her stay; why she agreed to take the child in only when she found out he would be a boy; and why she had chosen to name him the exact same name as her brother. "He is _not_ your child. He is mine. And he is _not_ your replacement child, either."

"April, that's not what Mom's doing," Carla said, suddenly flustered. It was insane, their mother wouldn't do that. "I'm sure it's just in honor of our brother. Right, mom?"

"Of course," she said, "Why would I take this child as a replacement child. You have a sick mind, girl."

"You are not taking my child," she said fiercely.

"Honestly, April. You need to make up your mind. Either you want the child or you don't. Let me know when you decide." And she turned around and walked down the hallway, presumably to get some more coffee.

"Um…" The doctor was just standing there, holding the clip board that held the baby's birth certificate on it. "What will the child be named, then?" he finally asked.

April thought. As much as she resented her brother's existence after he was gone, she really did love him and was very close to him when he was alive. "Nathan" seemed like a great name for her son, but she was _not_ giving him "David" for a middle name.

"Nathan Roger Ericsson," she finally said after some thinking. She knew it might seem odd to give a baby his father's name as his middle name when the mother plans to give him up, but April had come up with a plan to keep him safe from her mother and, hopefully, have him in her custody one day. She just had to see if Carla would agree. The doctor nodded, writing the name down. He jotted some other things down and asked her to sign it. She did and he walked off back down the hallway.

"You named him 'Nathan' anyway," Carla said, seeming slightly shocked.

"Even if I hate him now, I really loved Nathan. It's a good name," April said. Then she thought. It really didn't seem fair of her to ask this of Carla, but what other choice did she have? "Carla, I need you to do me a _huge_ favor."

"Sure, April. Anything. What do you need?"

"No, you don't understand. I mean this is _huge. Gigantic_. I can't even believe I'm selfish enough to ask this of you."

"April, what do you want me to do?"

"I can't let Mom raise him, Carla, I just can't. But my life is so fucked up right now. He would just end up straight in foster care. I need a nice home for him, where he can grow up safe and happy." Carla stared at her, comprehension dawning on her face.

"April, I don't know if I can…"

"It will only be for a little while. A year or two at the most. Just enough time for me to get my act together. Then I'll come back for him. I just need you to sort of baby-sit him for me. For a few years. Please. You're my last chance. Nathan's last chance." She stared at Carla with her big, blue eyes, trying to convince her to do this for her. She was sure Carla would say "no". Say that there was no way she could take on a child, but she was surprised.

"All right. I'll do it. But only for a few years. I was planning on moving out of Mom's house soon, anyway. I have an apartment picked out and everything. I just never wanted to let her know. I was kind of afraid of her reaction." She smiled sheepishly at April, who just stared at her blankly before smiling widely and throwing herself into Carla's arms.

"Oh my God! Thank you, Carla, thank you so much! I swear, I'll find some way to make this up to you. Thank you so much!"

"It's ok, April. Just try to get better soon, ok. I'm not sure if I can raise a child that well. I didn't do too well the first time."

"I know you can do it, Carla. And just so you know, you didn't really do a bad job the first time. It was my fault. I just wanted to be rebellious because of Mom that I did anything and everything to piss her off. You did a great job. I was just a hopeless cause."

She smiled at Carla before turning around and looking through the glass window at her son. Hopefully, she would be able to get the kind of help she needed and be able to come back to get him in a year or two. At least, she really hoped she could.

* * *

The next day April signed custody over to Carla, so Margaret wouldn't be able to take Nathan back. The doctors said he would be able to leave the hospital by the end of the week, so she knew he would be ok. At any rate, she knew she was leaving him in good hands with Carla. She would take good care of him, April knew she would. 

The day after the adoption papers were signed, Carla began moving into her apartment. The next day, April was gone, heading back to the loft and her old loft. Everyone was surprised at her abrupt return, but they were all so glad to have her back that no one cared about why it took her so long.

But she never ended up talking to Roger, or anyone, about the baby and the time she had spent at her old home. She would receive letters and phone calls occasionally to hear how Nathan was doing and she tried to get better, but in the end she just couldn't do it. She got worse and worse and kept her secret with her for over year until the day she died.

* * *

_I know that ending probably sucks, but I just wanted to be done with this chapter:p And now I am! Hallelujah! Thank the Lord! The next chapter should be up soon. (I'm actually done with it, I was VERY thankful to be finished with those flashbacks I wrote like there was no tomorrow yesterday. :p) So as soon as Steph gets that back to me it'll be up. And then I get to write chapter nine, which I am psyched for, because it's going to be very cute and fun. And probably unbelievably long. :p_


	8. Doubts

_Here's chapter eight. Man, I had a busy week. I spent most of my day yesterday from 6:30 am until 9:30 pm at my old elementary school as an election inspector. Fun. But I got $120, so it's all good. :p_

_Thanx again to Steph _

_Enjoy. :) _

* * *

Carla sipped her soda quietly after she finished retelling to Roger what had happened ruing those months. She felt terrible. In the end, April couldn't over-come her addiction or any of her bad habits and they ended up killing her. And Carla was left alone to raise her one-year-old nephew. 

She tried. She really tried to do well. She tried to be strong and raise him on her own. But after only a month of raising Nathan, knowing that he would be with her until he was an adult, she cracked to the pressure and ended up asking her mother for help. Delighted at being able to see her grandson for the first time since he left the hospital, Margaret agreed if Carla moved closer to her home. So Carla had to uproot her whole life again and move all because of that one little child. And over the next two years she died a little more inside every day until she didn't care about anything anymore and just wanted a way out.

"I'm so sorry, Roger," she said, trying to explain this to him, "I honestly thought April had talked to you. I honestly thought you knew. If I had known… Well, I would have just kept him and done my best. I'm really sorry for bothering you like this. I must have given you one Hell of a scare," she added, laughing slightly, but she had a permanent look of weariness around her that just never went away.

Truth be told, Roger wasn't really paying much attention. He was thinking back to April's funeral. He had been thoroughly depressed (obviously), but now that he thought he remembered seeing Carla there. He hadn't talked to her, he was sure she blamed him for April's death (after all, he did) and was too afraid to. But, thinking back, he realized she had been carrying an infant with her. He had assumed at the time that the baby was Carla's. April's nephew come to say good-bye to the aunt he never knew. But he wasn't. he was April's son come to say good-bye to the mother he never knew. Roger had been ten feet away from his son and he hadn't even known it.

"I'll take him back, if you wish." Roger pulled himself out of his reverie and back to reality at the end of Carla's monologue.

"I'm sorry, what?" he asked. She gave him a slightly annoyed look, but it softened once she remembered what he had been through in the past few days.

"I said I'll take him back. If you don't want to raise him or aren't ready to raise him or whatever, I'll take him back. I'm sure your girlfriend probably isn't too happy with the intrusion of the kid you had with your ex-girlfriend. Especially with the wedding coming up and her own child on the way."

"Actually, Mimi adores Nathan," Roger said slightly defensively. He knew Carla meant no harm in her comment, it just seemed like common sense, but he had a tendency to get over-protective where Mimi was concerned and didn't like anybody thinking anything negative about her. Especially when it wasn't deserved. "But, I think it's probably best for you to take him back."

"Ok. I have some things I have to do, then. I packed a bunch of his stuff up, so I have to go unpack it all. Do you mind him staying one more night? I'll be around your place tomorrow to pick him up."

"Yeah, sure," he said absent-mindedly. So he would be staying with them another night. He was becoming slightly worried about the attachment the others, particularly Mimi, were beginning to feel for him and wondered how another night would affect that. More-so than that, he was becoming slightly worried about his own attachment to the kid.

"Well, I have to go. I have to be over my mother's for dinner every Saturday night and that's tonight. I'll have to think up some excuse as to why Nathan's not with me, though." And with that she stood up, threw some money onto the table to cover her tab, and walked out the door.

Roger sat in his booth, thinking. He still couldn't believe that April had had a kid without telling him. Ever. How could she do that? How could she leave him in the dark about something as major as that for so long? She never mentioned it. Not once. Not even in her suicide note. He shivered and stood up, dropping some bills on the table for his own tab before turning to leave. Last second, though, he turned off to the side to one of the pay phones and put a quarter in to call the loft. Mark picked up after the first ring. That was unusual.

"Hello?"  
"Hey, Mark. It's me."

"Oh. Hi. So, how was the little lunch meeting thing?"

"It was ok. So, how is everything? Was Tricia able to watch Nathan?"

"yeah, she was. Nathan threw the biggest fit you ever saw when Mimi tried to get him down the stairs, though, according to Tricia. She said it sounded like he was being murdered. He just refused to climb down those stairs. That kid has a serious height problem. How are we ever going to get him out of the building?" he added jokingly.

"I don't know. Maybe we'll blind fold him and make him think we're walking him to another part of the loft," Roger answered, laughing slightly, "So, did Mimi ever end up getting him down there?"

"No, Tricia ended up bringing Lizzie and Preston up here. The place was a mess when I came in. She apologized, claiming she had been trying to clean up after them but, and I quote, 'They were just too damn fast.'" He put in a traumatized teenage girl voice and Roger could totally imagine Tricia doing that, standing in the middle of the toy infested loft holding a teddy bear in one hand and a book in the other. The thought made him laugh out loud this time. "I ended up helping her clean up and I swear those kids brought over every toy in their damn apartment." Roger laughed again.

"So, how are things now?"

"They're pretty good. Nathan's very quiet. He's just sitting in the corner, reading that mouse book. Makes me feel kind of useless, I'm just sitting here on the couch, watching the news."

"Mark, you don't have to do that. I know you have a lot of work to do. You can do your work, just make sure Nathan doesn't electrocute himself or anything."

"Ok, if you're sure."

"I'm going to take a walk before I come home, also, so I'll be home in about an hour."

"All right, see you then."

"See you." he hung the phone up and walked out onto the New York streets, his hands embedded deep into his pockets.

He began roaming around New York City absent-mindedly, lost in his thoughts. He still couldn't believe he had a son. Once he had exhausted his surprise he realized there was something else he had to focus on in his thoughts. What he was going to do about it. At first he thought he would just send the kid on his way, back to his aunt where he came from and things could just go back to way they were before. Yeah, right. That could never happen. Mimi would never forget about that little kid. Even if they lived years from now, she would just randomly bring him up and try to stealthy convince Roger that they should take him in.

Even more disconcerting than that was the fact that a part of Roger actually wanted to keep the kid. He really wasn't that bad. Roger had barely spoken to him, really, and had only watched him while in deep thought, but he was still pretty adorable and seemed nice. And, so what if he and Mimi had another kid on the way? That didn't mean that they couldn't take care of this kid, did it? Maybe he and Mimi could actually manage to raise him for a few years. And it's not like they would be alone. They would have Mark and Collins and Jodie, Maureen, Joanne, and Benny. So it's not like they would be all alone in it.

He thought of this as he slowly climbed the stairs to the loft. He still hadn't fully reached a decision on what he was going to do, although he knew he should come up with something since Carla was coming tomorrow, when he reached the door to the loft.

He froze in the doorway and stared. The door was open. Not a lot, just a crack. Like someone hadn't closed it all the way and the wind had blown it open slightly. Not big enough for a person to get through… At least, not an adult. Panic suddenly gripped Roger and he bolted into the loft as fast as he could.

It was empty. Well, not empty. There was still furniture and all their junk and some toys spread out, he could see Nathan's _If You give a Mouse a Cookie_book laying on the couch. But he couldn't see Nathan.

"Nathan!" he called. Maybe he was just hiding somewhere. Roger got no answer, so he walked over to his bedroom. Maybe Nathan had gone in there, hoping Mimi had come home. He wasn't there. Roger was really panicking now. He walked over to Mark's door and knocked, entering when mark gave him permission to do so.

"Mark, where's Nathan?" Roger asked, hoping Mark had a reasonable explanation for why Nathan was not in the loft. Maybe Mimi or Collins had taken him out for something or he might have even been in Mark's room with him, looking at the film he was examining.

"He's out in the living area, reading that mouse book."

"No, he's not." Mark stopped looking at the piece of film he had been examining and looked up at Roger.

"What do you mean 'No, he's not'?"

"I mean, he's not there, Mark. He's gone. He's nowhere in the loft. Did you leave the door open?" He was getting mad now. He knew he shouldn't be mad at Mark. It wasn't like he had left the door open on purpose. And it's not like it was the outside door, anyway. He had just left the sliding door open, (he must have, at least, since there was no way Nathan could've opened that thing on his own) Nathan had opened the outside door by himself. It often blew open by itself, in fact, when the stairwell got drafty, which was why they kept the sliding door shut. But Mark forgot pretty often, and now because of it Nathan was gone.

"Oh my God!" Mark jumped up immediately and ran out into the living area, as if Nathan would magically appear there. "Oh, god. Roger I'm so sorry. I forgot. I just… I can't believe he got out. Where the hell would a three-year-old go in New York City?"  
"I don't know, but we've got to find him. He could get hurt out there." Mark was one step ahead of him. He grabbed his jacket and threw it on, running out the door. Roger heard his frantic footsteps heading down the stairs as he grabbed a pen and paper and wrote a note to Mimi about where they had been in case she got home before they came back. Then he ran out the door, trying to figure out where Nathan could've gone while also trying to repress nightmarish images about what could happen to a three-year-old on the streets of Alphabet City with the sun setting.

He had just reached the bottom of the stairs, preparing to run outside when he skidded to a halt. Mimi couldn't get him down the stairs earlier. And that was when she was offering to carry him. He would never actually walk down the stairs on his own. But what did that mean? Either someone had taken him (unlikely, seeing as he would've kicked up enough racket to alert all occupants of all three floors) or else he had gone up. To the roof. Roger turned around and sprinted up the stairs as fast as his legs would carry him, not bothering to stop when he stumbled a few times.

The roof! Why the hell would he go up on the roof? He could get hurt up there or fall of the edges or… Roger stopped thinking about that and made himself run faster.

He threw the door to the roof open, hearing it bounce backward off the siding and started shouting Nathan's name. Finally, he found him, running a hot wheel car around the roof on one of the ledges.

"Nathan!" Roger called, running over to him. He dropped to his knees, kneeling in front of the boy and grabbed his shoulders, looking him over for any injuries, "What the hell were you thinking?! Why did you come on the roof?! You never come on the roof when you're alone you could've gotten hurt!"

Nathan stared at him with wide eyes, his face as pale as a ghost's. "I'm sowy. I'm sowy. I was bowed. And Mawk was wowking and Mimi wasn't home and I just wanted to pway somewhere, so I came up hewe. Pwease don't hit me!" he got more and more hysterical with each word until tears were streaming down his face.

Roger stared at the kid. Hit him? Roger was never going to hit him. He would never do that. Was that how bad his yelling had been? He knew he had a temper problem, but was it really so bad that he frightened little kids into thinking he was going to hurt them. Roger could only remember feeling this bad about himself once: when his temper had ended up almost destroying his and Mimi's relationship (and leading to her death).

"Nathan," Roger said, softening and trying to calm him down, "I'm not going to hit you, ok. I'm sorry I reacted like that. You just really scared me. I had no idea where you were and you could've gotten hurt. So, will you please promise not to come up onto the roof without an adult again?" Nathan nodded his head slightly, wiping his nose and sniffling. Roger picked him up carefully and held him closely, thankful he was all right, before heading back to the loft. Nathan was so upset from Roger screaming at him he didn't even notice they were heading down the stairs.

As soon as he walked in the door a frantic Mimi with tear marks down her face ran up to him.

"Nathan! Thank God!" she said, running over to Roger and taking Nathan from him, hugging him close to her. Roger just stepped back and watched. No doubt about it, Mimi would make a great mother. "Where the hell was he?" she asked in a hushed tone.

"On the roof," Roger said quietly, still ashamed of how he had acted. Mimi's eyes turned to the size of dinner plates and she set Nathan down on the couch so she could look him in the eye and talk to him.

"Nathan, you never_ever_ go up onto the roof alone. You could have gotten hurt," she said fiercely, but still warmly. She had the disciplining thing down way better than Roger did. Now he was even more ashamed. He walked over to the kitchen area, trying to find something to do. He ended up pulling some frozen dinners out of the freezer to make for him, Mimi, and Nathan. Collins was away until the next afternoon (he had gone with a few buddies from NYU to Maine so they could go sailing on the Atlantic Ocean) and Mark was going over to Jodie's.

"I know. Daddy aweady towd me not to," he said, still sniffling slightly.

"Ok, good," she said, seeming, beginning to gain her cheerful nature back. She sat on the floor and played with his action figures with him.

After getting the dinners in the oven Roger called Jodie's cell phone to let her and Mark know that they had found Nathan and the two could stop looking. He hung the phone up and just leaned against the table, looking over and Mimi and Nathan. The two looked so happy together. It would probably kill Mimi to give him up, but Roger knew there was no way they could raise Nathan here. Especially not after what had happened that afternoon. They just weren't ready to take care of a toddler yet.

* * *

Roger was still thinking about the Nathan situation when Mimi crawled into bed next to him later that nigh, after putting Nathan to bed. She snuggled up to him, laying her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her, still thinking.

"Well, you're quiet," she noted after nearly ten minutes of this odd silence.

"I've been thinking," he said slowly, trying to figure out how best to say this, "About Nathan and…He can't stay, Mimi, he just can't." Mimi lifted her head off of Roger's chest and held her head up with her hand, her elbow resting on her pillow.

"Why not?" she challenged, a glint in her eyes. She was expecting Roger to cave on this. Well, Roger was going to have to prove her wrong. He was adamant about this decision and was not going to give in.

"Mimi, we are not ready for a toddler." He sat up to get a better look at her and she followed his lead.

"Come on, Roger. That's not fair. We're already having a baby…"

"Exactly! We can't take on another kid!"

"So, just because we're having a baby, we can't keep him?"

"He's not a dog, Mimi."

"No, he's your son! And you shouldn't just be throwing him to the curb like this!"

"I'm not. Carla's coming to pick him back up tomorrow."

"You're sending him home with that psycho? Are you insane? Roger, she left him outside, alone, at night, in the middle of friggin' Alphabet City! What the hell is she going to do next? Wash him in the washing machine? Let him play out on the fire escape of her apartment?"

"Nathan's afraid of heights, he wouldn't play on the fire escape."

"That's not the point! Roger, we could take such good care of him. Way better than that woman. Just give it a chance."

"I can't do that Mimi," he said quietly, the shame from his earlier actions was coming back to him and he really didn't want to let Mimi know.

"Why not? Why is it so hard to take in a child-your child-when we're already having a baby?"

"I'm just… I'm not ready to be a father right now, ok? With the baby, we have a few months, I can prepare for it and everything, but if we take him in there's no preparation or anything it's just suddenly we have a kid and I can't deal with that."

"Oh, come on, Roger! You've dealt with much worse."

"Mimi, I can't handle just becoming a father this second."

"Well, guess what? That doesn't matter, because you already are! You've been one for three years! Just because you didn't know it, doesn't mean it didn't happen."

"Mimi, I just can't handle that right now."

"Why not? What's so different between now and six months from now?"

"Because six months from now, when our kid is born it won't be able to run up onto the roof!"

"Is that what this is about?" Mimi asked quietly, shocked.

"I totally freaked out today, Mimi. I got home and I didn't know where he was and I just kept thinking of all these horrible things that could've happened to him… And then when I found him on the roof I just… Snapped… I started screaming at him… He thought I was going to hit him," he ended quietly, partly hoping Mimi wouldn't hear him. But from the look on her face, he guessed she had.

"Did you really get that bad?"

"I don't know. I just lost it on him. I can't handle raising a toddler right now," he said again in a defeated voice and he laid back down.

Mimi stayed sitting up, thinking, as she thought over what he had said. Not so much what he had said, but how he had said it. Not all of it, but the part about not being able to handle a toddler now. He sounded almost regretful. And Mimi realized Roger wanted to keep Nathan just as much as she did, but he was so sure he was going to be a bad father; he was scared. Mimi had to find some way to shake him of that state before Carla came to pick Nathan up tomorrow. She leaned over and kissed Roger on the cheek.

"Roger, if I had been in you position, finding him on the roof instead of having him brought to me down here, I probably would've flipped like you did."

"No, Mimi, you wouldn't have. You'd have flipped. But not as bad as I did," he said quietly and Mimi knew the conversation was over. She laid back down and wrapped her arm around Roger's waist.

"You're going to be a great father, Roger. For what it's worth, I think you already are."

* * *

_I know, sad. But it'll get better. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. It's going to be all cute and filled with cute goodness. :p And if I put everything I want to in it, it looks like it'll be pretty long. (But it's possible that I could be over-estimating things here. :p) So it might be a while before I get it up, but I'll try to make it quick. _


	9. Bonding Time

_I'm so so so so so sorry for the wait. This was a fairly long chapter and I completely forgot last week I had mid-terms. Then this week I hardly got any time to get on the computer. But I got it up eventually. And hopefully the content will make up for it. :)_

_ Enjoy. :) _

* * *

Roger awoke the next morning to find Mimi awake and in the kitchen area, sitting at the metal table and eating cereal with Nathan. They were talking about some other children's television program Nathan liked to watch. Roger was just pouring himself a bowl of cereal when he heard the phone ring.

"Hello?" he said into the receiver, wondering which of their friends called at 9:30 am.

"Hey, Roger. It's me." It was Carla, and she sounded very stressed out.

"Oh. Hi. What's going on?"

"Roger, I know I promised to take Nathan today, but something came up. My boss switched my shifts on me today and by the time it ends I won't be able to get there to pick Nathan up and bring him home. Can you keep him for just one more night? Please. I'm so sorry for doing this, but I just can't make it there right now."

"Uh… Sure, that's fine," he said. What else could he say? She sounded so frazzled and worn out. And it wasn't like there was anything else he could do.

"Oh my God! Thank you so much! I swear I'll be over there, around noon-ish. Bye."

"Bye." he hung up the phone and walked back over to the table.

"Do you work today?" Mimi asked as he sat down in the seat next to Nathan.

"No, it's Sunday. So I have the day off." Thank God. He wasn't sure what they would do with Nathan otherwise. There was no way he was leaving him home with someone else watching him again. Even if it was Mark. Mark was his best friend and he trusted him and everything, but he could not stand five hours of nerv-wracking bar work, wondering the whole time whether Nathan had fallen off the roof or down the stairs.

"Good. So maybe you could get to work cleaning out the spare room," she said, smiling at him. Roger rolled his eyes. They planned to put the baby in the spare room, but that meant having to clean it out. And it was a huge mess. Mimi had been trying to get him to do this since they found out about the pregnancy, but Roger was a notorious slob and procrastinator.

"Mimi, I've got, like, six months. Relax, I'll get around to it." Mimi rolled her own eyes, unable to suppress a smile.

"Besides, I have another commitment." Mimi raised her eyebrows in question, her mouth full of cereal. "Carla can't come today, so Nathan is spending the rest of today and tonight with us again."

"Yay!" Nathan exclaimed, pumping his fists into the air. Mimi laughed in adoration and even Roger had to admit it was cute.

"Wait, so you're going to be spending the whole day with Nathan?" Mimi asked, with a mixed look in her eyes of apprehension and something Roger couldn't quite identify.

"Yes. I have to. I'm not leaving him here alone."

"Oh. Ok." she returned to her cereal, still looking puzzled.

"What, you think I can't take care of a kid for a few hours?" he asked. Despite his show of making his insulted-ness **(A/N: Pretty sure that's not a word, but I can't think of what it should be. :p)**sound fake, Mimi heard the sincerity.

"No. I'm just not sure you want to."

"Mimi, it's only for a few hours, I can handle it."

"Ok," she said as she returned to her cereal, still seeming unsure.

* * *

"Daddy, I'm bowed," Nathan said about an hour after Mimi left. Roger was sitting on the couch, working on a crossword puzzle. He looked around at all the toys Nathan had spread around the loft.

"Why don't you play with one of your toys?" he asked.

"I got bowed wif dem," he said matter-of-factly, staring at Roger with wide, green eyes-eyes he had gotten from Roger. It was slightly eerie.

"Ok," Roger sat up, setting the crossword onto the table and thinking, "What do you want to do?" Nathan just shrugged. Roger thought. What do you do with a three-year-old when he's bored? Roger thought back to when he was a boy and helped Marie, his cook/nanny, raise his younger sister. When she was three (Roger was about ten) she loved to go to the park. She would go down the slide, climb the jungle gym, jump off of it, climb anything and everything within reach, swing. She was one adventurous girl. Little kids loved parks, right?

"What do you say to going to the park?" Roger asked him.

"Yeah! I wuv de pawk!" he exclaimed, his face lighting up with a huge smile.

"Ok, then," Roger said, standing up, "Why don't you put your coat on and we can go." But instead of putting his coat on, Nathan raced around the living area, picking up every single one of his toys and placing them "away" neatly. He didn't put them into his back-pack and duffel bag like he had before, but instead had places in the loft that he now deemed their proper places. He placed his books on one of the side tables, stacking them on top of their magazines and telephone book. He had cleared a space on the bottom of one of the shelves around the room and arranged his cars and action figures so that they were perfectly aligned. Then he grabbed his pajamas that had been thrown onto the floor of the bathroom (in all fairness, by Mimi) in the morning, and placed them in the hamper that was pretty much void of everyone else's clothes, despite that being its use. Then he ran to the door where his shoes were lined up right against the wall next to the door, and sat down pulling them on. Roger stood, stunned, staring at the child. He was un-like any child that had ever lived, Roger was sure of it.

"Daddy, what awe you doing? You can't go to de pawk wifout any shoes on," he said, half-way through pulling on his left Spiderman shoe. Roger shook himself out of his reverie and, smiling slightly, began searching for his own shoes.

When he finally found them both (One was in his bedroom, while the other was under the couch. Don't ask how, they just were.) he found Nathan standing by the door with both shoes and his light Spring jacket on, all ready to go and looking slightly impatient.

"Ok. Let's go," Roger said, pulling on his coat. He grabbed the keys off the table and reached down, grabbing Nathan's hand to lead him out the door. As soon as they got to the top of the stairs, however, Nathan froze.

"I don't wike heights. I'm not going down thewe," he said fearfully and he moved himself so he was standing behind Roger's legs, as if shielding himself from the stairs. Roger just stared at him before remembering Mimi's attempts at getting him down the stairs the day before. Finally, he knelt down in front of Nathan so he was on the same eye level as him. (He had seen Mimi do this and it always seemed to work.)

"Ok, Nathan. You don't like heights, right?" he asked. Nathan nodded his head silently, by now he had stuck his thumb in his mouth and was sucking on it. He seemed to do that whenever he was nervous, "Ok. The problem with that is, we're up high right now. There's no way to get down unless you go down the stairs. And if we don't go down, then we can't go to the park."

"But I want to go to the pawk!" he blurted out, not in a snotty, spoiled little kid way, but in a panicky way. Like he might not get the one thing he's been longing for for months.

"Then we're going to have to go down the stairs," Roger said, trying to make his voice sound reasonable and soft, the way Mimi always did. Nathan just stared at him, thumb in his mouth. Then he turned to look at the stairs and then back at Roger. Roger sighed. He clearly wasn't going to make a decision anytime soon. "I'll tell you what. How about I carry you down the stairs, ok? You can just close your eyes and you won't know how high up you are." Nathan seemed to consider this before taking his thumb out of his mouth so he could stretch both arms up for Roger to pick him up. Smiling at how cute he looked, Roger bent over to pick him up. Nathan immediately wrapped his arms around Roger's neck as tightly as he could, closing his eyes and burying his face in Roger's shoulder, like this was the scariest thing he had ever done in his life. Roger sighed again and began descending the stairs.

* * *

Roger stood around the outside of Heckscher Playground in Central Park, watching Nathan closely as he played in the sand, went down the slide, and ran around doing other normal things young children do on playgrounds. Roger swore he wasn't going to let the kid out of sight for even a second. God forbid he run off and get hit by a car; a feat that would be fairly impossible seeing as this particular playground wasn't near the perimeter of the park. **(A/N: I have never been to Central Park, but I spent, like, over half an hour at least trying to research this playground and came up with sketchy descriptions and one picture. So I'm sorry if my descriptions end up being inaccurate, I'll try to be as vague as possible.)**

Nathan climbed up one of the smaller slides and then sat down before looking around. Once he spotted Roger he smiled and waved. Roger smiled at him and waved back before the boy flung himself down the slide. As soon as he hit the bottom he jumped up and ran around to climb back up and go down again.

"Well, look who's wondering about without his Spanish shadow," a voice sneered from behind him. Roger turned to see who was probably one of the last people he wanted to see ever, much less when he was at the park with his son.

"What do _you_ want, Brad?" he asked with as much contempt as he could manage. **(A/N: For those who haven't read "Did I Ever Tell You?" this is the name I gave to The Man. I gave him a name and the background of Mimi's ex-boyfriend, because it gets very hard to write a story for a character named "The Man" :p Also, he always seemed to be more specific about Mimi, and I wondered why, so I made up a reason. :p)** Brad walked up and stood next to Roger, his hands in his pockets and a smirk on his face.

"You know why I'm here. Same old same old."

"I mean _here_. This is a playground. Selling to the five-year-old junkies?"

"Not exactly. More their parents and siblings. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Slightly." Brad laughed at him cruelly before continuing with his pestering.

"So, what are _you_ doing here? And without the Spanish whore? I thought you two went everywhere together." Roger shot him a very dirty look, trying his hardest not to break his neck right then and there. It didn't seem like the right kind of thing to do in front of his son. When he got no reply, he just continued, "I heard you knocked her up. So what are you doing now, observing the nice, normal parents and trying to pick up tips?"

Just as he was finishing this Nathan came running up to Roger, colliding with his legs and looking up at him with a huge smile on his face. "Daddy! Did you see me? I went down the swide twice!"

"I saw that, nice job," Roger said tensely. He hoped Nathan didn't think he had a problem with him. He just really didn't like Brad being so close to his son.

"Daddy, wiw you push me on the swings pwease?" he asked after he was finished with his slide speech.

"Sure…"

"Who's this?" Brad asked suddenly, "He's not really your son, is he Davis?" He stared down at Nathan, giving him a very odd look that Roger didn't like. Nathan stared back at him with wide eyes and stuck his thumb in his mouth.

"Come on, we'll go swing right now," Roger said, picking Nathan up and turning to leave.

"So, it looks like HIV isn't the only thing that bitch left you with, huh?" Brad said as Roger turned to leave. Roger planned to Ignore him and keep walking when he added, "But I guess that's for the best, huh? I'll bet that whore of yours will be happy to have a replacement when she kills that one." Roger knew he was just trying get a rise out of him, but he couldn't hold all of his anger in anymore. He took a step closer to Brad, still holding onto Nathan, one hand pushing him into his shoulder as far away from Brad as he could get.

"Don't you dare talk about Mimi and April that way," he said in a quiet, deadly voice. He was having a hard time trying to seem menacing to Brad and harmless to Nathan at the same time.

"Why not? Afraid of junior there finding out the truth about his parents?" he sneered back. Roger opened his mouth to respond, but Brad cut him off, "I'd watch what I was saying if I was you. You wouldn't want someone tog et hurt as a direct result, would you?" he sneered, his eyes straying down to Nathan, who now had his face buried in Roger's shoulder.

"You stay away from my family. You stay away from Mimi; from Nathan; from my friends; and stay away from me. You ever go anywhere near any of them and I'll kill you." Roger had been working very hard at containing his anger lately, knowing that he always let it get out of control, but he made an exception in this case. He didn't care if he screamed poisonous, hurtful words at Brad. As far as Roger was concerned, he could shove Brad in front of a moving bus and he wouldn't care. Brad just smirked at him.

"Watch yourself, Davis," he said, before turning around and walking away.

Roger just stood still, watching after him until he was out of sight, before heading for the swings. His first intention was to leave the park. Soon. But then he remembered that Nathan had wanted to swing. So he set the little boy down on one of the swings and he stared up at Roger with wide eyes.

"Daddy, who was dat man?' he asked in a small voice.

"Uh… Don't worry about it. He's just some guy you'll never have to see again."

"Good. I didn't wike him. He was scawy."

Roger smiled at him, and then walked around so he was behind him on the swing, "Ok, hold on tight," he said, grabbing the chains and pulling the swing back slowly.

"Tight_wy_, daddy," Nathan corrected him. Roger froze, surprised, as always, at how unusual this child was.

"Ok, tight_ly_," he said jokingly and he began pushing the swing. It was amazing. In one day Nathan seemed to have completely over-come his fear of heights. After swinging for five minutes at a low height, he began urging Roger to push him higher until he was swinging as high as the swing would allow him. After another fifteen minutes Roger decided to try teaching Nathan how to pump the swing, so he could send it higher without Roger's assistance. After another half hour, Nathan was able to send himself 20 feet into the air without Roger's help, although he still needed help getting started.

"Daddy, I'm hungwy," Nathan said after a while of swinging.

"Ok. What do you want to eat?" Roger asked, scooping the child up off the ground and leaving the playground. Nathan looked around them as Roger carried him down the path, preparing to leave Central Park.

"Daddy! I want to go on that!" he suddenly shouted, pointing over at the carousel. How he noticed it was a ridable mechanism while it was inside a brick structure was beyond Roger. Maybe it was some kind of sixth sense kids had: the ability to detect something fun nearby.

"Ok," he said. Because, honestly, what else could he do? Say "no" and watch Nathan's eyes get all teary and start begging to go on the "cawousew"? No way. Roger wasn't in the mood for a guilt trip. So Roger paid for them to ride and lifted Nathan up onto the backs of one of the horses. Nathan was ecstatic. He was smiling the whole time and once the ride was over begged Roger to ride it again.

"Ok, where to now?" Roger asked as they left the carousel.

"Can we wide the cawousew again?" Nathan asked pitifully.

"Nathan, we just rode it twice," Roger tried to calmly explain.

"Ok. Can we get food now?" he asked, as if it were Roger's fault they weren't currently eating.

"Sure, what do you want?" Roger asked, smiling slightly.

"Hot dogs!" Nathan exclaimed, pointing over at a hot dog vendor. "Gwandma nevew wets me have hot dogs. She says thewe unhealfy. But Aunty Carla and I eat them aww the time."

"Hot dogs it is, then."

So they bought some hot dogs and sat down at a picnic table eating them. Roger liked eating in the park, it was a great place to just sit down and people watch for a while. Roger watched a girl roll by on roller skate, being pulled by her dog and wondered why she would do that. What did she think was going to happen once that dog saw a squirrel somewhere? There were also couples walking around and business people hurrying through the park to grab a quick lunch from one of the vendors.

"Daddy, I'm bowed," Nathan announced after a while. Roger looked over to notice the three-year-old had already eaten his hot dog and was now sitting there, looking bored out of his mind. "Can we go on the cawousew again?"

"We can't. Sorry, buddy, but Mimi wants us to go grocery shopping." Mimi had said that since Roger had pretty much nothing to do that day, he could go buy some things at the store she had been wanting to get, but never had enough time to what-with taking care of Nathan and everything.

"Gwocewy shopping?" Nathan asked, "Gwandma says that's a giwl's job."

" Well, Grandma has clearly never met Mimi," Roger said, standing up. "Tell you what. How about we go pick up the groceries for Mimi and then we can get some ice cream."

"Yeah!" Nathan said, jumping off the bench he was sitting on and immediately running over to Roger, grabbing his hand and trying to forcibly pull him out of the park.

"Whoa, slow down, buddy," Roger laughed, picking him up, "The store closest to the loft is this way." And he began walking in the opposite direction.

* * *

"Does it really matter what brand of graham crackers we get?" Roger asked no one. Mimi had written down a specific brand of graham crackers on her list, but the store was out of that one, so he was debating about buying a different brand. "I mean, they're graham crackers. What's the difference between one brand and another? What do you think, Nathan?" he turned to where he had left the child standing to find he wasn't there. "Nathan?" He felt the small bubbles of panic beginning when he saw the little boy traipse around the corner toward Roger with a bag of Oreos in his hands.

"Daddy, can we get these pwease?" he asked, holding them up. Roger sighed and leaned down on one knee, so he was on eye level with Nathan.

"Nathan, what did I say about running off on your own like that?"

"But I was just in the othew aiswe. I want to get these," he said innocently, holding the cookies up again.

"No, Nathan, we can't. I told you we don't have the money." They had already gone through this with Chips ahoy, E. L. Fudge, Dunkaroos**(A/N: The most amazing child's snack ever created.)** Cookie Crisp, Fruit by the Foot, and broccoli. (He was a weird child.)

"Pwease?" he asked, putting on his cutest little angel face. Roger sighed, trying not to look him in the eyes.

"Ok, make a choice. The Oreos or ice cream." Nathan stood still, looking like he was thinking very hard about the decision, so Roger went back to debating about getting the graham crackers. He turned suddenly when someone called his name. It was Steve, the lead singer in his band, his girlfriend, Melanie hanging off his arm.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, "Don't tell me Mimi's got you doing the shopping now too."

"Yep. That's what happens when you don't work on a Sunday," Roger said, laughing, "Hey, do you guys think Mimi'll be pissed at me if I get a different brand of graham crackers than the one on her list?"

"Well, do they have the kind she wants?" Melanie asked.

"No, they're out."

"Then she shouldn't have a problem with it. She should consider herself lucky. This dumbass wouldn't buy any graham crackers, just skip them." She playfully pulled Steven's hair and he grimaced and the memory of some long-forgotten fight that was really over nothing.

"I said I was sorry," he said pitifully.

"I know," she said, smiling, before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, "So, where is Mimi?"

"She had to work today," Roger said, setting the graham crackers in his cart and heading down the aisle, "Nathan, let's go. We have to get some milk." The little boy gave a jump and then ran towards Roger, leaving the cookies on the floor.

"I decided I want the ice cweam," he said. Roger looked behind him at the cookies he had abandoned in the middle of the floor.

"Nathan, you can't just leave the cookies on the ground like that," Roger pointed out, "You need to put them back on the shelf." So the little boy ran back, picked the cookies up, set them on the nearest shelf, and then ran back to Roger.

"Ok, can we go now? I want to get the ice cweam." Roger started laughing, before walking over to remove the misplaced Oreos. It wasn't until he turned to walk back to his cart that he noticed the weird looks Steve and Melanie were giving him. "What?"

"Who's the kid?" Steve asked, looking at Nathan.

"Oh. That's my son," Roger said, hoping he sounded casual. The looks Steve and Melanie gave him ruined the effect, however. "What?"

"You have a son?" Melanie asked, "How come I've never met him?"

"I never knew you had a son," Steve pointed out.

"Yeah, neither did I," Roger said, looking back at the kid, who was now hanging onto the handle of the cart and looking incredibly impatient. "Look, it's long story and I have to finish this shopping. So I'll tell you about it later, ok?"

"Uh… Ok, sure," Steve said, still staring stunned at Nathan, "This should definitely be interesting." Melanie smacked his arm. "What?"

"Nothing, let's go. Bye, Roger."

"See you guys." He stood there, thinking over what exactly he was going to tell Steve when he did. That he had a kid, but wasn't keeping him? That didn't seem to make much sense to an outsider.  
"Daddy, let's go!" Nathan exclaimed from the cart and Roger turned around to walk back to him.

* * *

"Thank you fow the ice cweam, Daddy," Nathan said an hour later as they sat outside the ice cream shop nearest the loft. Nathan had gotten a chocolate ice cream cone and as was customary with children had more ice cream on his face and shirt than in his mouth. Roger had to work very hard to not laugh at him.

"You're welcome," he said, trying to eat his own chocolate ice cream cone without dripping any ice cream on himself. Nathan Mimi would forgive for being messy, but Roger would never hear the end of how messy he was. They ate in silence for a while before Nathan spoke up.  
"Daddy?"

"Yeah?'  
"Did you wuv Mommy?" Roger almost choked on his ice cream cone. He had never heard Nathan mention April before. Until that moment he wasn't entirely sure Nathan even knew of her existence. He had never met her, after all. More shocking than that, though, was the actual question he had asked. What the hell was Roger supposed to answer? Of course he had loved April, but he was slightly worried about where this might lead. He finally decided to just answer and see what happened.

"Yes. Very much." Nathan nodded and returned to his ice cream cone before speaking again.

"Do you wuv Mimi?"

"Of course." That one was easy enough. A conversation about Mimi had a much smaller chance of getting awkward.

"Mowe than Mommy?" Unless he asked that. Roger honestly had no idea how to answer that. He had never really thought about it before. He knew he loved April and he loved Mimi, but he had never wondered whom he loved more. After all, what did it matter? Either he loved Mimi more and so life continued as normal, or else he loved April more, but she was dead and he couldn't be with her and so life still continued as normal. He didn't want to think about that now, though. And he definitely didn't want to discuss it with his three-year-old.

"I don't know," Roger said, deciding to keep with his truth policy, "I've never really thought about it.

"I do," Nathan declared.

"Nathan, you've never met your mother. So how could you know that?" Roger was happy that Nathan liked Mimi so much, but he didn't think it right that Nathan could dislike April when he had never met her.

"She didn't want me. She just weft me wif Aunty Carla and weft. She didn't wuv me."

"That's not true, Nathan. She loved you very much. She just saw that there was no way she could take care of you very. So she let you live with someone who could. It wasn't because she didn't love you." Roger vaguely wondered why he was trying explain this to a three-year-old.

"I'd wather wive wif my mom. Wike the othew kids at pwe-schoow. They aww got to have a mommy and a daddy. And aww I got was an aunt and a gwandma," he said pitifully, looking at his ice cream. Then he perked up and smiled, "But now I have a daddy, wight?" Roger couldn't bring himself to tell Nathan he was going back to his aunt's the next day, so he just smiled in response.

* * *

"Mimi!" Nathan bolted over to the door as soon as it was open and leaped into Mimi's arms.  
"Nathan!" she shouted in response, imitating his excitement, "Oh my God, you are sticky, she said, pulling back slightly and looking at the chocolate ice cream that had gotten onto her shirt. She shot Roger an inquisitive look.

"I got as much off as I could," Roger said defensively from the floor where he sat in front of an unfinished game of Candy Land. Mimi just smiled at him and set Nathan back onto the ground.

"So, how was your guys' day?" she asked, sitting on the couch and watching them.  
"Gweat!" Nathan shouted before Roger could respond, "Daddy took me to the pawk and I wode the cawousal and we went shopping and I got ice cweam!"

"Wow. Sounds like you had fun."

"It was awesome! And now we'we pwaying Candy Wand." He shot a look at Roger and then ran over to Mimi to whisper in his ear, "But Daddy's not vewy good. He wost evewy game."

"Really?" Mimi asked, giving Roger a humorous look.

"Watch it," he said, glaring at her and she laughed. So she watched as Nathan beat Roger in another five games of Candy Land, trying her hardest not to laugh.

"I'm going to go make some dinner," Roger finally said, standing up and leaving Nathan to play against Mimi, who actually had no better luck at the game than Roger did.

* * *

"Ok, Nathan, time for a bath. You are a mess," Mimi said as he finished cleaning off his plate.

"I'll do it," Roger said, standing up. Mimi gave him a look. "What?"

"Nothing. Are you sure?"  
"Mimi, I think I can give my son a bath. Besides, it's my fault he's dirty in the first place. You just rest on the couch."

"Ok." So Mimi set up his bed and put away the Candy land game she and Nathan had neglected to clean up before dinner.

"Daddy, wiw you wead me 'If You give a Mouse a Cookie'?" Nathan asked as they two walked out of the bathroom, Nathan now clean and in pajamas.

"Nathan, don't you ever get tired of that book?" Roger asked.

"It's my favowite," he insisted.

"Ok." He turned to see Mimi sitting in the chair next to the couch, holding Nathan's book.

"Well, I'm hurt," she said jokingly. Roger laughed.

"Mimi you don't have to put him to bed every night. I'll do it tonight," Roger said, taking the book from her.

"Ok, fine. I know when I'm not wanted," she began walking to her room.

"Mimi! I want you!" Nathan said, running over to her and grabbing her around the legs, "I want you. I just want Daddy to wead to me tonight."

"I know that, Nathan, I was kidding," Mimi said, bending down and hugging him, "I'm sorry."

"It's ok," he said, "Good night."

"Good night." She waved slightly to Roger before going into her room. Nathan ran back over to the couch and sat down next to Roger, leaning against his arm so he could see the pictures.

Roger had forgotten how adorably cute the mouse in that book was. He hadn't even looked at the book since reading it to his sister nearly ten years ago. He finished the book and set it over on the table while Nathan snuggled under his sheet, cuddling his penguin. Roger shut the lights off and headed for his room.

"Daddy!" Nathan called and Roger walked back to him.

"What?"  
"You didn't hug me 'good-night'." he said. Roger smiled and knelt next to the couch to hug him. Nathan wrapped his little arms around Roger's neck and kissed him on the cheek.

"I wuv you, Daddy," he said. Roger froze. Out of everything to do with having a kid, this was, for some reason, the weirdest.

"I love you too, son," he finally said, hugging Nathan tighter before letting the boy fall back onto his pillows. Nathan closed his eyes and was asleep within minutes. Roger stayed kneeling in front of Nathan, watching him. He really was an adorable kid. And he was_Roger's_ kid. So why should someone else raise him? Roger knew he knew absolutely nothing about raising a kid, but he didn't care. He didn't want anyone else raising Nathan. He and Mimi could do it. And, like Mimi had pointed out, they had their friends to help. It shouldn't be too hard. Not any harder than raising a new born, anyway. Finally, he stood up and walked back into his room.

Mimi was lying down, facing the window. Roger slipped into some sweat and climbed into bed, wrapping his arms around her. She shifted slightly so she was closer to him.

"So, how'd it go?" she asked.

"Fine," Roger said, "He _really_ loves that book."

"I know," Mimi laughed.

"So, I was thinking Mark, Collins, and I should get started on clearing that room out tomorrow," Roger said conversationally. Mimi rolled over, so she was laying on her back and could see Roger.

"Why? I thought you've got, like six months," she pointed out mockingly. Roger laughed and shoved her slightly.

"Mimi, Nathan can't sleep on the couch for six months."

It took a few seconds for that to sink in.

"He's staying?" she finally asked, a smile lighting up her face.

"Yeah. Why should someone else raise my kid? Even if I'll only be around for a little while longer." Mimi squealed with joy and threw herself on top of Roger. "Mimi, I can't breathe!"

"Sorry," she rolled off him and laid next to him, "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious."

"This is so awesome. You won't regret it, Roger. I swear."

And for once, Roger was pretty sure he wouldn't either.

* * *

_Wasn't that cute? Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up soon. I don't have it planned to be that long since not much really happens, but like with chapter eight it might become longer. :p  
_


	10. Taken

_I am sooo friggin' tired right now. It's past midnight and I just got back from my Coming Home dance, but I am updating now anyway because I am dedicated:p So, anyway, this chapter ended up being way longer than I originally thought it would be. I thought it might barely make five. It makes almost eight. :p But that should be ok with you guys, more to read. :p_

_ Thank you, once again, to Steph. _

_And now Kaitlyn won't be insane anymore. :p lol_

_Enjoy. :)_

* * *

"He's so cute!" Maureen exclaimed for the fiftieth time. "Joanne, I want one!" 

"I told you, Maureen, we'll think about it," Joanne explained calmly, giving Maureen a look that managed to be exasperate and loving at the same time, "But, remember, kids have to be taken care of. You have to feed them and clean them and care for them and you couldn't keep that goldfish I gave you alive for more than a week."

"That fish was at the end of his rope," Maureen protested.

"He was two days old when I bought him!" Joanne countered.

"He was dying and you know it! Don't try to blame that on me!"

"Mimi, awe Joanne and Moween going to bweak up?" Nathan asked after shuffling over to Mimi who sat on the chair looking over legal documents Joanne had brought over.

"What? Joanne and Maureen?" she set the papers down, looking over at the bickering couple, "Oh, no, Nathan. They're just having a silly little argument. People do that all the time. It keeps a relationship healthy."

"Gwandma says fighting is wong and when people awgue wike that they end up weaving each othew."

"Well, I'm sure that's true for some people, but not all people. Most relationships need an argument here and there. It breaks up the monotony and helps clear the air of all negative emotions. If people kept their emotions bottled up inside all the time they'll eventually explode and that is never good for a relationship."

Nathan stared at her as if she were speaking Greek. "Ok." he said simply, shrugging his shoulders and he went off to play with some blocks Maureen had insisted on buying for the tyke **(A/N: I got sick of using "child" "toddler" and "boy" repeatedly, so I looked up some new ones I could use. This is one of my favs. Isn't it just great:p) **on her and Joanne's way over. Mimi laughed slightly, watching him go.

It had been nearly a week since Roger had agreed to let Nathan stay. He, Mark, and Collins had nearly gotten the spare room completely cleaned out and Mimi, Maureen, and Jodie had planned a date to go shopping for some used furniture for the room (Joanne had agreed to go, however she was much less enthusiastic about the shopping outing.)

Today was the first day Maureen and Joanne could both find time away from their schedules to come meet Nathan. Joanne had taken the liberty of bringing over some legal documents to look over with Mimi and Roger about taking in Nathan. She had said that it shouldn't be a huge problem to get full legal custody since Roger was Nathan's birth father and Carla had just abandoned him on their doorstep. Not very good parenting skills. Not to mention the fact that she couldn't wait to get rid of the kid.

"Oh my God. He thinks we're going to break up over a goldfish," Maureen said, bewildered, "That is so _cute_!" Maureen seemed to find anything and everything about Nathan cute.

"You know what else is cute?" Joanne asked, moving closer to Maureen and slipping an arm around her waist, "You. When you're obsessing over how cute little kids are."

"Aww, Joanne you're getting as cheesy as Roger when he thinks no one but Mimi can hear him," Maureen cooed before accepting Joanne's advances and beginning (and continuing) to make-out with her. Mimi watched them for a few seconds before deciding it was an intrusion of privacy (if such a thing could exist with Maureen) and decided to look back at the documents on the table. She hated all of the stupid legal mumbo jumbo in them. She had only made it not even half-way through her Sophomore year! Mimi wasn't exactly stupid or anything, but she did not understand half the words in these papers. She doubted she could even if she had graduated class valedictorian.

Mimi decided five minutes was enough "couple time" when only one other person remained in the room. (Well, not counting a child playing with blocks on the floor.)

"Hey, Joanne. Can I ask you something?" she said, not even bothering to excuse herself first. God knows Maureen never did that. She was known for shouting out "Save it for the bedroom!" if she felt a couple was becoming too engrossed in their partner. (A most memorable moment had been the year before when she had called Collins and Angel out on this. They had simultaneously looked at Maureen, then each other, shrugged, and stood up, heading for Mark's bedroom without another word. It was an adorable sight. Even Mark admitted. A month later, once he had gotten over two of his best friends getting down and dirty in his bed.)

"Yeah?" she asked, breaking away from Maureen and panting slightly.

"Um… I was wondering… After Roger legally gets Nathan and everything… What will that mean for me?"

"What do you mean?" Joanne looked confused. And with good reason. Mimi knew she hadn't exactly explained herself very well. "It means that you'll have a toddler living here."

"Well, I know that. But what will I actually be to him? Like, if Roger dies, will he just go back to Carla's?"

"I… don't know. It all depends on what the courts decide. And Carla. Like, if Carla doesn't want him you could still get him. Unless that grandmother gets involved. Because blood relatives are usually put ahead of other 'family' members."

"So, if Roger dies, that means I'll lose Nathan too?" Mimi hated thinking about when Roger would eventually leave her. (That was actually more of an "if". Mimi had just as much chance of dying before him as he did of her.) But if it ended up happening… If Roger died before her and then Mimi lost Nathan… She wasn't sure she could handle that. Nathan would be all she had. Well, except for the baby. But she wasn't entirely sure about that, either. What if something went wrong with the pregnancy? What if the baby had HIV as well and died shortly after being born? There were a million things that could go wrong. And then Mimi would be all alone. Again. She hated the feeling.

"It's possible," see said delicately, "But it's also possible that he'll be able to stay with you. Courts must take into account what's best for the child and he would obviously rather stay with you than anyone else." Mimi appreciated her efforts, but they weren't helping very much.

"But, when Roger and I get married I'll be his step-mother. Won't that count for anything?"  
"It depends on how you go about it. Like, if you just get married it's still possible that other relatives could claim Nathan if Roger died. But if you adopted Nathan, then your parental rights would be slightly higher. It wouldn't be impossible for Nathan to be taken away, but it would be more difficult. Especially if Roger leaves a will stating you as Nathan's legal guardian."

"Do you think we should do that?"

"I don't know. That's something you and Roger should talk about."

It was clear the subject was becoming slightly uncomfortable for Joanne so Mimi picked up one of the documents under the pretense of reading it when really she was just thinking.

Mimi loved Nathan. He was so adorable and smart and just wonderful. If she ever had one, Mimi wanted her son to be just like Nathan. More specifically she wanted Nathan to be her son. Step-son was fine, but she really wanted him to be her own. She wanted to be his mother.

But could she do that? It didn't seem right somehow. Like she was trying to replace April. Not that April had been much of a mother to Nathan anyway, but it still would seem that way to others. And how would Roger feel? Would he think that? Would he see Nathan as someone Mimi viewed as a sort of threat because of his connection to April, and so she wanted to get rid of it? Because that is certainly _not_ how she felt at all. She just really wanted to officially be Nathan's mother. He already felt like hr own son, so why couldn't she do that? She would have to talk it over with Roger when he got home.

A knock on the door jolted Mimi from her thoughts. She stood up, tossing her prop onto the table before answering the door, wondering who they knew that would actually knock on the door instead of letting themselves in. She pulled the door open to reveal a man in a suit carrying a brief case. Mimi wondered if he was in the right building. Or side of town.

"Hi. Can I help you?" she asked, sounding confused. She could sense Maureen trying to see past her to see who was at the door.

"I'm looking for Roger Davis," the man said stiffly. Mimi could tell right off the bat that this was one of those stuffy, boring business men. The kind that didn't give a damn about anyone but themselves and their money. The kind that she often came across in her previous line of work. Talking to this man made Mimi even happier she had quit that job and moved onto witnessing. **(A/N: I just realized I don't think I ever actually explained that, did I:p Sorry. But, honestly, her old job earned her a stalker. I think it was time to quit. :p)**

"He's not here, he's at work." Mimi folded her arms across her chest, prepared to fight this man tooth and nail for whatever the hell he wanted to pin on Roger. Because it was clear that this man was not here for anything positive regarding Roger.

"Do you know when he'll be back?" the man asked, sounding irritated. Well, he wasn't the only one.

"In about two hours," Mimi replied coldly, matching his irritated tone. "What is this about?"

"My name is Oscar Ames. I'm here in regards to a child that was left in his care. Nathan Ericsson." Mimi felt her heart stop and heard Joanne and Maureen stand up to walk over and join her at the door.

"What about him?" Mimi asked, not sounding nearly as intimidating as she had a few seconds before.

"I'm come to take him back to his grandmother's."

"No! he doesn't want to go with you! Besides, he never lived with his grandmother. He lived with his aunt, and she left him alone on our doorstep, so there's no way you're taking him back to _her_ either."

"That's not for you to decide, ma'm," he said and he pushed his way past her and into the loft.

"Hey! You can't just burst in here like this. Get out!" Mimi stormed into the living area after him, where Nathan still sat in the center of the floor, building what appeared to be an old Medeival-style castle. That child never failed to amaze Mimi, even now.

"Nathan?" the man said, no less coldly, staring down at the child. Nathan stared up and his eyes immediately expanded. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and seemed to shrink into the floor. Mimi ran over to him and snatched him up into her arms, holding him away from the man.

"Go away! You can't just come in here like this and take him away!" Mimi shouted at him.

"Actually, I can," he said, opening his brief case up and pulling out a piece of paper to hand to Mimi. Joanne took it and read it over.

"What is it?" Mimi asked, fearing the answer.

"It's a court order for Nathan to be returned to his grandmother."

"But he doesn't live with his grandmother."

"He does now," Oscar injected, before Joanne could respond, "Miss Ericsson signed over custody of him to her mother. So he now belongs with her."  
"But April left him with her sister. Why would she sign him over to her mother?"

"I meant Carla Ericsson," he said, sounding more and more impatient with each word, "She signed over custody of him three days ago."

"But he wasn't her son! She can't do that!"

"April Ericsson signed over custody of him to Carla Ericsson three years ago. So, she can."

Mimi looked over at Joanne, the lawyer of the group, hoping for some help.

"Mimi, I'm sorry. But there's nothing we can do. Legally, we're stuck," she said, looking crestfallen. She walked closer to Mimi so she could speak to her more quietly, "We can't do anything now. But we can get him back. The best thing to do for now is to just hand him over for now." Mimi opened her mouth to argue, but Joanne cut her off, "Mimi, listen to me. There is nothing else we can do right now. Just let him go to his grandmother's and we'll get him back. Unless you want this man to get you arrested."

It was the last thing Mimi wanted to do, but Joanne was right. There was nothing else they could do. Now. But they would get him, Mimi would make sure of that. But it didn't seem fair that Roger didn't even get to be home to say good-bye.

"Can I say good-bye?" Mimi asked the man. He looked thoroughly annoyed by this, but Mimi didn't care. He nodded and Mimi set Nathan down on the couch to talk to him, away from Oscar. Out of the corner of eyes she saw Joanne and Maureen packing up all the belongings of Nathan they could find and placing them in his suitcase and backpack.

"Nathan," she tried starting, but he interrupted her.

"Mimi, who is dat man?" he asked. His thumb was still in his mouth, so it was hard to fully understand him.

"Um… Nathan… That man is here to take you to your grandma's." Nathan's eyes immediately expanded even more.

"Why?" he asked pitifully, "You don't want me anymowe?"

"No! No, Nathan. We want you. We want you very badly. But you have to go to your grandma's for a little while."

"But I don't want to go to Gwandma's," he said, tears forming in his eyes, his voice getting more pitiful by the second, "I want to stay hewe wif you and Daddy."

"I know, sweetie. But it's only for a little while. We'll bring you back, I swear we will."

"But why do I hafta go at aww?" Tears were now streaming down his face and Mimi was finding it hard to hold back her own.

"It's… complicated, Nathan. But it won't be for long." Maureen and Joanne had him all packed up and had passed his bags to Oscar, who was now holding them.

"Come on, Nathan. Put your shoes on and let's go. I have other things to do today," Oscar said, sounding less like a lawyer involved in a sensitive child custody issue and more like an army general. Mimi saw Joanne shoot him a dirty look that was so fierce and venomous that if Mimi had gotten it, she would've run in the opposite direction.

"No! I don't want to go!" he cried, jumping off the couch and running into Mimi and Roger's room. Mimi closed her eyes for a few seconds, before grabbing his jacket and walking into the room to get it on him.

Nathan had never once thrown a tantrum before. He had never contradicted Mimi or Roger or anyone else when they told him to do something. He just did it. Even now he wasn't really throwing a tantrum. Had Mimi been in his position she would've kicked her feet to prevent her from putting the shoes on and would've squirmed around and run away a lot, making it as difficult for her as possible. But not Nathan. He was just crying a pleading with Mimi not to make him go.

Mimi stood up and grabbed Nathan's hand, leading him into the living area, his thumb still in his mouth. Oscar handed him his backpack and he silently put it on before placing his thumb back into his mouth. He took everything quietly enough until Mimi passed his hand to Oscar. Then the actual reality of the situation seemed to fully sink in and panic began to take over.

"No! I don't want to go to Gwandma's!" he shouted, wrenching his hand out of Oscar's grip and throwing himself at Mimi. He threw his arms around Mimi's legs and clung there as if his life depended on it. Oscar sighed exasperatedly and walked over to Nathan. He ripped Nathan away from Mimi and picked him up, walking for the door.

"No! I don't want to go! Mimi don't make me weave! Pwease! I'w be good! I pwomise! I'w cwean up aww my toys and I won't ask to hewp wif the cooking and I won't go on the woof! Pwease don't make me weave!"

It was all Mimi could do to keep from crying right there where Nathan could see her. Oscar finally walked out the door, shutting it behind him, but they could still hear Nathan's screams and pleas coming from the stair well. Mimi immediately collapsed onto the couch, sobbing uncontrollably.

* * *

As soon as Roger walked into the loft he knew something was wrong. For one thing, it looked too empty, but he wasn't sure how that could mean something was wrong. For another, Mimi was sitting on the couch sobbing while Maureen and Joanne tried to comfort her. 

"Mimi, what's wrong?" he asked warily, walking over to sit by her. It was then that he noticed someone was missing. "where's Nathan?" That just made Mimi sob even harder.

"A lawyer came by earlier," Joanne said solemnly, an arm still around Mimi's shoulders, "And took Nathan away."

"What? Why?" Roger couldn't believe this. Why would someone take Nathan away from them? What had they done wrong?

"Apparently April had signed custody over to Carla. And three days ago Carla signed custody over to her mother."

"I can't believe the bitch!" Maureen exclaimed. Mimi and Joanne were actually slightly surprised at her. She hadn't said a single insult or gone into any rants since Oscar left with Nathan. She had just tried to soothe and comfort Mimi, to no avail. Btu apparently she couldn't keep quiet any longer. "I mean, first she just dumps Nathan off here and she doesn't even tell you she as full legal custody of the kid. Then once it's decided that he's going to stay here she signs him off to her bitch of a mother! I've hear stories from April and there is no way she should be allowed near any child of any kind!"

Roger, who had seen a glimpse of the wreck Carla had become and also knew the stories Maureen had mentioned (and then some), wasn't so sure Carla actually had much to do with Margaret suddenly getting custody of Nathan. One thing was for sure, though, there was no way in Hell he was letting that bitch raise his son.

"Is there anything we can do?" he asked, sounding distant, even to himself. He was still in shock at the fact that he had just seen Nathan this morning, laughing at that weird show with the dust bunnies. Roger had even hugged him before having to run out the door. And now he was gone. Roger decided to stop thinking about that, he felt himself starting to cry and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

"We could file a lawsuit against Margaret for custody," Joanne said, "I'll go file those papers right now." She went to get up, but then looked down at Mimi.

"I'll be fine," she said, sniffling, "Just go help us get Nathan back."

"Don't worry, sweetie," Joanne soothed, hugging Mimi, "I'm sure you'll get him back. Roger's his father, after all, and courts tend to side with birth parents over other relatives."

"Yeah. And if they don't I'll make them," Maureen added. Mimi let out a chokey laugh and hugged Maureen as well. Maureen and Joanne left, leaving just Roger and Mimi alone in the loft.

It had never sounded so quiet before.

Roger walked around, absent-mindedly tidying things up to have something to do.

"Roger, I'm sure they're right," Mimi said once she trusted herself to talk again, "Anyone who's seen you with Nathan would know he belongs with you. You're his father."

Roger just nodded, before continuing to wonder through the loft. He stopped when he noticed a book on the ground, lying under the chair. He bent down and picked it up. It was _If You Give a Mouse a Cookie_. Nathan's favorite. Roger couldn't help it anymore. He collapsed onto the couch, tears streaming down his face. Mimi crawled over to him and wrapped her arms around him, leaning her head on his shoulder and crying with him.

* * *

Roger had never been tot his part of new York before. It had houses. And yards. With actual grass. Roger hadn't seen a house with actual yards and grass since his own home. He missed the yard and the grass, but seeing as he was escaping some things that were much worse, he dealt. 

Roger looked at the house in front of him. It wasn't very big, but was still the most intimidating building he had ever seen. It had two stories, a small garden out front, and even a white picket fence. Seriously. He took a deep breath and walked up the sidewalk to the door. He rang the doorbell and heard some clattering before the door open. The woman who opened the door just stared at him in disbelief.

"Hello, Carla," Roger said, unable to hold all traces of contempt from his voice.

"Roger? What the _hell_ are you doing here?" she asked in a whisper. Roger didn't get a chance to answer before another woman came to the door. She looked older, but shared the same red hair Roger saw on April, Carla, and Nathan.

"Carla, go finish cleaning the dishes," she said coldly before turning back to Roger, "So, who the hell are you?"

She was as big a bitch as Roger imagined her to be. Possibly worse, although Roger's opinion of her had definitely dropped three days after her stunt with that lawyer. Before he could respond, however, she seemed to figure it out. "Oh. You the guy that knocked my whore of a daughter up?" Roger had to use all his self-control to not punch the woman. It wouldn't look good in court if Roger physically assaulted the other person. Again she went on without waiting for a response. "What the hell do you want?"

"I want my son back," Roger said as calmly as he could manage. Margaret laughed at him.

"You? Take care of a kid? Please. If you wanted him so badly, why didn't you take him three years ago?" No time for response. "My whore of a daughter just left him with my older one and she couldn't take the pressure. She moved back in with me after not even a month. _I'm_ the one who raised. _I'm_ the one who taught him his values and manners. _I'm_ the one who was always left to take care of him whenever he had some problem like a skinned knee or a fever." Well, at least now Roger knew where Nathan had learned to act like a military soldier rather than a three-year-old kid. "And where were you? Across town with my useless daughter, getting high and doing God knows what else. That boy is _my_ child, not yours. And if you think I'm giving him up to you, you are crazy."

"He doesn't want to live with you," Roger argued quietly. Margaret snorted.

"Of course he says that _now_. The time he spent with you was completely useless. He now thinks he can watch what he wants, do what he wants, say what he wants. You and that bitch you live with have no idea how to properly raise a child. It'll take me weeks to reverse the damage you've done. This morning he asked me if he could help me make breakfast _and_ he didn't put his toys away when he finished with them. _That's_ how you choose to raise a child?"

"You mean like they're a child and not some little slave? Yeah."

"You've got a lot of nerve criticizing the way I raise my child," she said her voice growing deadly quiet.

"He's not your child!" Roger exclaimed, "Whether you raise him or not. If you call the psychotic shit you do 'raising'."

"Get out!" she yelled, finally snapping, "Get out of my house and don't ever come back here! I'll be rotting in my grave before you ever lay a hand on that child."

But before she could slam the door shut Roger pulled out the envelope Joanne had told him to give her. It was her summons to court for the custody hearing Joanne had set up. Joanne had said it would be best if she did this, but Roger wanted to talk to Margaret himself. He was slightly hoping he might be able to convince her to just give Nathan back so he wouldn't have to go through the trial and everything. When Maureen was five she said her own parents' custody hearing after their divorce had been pretty painful to endure. But it looked like that wasn't an option now, so he gave her the envelope.

"What the hell is this" she spat, snatching the envelope from him. She opened it quickly and read it before turning back to glare at him. "You're taking me to court?" she laughed, "And you actually think you'll win? There's no way in hell."

"I guess we'll see that next Saturday," he said coldly.

"I hope you're used to disappointments," she spat before slamming the door.

Roger turned and walked back down the sidewalk, heading for home. On the way he thought. Was she right? Would Nathan be better off if she raised him? She could definitely give him more than Roger ever could. Yeah. Like need for therapy. All Roger had to do was pick any one story April had told him about her home to know that that was no place for a child.

He just hoped the courts would agree.

* * *

_I know, that was sad. But it'll get better. I'll try to update soon. Good news is next week (meaning after this next set of five school days) I have mid-Winter Break, so I'll have more time to write. :) So hopefully the updates will go quicker by then and I can finish this story by the end of my break. _


	11. Margaret's Side

_Ok, I intended to write the whole court case scenes in one chapter. but this is Margaret's side in the courtroom and it's 9 pages long. So I'm just going to split it up and add another chapter. :p_

_I need to get this up tonight or else I'm late, so there was no beta-reader this time and there may be some small mistakes. Sorry in advance. _

_Btw, I know that this seems really random and everything. But who is "phantomviola"? This person left two reviews for this story and was way overly-happy that Kaitlyn had made another appearance. Do I, like, know you in real life? Or do you just like Kaitlyn's character:p Because Kaitlyn and I were kind of confused by your enthusiasm to her character's reappearance. :p  
_

_Enjoy. :)_

* * *

"How do I look?" Mimi asked. She was wearing a plain, black skirt and a dark blue dress shirt. **(A/N: For the shirt think "pretty shirt Mimi wears during 'Without You' when she visits Angel in the hospital. (The dark one, not the light blue one she wears over the pink striped shirt." Wow. That was a long thought. :p)** She hoped she looked classy and responsible. The kind of woman a judge would allow a child to live with.

"Beautiful, as always," Roger said. Despite the smile he wore when he said it, Mimi detected an absence of his usual flirtatiousness and the smile seemed wane. Roger was wearing the only dress pants and shirt he owned. **(A/N: "Take Me or Leave Me")**

Mimi sighed and held her hand out for Roger to take. "Then let's go." And they left the loft, hopefully they would return with another person.

* * *

"May 24, 1997, the custody trial of Nathan Ericsson. The time is 10:00 am," the court reporter read off. Judge McCoy nodded to her and she went back to her type write, preparing to document the rest of the trial. **(A/N: Yes, I know McCoy is the ADA in Law and Order and not a judge. But he is AMAZING. I love him SO much. I will never need a name for an ADA character in any of my stories and I needed a judge name, so it stays. :p) **He picked up one of the pieces of paper in front of him and read it over quickly before looking back up.

"Roger Davis, you are suing for custody of the child, correct?" the judge asked in a detached voice. Roger, though he would never admit it, was slightly intimidated by the guy and knew he was not someone to mess with. But that might just have been because this was the man who would ultimately decide whether he kept his son or not.

"Yes, your honor," Roger said, hoping he had spoken loudly enough for the judge to hear. No matter how much water he drank, his throat remained as dry as the Sahara.

"And you are the child's birth father, correct?"

"Yes, your honor." The judge nodded before making a note on his paper.

"You may sit down." Roger sat down, feeling relieved.

"Margaret Ericsson," the judge said and Margaret stood up, looking as strict and frightening as ever, "You have custody of the child now, correct?"  
"Yes, I have raised him practically since birth."

"I didn't ask for your life's history, Mrs. Ericsson, just answer the question." Roger forced himself not to smile. Joanne had warned him of this. She had dealt with this judge before and had warned Roger ahead of time that he was tough, but fair. One of the tips she gave him was to answer only the questions he was asked, McCoy didn't like extra words and stories added into an answer when a simple "yes" or "no" would suffice.

Maureen was not as practiced as Roger, however, and began giggling quietly. After a look from Joanne, however, she stopped. Roger was pleased, and mildly surprised, at how many of his friends had shown up to support him. Mark, Collins, Jodie, Maureen, and Benny had all shown up, of course, but others came that Roger wasn't expecting. Steve and Melanie were there, as well as the rest of Roger's band. Two days before Nathan had been taken away Roger had let him tag along to one of his band practices (accompanied by Mimi to ensure he didn't wonder off and get hurt) and they all instantly liked him. All of the Abramoviches/ Carsons were there as well. Even Lizzie and Preston. Keisha and Mariah, girls Mimi used to work with, were there too, as well as some of their usual friends from the Life. Roger was especially shocked to see Kaitlyn there. Mimi had had another of her ultra sounds a few days ago and the two were quickly becoming very good friends.

"Sorry, sir. Yes." She looked slightly miffed about the response she had gotten from the judge. And it was only five minutes into the trial.

"And you are his maternal grandmother, correct?"

"Yes, your honor." He nodded, writing something down again.

"You may sit down." She sat down, "All right, Mr. Ames, you may call your first witness up." Oscar stood up and straightened his suit, looking very stuck-up.

"I would first like to call Mrs. Margaret Ericsson to the stand," he said haughtily. Everyone turned to watch Margaret stand up and walk down to the stand. She had a much larger group of people surrounding her, and they all looked very unpleasant. All but two. Directly behind where Margaret was seated with her lawyer was Carla. She looked very nervous and was holding Nathan, who looked bored and morose. Roger felt someone poke him in the back and he turned around to see Mimi's whitened face.

"Roger…Is that… Is that Todd's parents?" she shot a look back over to Margaret's side of the courtroom and Roger turned to see whom she was looking at. He saw an older couple sitting near the back, both with white-blond hair. There was no doubting the couple Roger and Mimi had spent days in court with. They were determined to send Mimi to jail for murder. What the hell were they doing here? Roger didn't want to frighten Mimi, though, so he just responded with "I'm not sure. But why would they be here?"

Mimi looked slightly comforted, but not entirely convinced.

"Mrs. Ericsson, please explain your relationship to the child," Oscar said. Roger really hated the way these people kept referring to Nathan as "the child" it made him sound un-human; as if he were just some object two school children were arguing over whom it belonged to.

"I am his grandmother on his mother's side," she responded, as if this made her better than anybody else in the world. Because everyone knows grandmothers are much higher up on the family scale than parents.

"And Nathan lives with you, correct?"

"Yes. He has lived with me since he was about a month old.

"Why is that?"

"His aunt felt she couldn't handle him by herself."

"His aunt?" Oscar asked, as if he were confused by this and had no idea of the situation and hadn't planned this all out with his client. Roger wanted to smack him. "Why didn't he live with his parents?"

"Because they weren't fit to _be_ his parents. His mother, April, showed up on my doorstep four years ago. She was distraught and pregnant **(A/N: lol to anyone who reads Lemony Snicket. :p)** and wanted my help. At the time my eldest daughter, Carla, was living with me, but she was preparing to move out."

"And, what did April say to you?"

"She explained how her druggie boyfriend had gotten her pregnant and didn't want the baby, so she came to me and wanted my advice on what to do."

Roger bit his tongue to stop himself from arguing that point. Joann told him to just let everything the other side said go. He would get his chance to speak when he was on the stand. Until then there was nothing he could do about what came out of everyone else's mouths.

"And what did you tell her to do?"

"I told her she should stay with Carla and me and have the baby. She wanted to give the baby up for adoption. Send him off to live with some family of strangers or let God knows whatever else happen to him."

"What did you say to that?"

"I told her absolutely not. That was my future grandbaby she had and I was not going to just let her throw him away like some piece of used trash. I had already lost my son years earlier, there was no way I was letting her throw away my grandson."

"Your son? What happened to him?"

"He died in a car accident about thirteen years ago. It really tore our family up. My husband eventually left and the girls got weird after that. Carla became quiet and reserved and April started acting out." She sighed for dramatic effect before continuing with her pity story. Or, at least, she would have if Joanne hadn't interrupted.

"Objection! Your honor, what does this have to do with this trial?"

"I agree, Mr. Ames. I don't wish to hear of your client's family history, no matter how upsetting it may be. Please stick to what we are here for."

"I'm sorry, your honor." Although, he looked deeply inconvenienced. He took a breath and then continued with his questioning, "So, why did your eldest daughter take the child in?"

"April didn't trust me. She was very close with my son and named Nathan after him. She always blamed me for his death, I know it. She didn't want to give me a chance at repeating that. So she instead signed over her custody rights to Carla. So there was my twenty-four-year-old daughter, freshly moved out of her childhood home for the first time and raising a newborn. Naturally, she was back to me within a month and I did my best to help her raise him."

"And how did you do that?"

"I watched him while she was at work; I fed him; I dressed him in the mornings and put him to bed at night; I taught him things he would need for life. The real stuff, like values and proper behavior."

"What did Carla do?"

"She would sometimes play games with him and put him to bed when she wanted to give me a break."

"It sounds to me as if you were the one raising him."

"I pretty much was."

"What did April do?"

"She went back to her druggie boyfriend and we never heard from her again. Unless you count about a year and half later when we were informed that she had killed herself."

"Where was the father during all of this?"

"With my daughter, of course. He wanted that baby as little as April did, probably less." Roger could taste blood in his mouth and released his teeth slightly.

"How were things with Nathan? Was there ever any trouble or anything?"  
"Oh, no. Nathan's a perfectly behevaed boy. And so smart. He's very articulate. Except for the occasional speech impediments that come with being so young, he could practically have an adult conversation with you." Roger had to agree with her there, but there was something about the way she had said it that made the hairs on the back of Roger's neck stand on end. As normal as Nathan's so-far childhood had seemed, Roger sensed that there was something not quite right about it.

"So, how did Nathan end up with Roger?"

"That was my careless daughter. I wouldn't say she really hated Nathan, but she certainly resented him. And no wonder, with her sister just abandoning them like that. She just wasn't ready for the responsibility and yet April threw it at her, knowing she would do anything for her baby sister. So as soon as she found out where his father lived she waited until I was leaving town to visit some friends and she packed the boy off and sent him away."

"What did you think about that?"

"I was crushed, of course. That little boy is pretty much all I have. Carla is hardly ever actually around and when she is she's just… gone. And then she just gave away the only thing that still brought me some joy. I demanded to know where he was, but she wouldn't tell me. After a few days, though, I finally got it out of her. She was sick of the responsibility the child forced on her and so I suggested she sign custody of the child over to me. Then she wouldn't have to deal with him anymore and I would have him back."

"So, everything went back to normal. For the most part, correct?"

"Well, mostly."

"What changed?"

"Well, Nathan was a much more unruly child now. There was no discipline or guidelines when lived with his father, so he came back to live with me and thought the same circumstances applied. He wouldn't wake up or go to bed when I told him to. He wouldn't clean his toys up and wanted to watch more TV than he as allowed to and was constantly breaking all of the rules I had spent three years raising him with."  
"And is this a problem?"

"While, it's slightly inconveniencing, but I'm sure I can get him under control again. Even if I can't, though, I would still want him to stay. He's my grandson and I love him and want what's best for him."

"And, in your opinion, what do you think his best for him?"  
"To live with me, of course. I'm who he's been around his entire life. He knows me and trusts me and I love him and can provide a much better home for him that his father can. I mean, they live in an industrial loft in Alphabet City. What kind of a place is that to raise a child? I, on the other hand live in an actual house with a yard and separate rooms. A much better environment for raising a child in."

"Thank you, Mrs. Ericsson," Oscar said and she stepped down, returning to her seat with an evil smirk on her face. There weren't many women Roger had come across in his life whom he wanted to smack across the face, but boy did that bitch make the list.

The witnesses continued on, mostly just friends of Maragret's who attested to Margaret's character and how good of a motherly figure she had been to Nathan. Roger felt slightly intimidated by the number of people she had, but Joanne had told him ahead of time not to worry about that. It didn't matter how many people spoke for you, but what they said. And what these people all said were the same things, so Roger wasn't too worried.

"All right, Mr. Ames, you may call your next witness up," Mr. McCoy said two and a half hours later, "And I really hope this isn't going to be the same testimony from a different person again." Roger couldn't hide the grin that spread across his face at discovering the judge saw right through the ridiculous witnesses as well.

"I assure you, your honor, this witness will be quite different from the others. I would like Nathan Ericsson to come up to the stand please." He said it like he was trying to be soothing to the small child, but he balked all the same. Carla picked him up and carried him up to the stand, setting him down in the seat. He was so short he couldn't reach the microphone.

"Do we have a booster seat the child could sit on?" Judge McCoy asked one of the guards. He nodded and left, returning a few moments later with a booster seat so Nathan could actually reached the microphone and the entire courtroom could now see him.

Once he saw all of the people staring at him, Nathan shrunk back in his seat and stuck his thumb in his mouth. Roger noticed Oscar change his body positioning so he was standing in between Roger and Nathan; Roger couldn't see him anymore. It was a few moments before Roger realized this was so _Nathan_ couldn't see _him_. It wouldn't do their case very well if Nathan saw him and reacted with more joy than he had shown the rest of the day.

"Nathan, you live with your grandmother, correct?" Oscar asked. He attempted to adopt a more soothing voice again, but he was not good at it at all. In fact, he seemed even more frightening in the tone he was using now. Nathan nodded his head, his thumb still in his mouth and his eyes the side of saucers.

"Please speak into the microphone, so we can hear you," Judge McCoy said, managing a soothing voice better than Oscar had. Nathan nodded and leaned up towards the microphone, taking his thumb out of his mouth.

"Yes," he said quickly, before falling back into his seat and sticking his thumb back in his mouth. Oscar looked slightly annoyed at the difficulties his witness was giving him, but continued, anyway, acting as if it didn't bother him.

"And how do you like things there?" Nathan just sat there, looking as if he were thinking over his answer very carefully. I shot a look in Margaret's direction before speaking into the microphone.

"It's ok."

"Is your grandmother kind to you? Does she feed you and put you to bed and do things like that?"

"Yes."

"Are you happy there?" Like before, Nathan seemed to take a really long time thinking over his answer. And, also like before, he shot a look at Margaret before answering.

"Yes."

"Could you imagine living anywhere else?" Nathan took a long time again in deciding how to answer.

"I wiked wiving wif my daddy," he finally said in a very small voice. Almost as if he were afraid to admit it.

"Your daddy?" Oscar asked with a very slight mocking tone that made Roger want to throw him out the window. He also didn't like the look Oscar had gotten on his face when Nathan mentioned this. This must have been exactly what Oscar was hoping for. Roger was probably going to have to use some serious self-control. "What was that like?" Then, without actually giving Nathan a chance to fully respond, he narrowed the answer field down. "Did you go to school?"

"No, Daddy didn't know…"

"Did you eat?"  
"Yes."

"What kinds of things did you eat?"

"I don't know… Mostwy cereaw fow bweakfast. Sometimes Daddy wouwd make something, though."

"What about for dinner?"

"Cowins brought food home a wot. Wike pizza and Chinese take-out. And sometimes Daddy wouwd make dinner."

"Collins? Who's Collins?"

"He's one of Daddy's fwiends. He wives wif us and aways tuwns the TV on fow me before he goes to wowk."

"What does Collins do?" Nathan just stared at him, uncomprehendingly. And no wonder. The question was very broad, too broad for a three-year-old to know how to answer. "I mean, what does he do when he's not at work or at home? Does he have a girlfriend?"

"No. Cowins doesn't date. he mostwy twavews and hangs out wif his othew fwiends ow wif us at home."

"Why doesn't he date?"

"Because he aweady met the wuv of his wife, but he died. So he's just hanging out hewe untiw he can join him." Under any other circumstances Roger would've laughed at how adorable it was to hear Nathan repeat words that normally came out of Collins' mouth. They just didn't seem to fit. But he couldn't laugh. Not now. Because he had finally figured out what this guy was doing. And he truly hated him for it.

"'Him'? Collins had a boyfriend?"

"Objection! Your honor, what does the sexual preference of Mr. Davis's roommate have to do with a custody case?"

"I am merely painting a picture of the type of home Nathan would be in if he went back to living with his father and whether it is a safe and stable home," Oscar said innocently.

"And since when does living with a homosexual not count as 'safe' and 'stable'? He's not some axe murderer!" Joanne's fury was very obvious and Roger was thankful it was not directed at him. Joanne was clearly upset at, not only having her friend insulted, but herself, however indirectly.

"That is enough, Ms. Jefferson," Judge McCoy said, "I'm going to have to agree with Ms. Jefferson on this one. The sexual preference of Mr. Davis's roommates does not have anything to do with this case, Mr. Ames. And if you continue to keep deviating from what we are actually here for I'm afraid I'll have to remove you from this case for wasting both the court's time and mine."

Oscar looked as if he had been slapped across the face. Roger had to work very hard to stop himself from smiling at both the rebuff Oscar had received and his thankfulness for receiving who was probably one of the very few non-homophobic judges in New York City.

"I'm sorry, your honor. I'll keep the questioning more on-topic. So, Nathan, what did you do during the day?"

"I usuawy went to Twicia's and she baby-sat me whiwe eve body ewse was at wowk."

"Who's Tricia?"

"The giw who wives downstaiws. She's weawy nice. They have aww these toys down thewe and she has a wittwe sistew who pways wif me."

"What did you do once you got home?"

"I wouwd pway a game wif Mimi or Cowins or Daddy. Sometimes Mawk wouwd pway, but he usuawy had wowk stuff to do or wouwd be out wif his giwfwiend."

"Who are Mark and Mimi?"

"Mawk is Daddy's best fwiend. He wives wif us awso. And Mimi is Daddy's Giwfwiend."

"Does Mimi live with you guys?"

"Yes. She and Daddy awe getting mawied."

"How is she?"

"She's weawy nice. I wike hew. She was the fiwst one who tawked to me aftew Aunty Carla weft me at Daddy's." Nathan's eyes suddenly got very big as if he realized he said something he shouldn't have and his thumb went back into his mouth.

"Nathan, where do you sleep at night?" Oscar asked, trying to recompose himself and paint the picture of Margaret's home being better than Roger's, which was slightly marred by Nathan's comment of abandonment.

"On the couch."

"You sleep on the couch? Instead of in a bed?"

"Because Daddy, Mawk, and…"

"Where do you sleep at home with your grandmother?"

"In my bed."

"Do you feel safe at your dad's?"

"Yes." Nathan responded after while, seeming confused by the question.

"You've never had a moment where you hurt yourself or could have hurt yourself?'  
"No."

"Have you ever been up on the roof?" Nathan just sat still in silence. Roger felt as if a jolt of electricity had been sent through his body. How had they found out about Nathan being on the roof?

"Yes."

"Why were you up there?"

"Because I was bowed and I wanted somewhere new to pway."

"So your dad took you up to the roof?"

"No."

"Then how did you get up there?"

"The doow was opened, so I wawked out and went up the staiws."

"Why didn't anyone stop you?"

"I don't know." Nathan was starting to look uncomfortable and had tears forming in his eyes.

"Was it because no one was there?"

"No…"

"Well, if someone saw you sneak out, why wouldn't they stop you?"

"I don't know… No one was there to see me."

"I thought you said someone was there."

"They wewe…"

"Who was there?"

"Mawk was…"

"Then why didn't he stop you?"

"He didn't see me…"

"Why not?"

"Because he was in his woom…"  
"Why was he in his room if he was supposed to be watching you?"

"Because he had some wowk to do…"

"Shouldn't he have been doing his work outside, in the living room, so he could watch you?"

"I don't know…"

"Do you really think that you're safer there than at your grandmother's?"

"I don't know! I'm sowy! It was my fauwt! I went onto the woof and I shouldn't have! I know I shouldn't have! Don't bwame Mawk!" Then he broke down crying, putting his little face on his arms as they rested on the table the microphone rested on.

"No further questions your honor."

Every time Roger thinks he can't hate the man anymore than he already does, Oscar proves him wrong. Carla walked up to the stand and picked Nathan up, holding him to herself and trying to quiet his sobs. Roger could see for the first time why April would even considering letting that woman raise her child.

"Ms. Jefferson, you may call up your first witness," Judge McCoy said after making a few final notes. He seemed just as disgusted by Oscar's tactics as Roger felt, but it was legal. There was nothing in court laws against making a witness cry.

Joanne took a deep breath and stood up.

"Here we go," she said quietly.

* * *

_So, there it was. Margaret's batch of witnesses. the next chapter will be Roger's and (hopefully) the cross-examination. But if that one ends up being as long as this one was, i may add another chapter for the cross-examination.  
_


	12. Roger's Side

_Do I have to start with the "so so's" to let you guys know how sorry I am? I had a really bad two weeks. Well, ok, so the second week was the only bad one, but they were both very busy. Last week I was cleaning non-stop for a movie night my friends; then I had the movie night; and then I had to baby-sit. Then, this week I had to do all of the stuff for our Empty Bowl Banquet that my wonderful (sarcasm) Key club president dumped onto me, along with tons and TONS of homework (I had to draw every bone inn the human body, cut them out, and glue them onto a life size outline of my body for Anatomy. That doesn't even include Chemistry and Pre-Calculus, both of which I had a test/quiz for.) But I got it up in the end. This chapter is short, but the next one will be very long, so it all evens out :p_

_Thanx, once again, to Stephanie. Now, more than ever, since I have gotten to that part where the automatic spell check on my Microsoft Word decides to stop. (Very annoying and tons of extra work for her.) _

_Enjoy. :)_

* * *

Joanne's first witness was, of course, Roger. As soon as attention was brought to him and he had started to walk up to the stand he heard a small voice calling to him. 

"Daddy! Daddy!" It was Nathan. Joanne had told Roger that this would probably happen, but he couldn't stop to talk to him. He had to just walk straight to the stands, sit down, and wait for Joanne to start questioning him. But it was a very hard thing to do. "Daddy, when can I come home? I don't want to stay at Gwandma's anymowe. I wanna go home!"

Roger was close enough that he could hear Margaret hiss at Carla to "shut him up", but he doubted anyone else could hear. Roger just pretended to ignore her and took his place on the stand.

"Mr. Davis," Joanne began and Roger had to hide a laugh at being addressed as "Mr. Davis" by one of his closest friends. Maureen, once again, was not as good at hiding it. Roger heard a smack as someone (presumably Jodie) hit her on the arm to get her to stop. "You're Nathan' father, correct?"

"Yes." Roger had to smile at the way Joanne had said "Nathan" instead of "the child", it made him sound more like the human that he was.

"And he was staying with you a while back, correct?"

"Yes."

"When was this?"

"About two weeks ago. He stayed with us for about two weeks."

"Why was he staying with you?"

"His aunt didn't feel like raising him anymore."

"Is that what she told you?"

"Yes. She left a letter with him, saying how she felt that since I was his father she felt I should be raising him now." Roger didn't feel the need to point out that said aunt had also left the three-year-old alone outside their building at night. Joanne would tackle that later with Mimi. It made sense, seeing as she was the one who found him. Joanne had also talked it over with them and they decided that the best way to go about getting Nathan back was to focus on the good qualities of Roger's home, rather than to mainly focus on the bad qualities of Margaret's. This also, Joanne had said, would most likely make them look better in front of the judge, since they wouldn't have to resort to insulting the other side.

"And what did you do?"

"Freaked out for a little bit," Roger answered honestly, prompting some giggles from the courtroom, even some on Margaret's side. Joanne smiled and continued.

"Why?"

"Because I had suddenly gone from finding out my fiancée was pregnant and preparing for that kid when another one I didn't even know existed just showed up on my doorstep."

"You didn't know he existed," Joanne continued, although she stated it as a fact, not posing it as a question of fake curiosity like Oscar had, "Why not?"

"Because April never told me. She just went off to her mom's one day, saying she had to help her and her sister take care of her father."

"How long was she gone for?"

"About three months. I never even considered the thought of her having a baby. I mean, that stuff doesn't tend to happen in three months."

"It does if the baby's born pre-maturely," Joanne explained for the benefit of the judge, so he would know how totally clueless Roger was in April's pregnancy. "Did she ever mention it to you afterwards?"

"No. The first time I heard of him was that day."

"If she had told you about him sometime during your relationship, what would you have done?"

"I honestly have no idea. I would've wanted to meet him, but there was no way I could have wanted to take him in. not right away, at least."

"Why not?"

"The way we lived was not the right place for a kid to be. I was really messed up. I was hooked on drugs, didn't work, and, I'm not entirely sure about this, but from what my friends said, I was a real jackass." Everyone there for Roger laughed out loud at that one. It would probably seem like an odd thing to laugh at about your friend, but Roger calling himself a jackass in a courtroom was pretty funny. "April wasn't much better."

Another strategy Joanne had suggested was to just tell the truth about everything plain out. If Roger did drugs in the past, tell the court now, from his own mouth. It'll be better in the long run than if the other side mentions and gets a chance to make it sound worse than it is.

"So, what did you do a month ago? When he was first dropped off at your apartment?"

"I called Carla and met with her the next day and we talked everything over and finally decided that since I had no idea how to raise a kid it would probably be better for her to take him back."

"Then what?" Roger thought over what he was going to say. He wasn't exactly sure how to put into words what it was exactly that had changed his mind. It was more like a feeling. It just didn't feel right to send Nathan back to Carla's.

"He ended up staying at our place for a few days until Carla had a chance to get him. And by then I… just didn't want to give him up. I know this makes him sound like a dog or something, but I really wanted to keep him. He's my son and I really started liking him. It didn't feel right to send him back to Carla's. It still doesn't. I love him and I want to be the one to raise him."

"Thank you," Joanne said and she nodded, letting him know he could step down. "Next, I'd like to call up Mimi Marquez."

Mimi stood up, looking extremely nervous, and walked over to the stand. Nathan made a move to free himself from Carla, but made no noise this time. Roger noticed Margaret glaring at Mimi, but Mimi did a good show of pretending not to notice and not glaring right back.

"You're Mr. Davis's fiancee, correct?"

"Yes."

"How long have you been engaged?"

"Since Valentine's Day, so for about three and a half months." Mimi actually knew down to the exact hour how long they had been engaged, but didn't want to bore the judge with such a trivial fact.

"And you live with him, correct?"

"Yes. Him, me, Collins, and Mark."

"So, you were there the day Nathan was dropped off by Carla, correct?"

"Yes. I was the one who found him."

"Explain what happened, please."

"I was walking home from my doctor's appointment with my friend Jodie. Her family lives on the floor below mine and she was visiting with them, so she walked with me. We got to my apartment building and saw Nathan sitting on the steps in front of the building."

"Was he with anyone?"  
"No. He was alone. He was just sitting there with his duffel bag and his backpack."

"What did you do?"

"I talked to him and tried to find out why he was sitting there. I mean, he was just a little kid, I didn't want to leave him outside alone. This is New York City. Something horrible could have happened to him."

"What did he tell you?"

"He told me his aunt had left him there and that he was supposed to live with his father now. He said his father lived in that building and I thought it didn't make any sense, since I knew everyone who lived there and didn't know of any of them having a son. Finally, he showed me a picture he had of his parents; he was supposed to use it to figure out who his father was."

"Did you recognize the people in his photo?"

"Yes. One of them was a girl I had seen in other photographs around the apartment, because she had dated my boyfriend and was very close friends with my friends. The other was my boyfriend, Roger."

"Did that strike you as odd?"

"Yeah." Mimi couldn't quite hold back using a tone that clearly suggested it surprising her should be obvious. Some of the people on Roger's side laughed quietly. Even in court Mimi couldn't fully keep her personality in check. She looked over at Roger apologetically and he smiled lovingly at her. He didn't care; her attitude seemed to make her more real, anyway. Joanne smiled and continued.

"So, what did you do then?"

"I convinced Nathan to come up to our apartment so we could wait for Roger there. It was a much safer place and I wanted to talk to Mark about why they had kept me in the dark about this for so long."

"So, that surprised you as well? Not just that Roger had a son, but the fact that he didn't tell you about him?"

"Definitely. Roger has never kept secrets from me or lied to me. Especially about something that big and important. He definitely would have told me."

"So, the only reason Roger wouldn't tell you about something like this would be if he didn't know?"

"That's the only logical reason I can come up with."

"How do you feel about Nathan?"

"He's the sweetest little boy I've ever met.He only stayed with us for, like, two weeks, but I already love him like my own son." The look Mimi got in her eyes when she talked about him made it obvious she wasn't lying.

"Thank you, Mimi." Joanne nodded again to allow Mimi to leave the stand. Mimi stepped down, looking visibly relieved that she wasn't sitting up there anymore. Over the next hour, Joanne spoke to a few more people, including Roger's boss, Steve from Roger's band, and Roger's landlord (Which was Benny, but nobody seemed to really care.) Finally, she got to her last witness.

"I would like to call Tricia Carson to the stand," Joanne said and Tricia jumped up, bouncing over to the stand. In contrast to practically everybody else who had been up there, Tricia looked ecstatic to have all eyes on her. She was an attention seeker and loved it when people listened to her talk. A whole courtroom full of people hanging on her every word was like a dream come true to her. They had decided on having Tricia has a witness to show an outside person's view of Roger and how he was with Nathan. And having an adolescent's view was the best choice, since this was a custody case.

"You're Mr. Davis's neighbor, correct?" Joanne began.

"Sort of. Our building only has one apartment per floor, so I don't live next to him. But I live on the floor below him."

"That makes you neighbors," Joanne said, smiling, Tricia had moved here from a neighborhood where she lived in a house. To her being a neighbor meant living in the house next door to someone else. "How do you like Roger?"

"He's awesome. He doesn't try to lie to you and sugar coat things like other adults do. If I ask him something, he tells me the truth straight out. Like, when I asked why there were police cars outside the next building over a couple months back he told me flat out that a guy shot someone. My parents would've just told me two guys were fighting. He also gives the best advice. He's actually been out there living the real hard life of a New Yorker and knows what kinds of mistakes you can end up making and stops me before I do the same thing. He also practices his music on the roof when he's bored and he is _awesome_ at playing the guitar." As was usual when talking to Tricia, her response was long and fast. Roger felt bad for the court reporter who had to type all of this out.

"Ok, thank you. So, you know him pretty well?"

"You tend to know everybody in your apartment building when your parents won't let you leave your room without a ten foot radius." She said, slightly sarcastically. After speaking, however, she seemed to realize how she was making her own parents look and amended quickly with, "I'm grounded a lot." Joanne had to work really hard not to laugh.

"So, were you there when Mimi brought Nathan up?"

"No, I was out with my step-dad and sister picking up my brother from his day care center."

"Did you ever see Nathan?"

"Yeah, Mimi tried to bring him down to my place the next day. They all had to work, so she wanted me to watch him, but he kicked up a major racket about going down the stairs, so I just took my brother and sister up to their place and watched him there."

"Did he seem happy?"

"He was ecstatic. The kid absolutely adored Mimi. He constantly went on about her 'Mimi read me this last night' 'Mimi used to watch Sesame Street' 'Mimi can't cook, so Daddy made us breakfast this morning' 'Mimi's really nice'. he went on and on. I was beginning to think if the kid was twenty years older Roger would have some major competition for that girl." Everyone laughed again.

"Did he ever say anything about Roger?'

"Yeah. He felt the need to tell me the whole story of his life on along the way he mentioned how his aunt left him to live with his father now and how he liked living here much better because everybody didn't yell at him all the time." It was a good thing Tricia did well under pressure and didn't care what others thought, otherwise the murderous look Margaret was shooting her might have frightened her out of going any further.

"Did you ever see Roger with Nathan?"

"Yeah. My sister is dating Mark, so my family get together with them once a week and we have dinner. Plus I always got home just before Mimi had to leave for work, so I would baby-sit him until Roger got home."

"How were they together?"

"They were adorable. I wish I had a father like him. My dad ditched me as soon as I was born. But they were great together. Every time I baby-sat that kid he would always go on and on about what they had done. 'Daddy took me to the park today' 'Daddy and I saw a movie today' 'Daddy let me help him make dinner last night' 'Daddy said I can stay with them'. That kid was unbelievably happy to be living with those two."

"So, Nathan seemed to like living with Roger?'

"He loved it. The only time I ever saw that kid unhappy was when I was baby sitting him and he tripped and fell into the table. That was Lizzie's fault, though, since she left the hot wheel car out in the middle of the floor."

"Thank you," Joanne said smiling and Tricia hopped up and bounced back to her seat. "We're done with our witnesses now, your honor."  
"Thank you. I will now call a recess for the court so we can get lunch. Court will convene again in one hour, during which time we will have the cross-examinations." He banged his gavel and everyone stood up, preparing to leave. Roger looked over at Nathan as Carla picked him up and followed Margaret out the back door, as she spoke, clearly in a scolding tone to both of them. Roger felt another pang of resentment flare up and hoped that the cross-examination went well for them. If it did, then, hopefully, Nathan would be going home with Roger and not with that evil woman.  
"Roger, we're all walking to that restaurant down the street to get something to eat," Mimi said gently, taking his hand. Roger smiled slightly at her and followed everyone else out of the courthouse.

* * *

_And there was chapter twelve. I'll, hopefully, have the next chapter up soon. Empty Bowl is now over and we finished that chapter in pre-Calculus, so now it's all new stuff. I also turned in my monthly article for Journalism, so that's one class that will be homework-less. :)_


	13. Cross Examination

_Da da da da! Chapter thirteen! This chapter is intense, let me tell you. :p But, hopefully, also very good. _

_Just a small announcement, first. I'm not sure if any of you have noticed or not, but I have added a poll to my Author's profile page, for those of you who care to check it out. (I actually added it a while ago, but kept forgetting to mention it in my AN's. :p)_

_Thank you, Steph, once again._

_Enjoy. :) _

* * *

"So, Ames told me who he wants to cross-examine," Joanne announced after everyone had gotten their food and started eating. Unsurprisingly, Roger and Mimi weren't eating much, "He's decided to cross-examine Mimi and Tricia." 

Everyone stared at her.

"What?" Roger asked, surprised.

"Why the hell do they want to cross-examine _me_? What can I do for them?" Tricia asked.

"I was sure they would want to cross-examine Roger, so they could disprove everything he said about himself and everything," Jodie added.

"Yeah, it doesn't make much sense to me, either. I was sure they would choose to at least cross-examine Benny, since him being Roger's friend comprises his testimony. Not to mention his not-so-good track record last year. But that's what they've decided, so we'll have to go with it."

"Uh-oh," Jodie said quietly.

"'Uh-oh', what?" Tricia asked. Her tone seemed pleasant enough, but those that knew her well knew that something was brewing beneath the surface. Jodie had a problem with her getting back up on the stand sand she knew it and felt slightly insulted.

"Tricia, you aren't exactly the best at… holding your tongue," Jodie replied cautiously.

"What's that supposed to mean? I did a pretty good job earlier."

"Yeah, but that was slightly rehearsed. I mean, you knew everything that was going to be asked of you. Nothing took you by surprise and you had extra time to think over what you should respond with. This is going to be different. And we all know you blurt out everything that enters your head."

"Well, I'll do a better job of that today. I have brains, you know."

"All right, both of you knock it off," Roger said, suddenly. Not in a way like he was angry, though, just slightly annoyed and trying to get things under control, "You're bickering isn't going to help anything. We can't take Tricia off the stand so we're just going to have to trust her and hope for the best. And it would probably be best if we all actually show some faith in her. Ok, Jodie?"

Stunned into silence, Jodie just nodded. Everyone had stopped eating and was staring at Roger now.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," everyone said and they all just returned to their meals, leaving Roger slightly confused.

* * *

"Our first witness will be Tricia Carson," Oscar announced to the courtroom an hour later. Tricia hopped up and walked over to the stand again, sitting down, looking slightly nervous now. 

"Miss Carson, you live in the apartment under Mr. Davis, correct?"

"Yes, I said that earlier."

"And Mr. Davis's roommate is dating your sister?"

"Yep."

"So, your family is pretty good friends with him and his roommate."

"Yes."

"So, would you do anything to help him out?"

"Define 'anything'." The ones in the room who knew Tricia well enough knew that there was a very slight sarcastic undertone to what she had said, and that she was preparing for a fight. This guy thought he had an easy target in a sixteen-year-old, but he was dead-wrong. Roger wondered vaguely if this guy had any idea what he was getting himself into.

"Like, would you do anything illegal?"

Tricia thought over that one for a while and Roger knew that whatever her answer was, it would definitely be the truth, that's just how Tricia was. But she would work to word it as best she could so as not to make herself look like less than credible witness.

"It really depends. Like, what's the illegal thing I'm doing? And why am I doing it? If Roger just stabs some guy in the middle of the street for no reason whatsoever and then asked me to lie for him so he would have an alibi and not go to jail, then no. But, if he stabbed someone in self-defense and the odds weren't pretty good on him not going to jail unless a lied for him, then yes."

"Just answer the question, Miss Carson. It's an easy question. Black and white. Would you or would you not do something illegal for Mr. Davis?"

Tricia just stared at him with a slight mixture of pity and amusement that Roger knew she had picked up very well in her Drama class.

"That's so cute. You think the world's all in black and white. Sorry, honey," and she leaned forward slightly, as if meaning for this comment only to be heard by Oscar and no one else, "But life is not like that." She leaned back in her chair and continued, "You had better wise up if you intend on remaining in New York City."

Roger couldn't help but smile at the memory of himself saying the exact same thing to Tricia six months ago on the bus from Santa Fe to New York.

Oscar just gaped at her, unable to respond.

"I withdraw my question, your honor," he finally said, clearly realizing he had a much tougher case on his hands then he ever thought. But he was determined and took only a minute to get back to his train of thought in tearing Tricia's testimony and credibility apart.

"Miss Carson," he finally said.

"Yes, Mr. Ames?" she replied. There was a small collective giggling in the courtroom. Even Judge McCoy smiled slightly. Oscar just glared at her.

"You explained earlier that Mr. Davis and fiancee frequently left Nathan in your care, correct?"

"Yes. Every weekday once I got home from school."

"Do you think that was a wise decision?"

"Well, I get some money out of it. So I would have to say 'yes'." Once again, there was slight sarcasm beneath her tone. Everyone in the courtroom laughed openly this time, even Judge McCoy. Tricia smirked slightly at Oscar, daring him to continue with whatever it was he was planning on hinting at.

"So, you think it's wise to leave a three-year-old at home with some teenager he hardly knows, rather than at a nursery or day care center with qualified professionals?"

"He knows me. We had dinner together a few times. And I've been baby-sitting my siblings for quite a while before I started baby-sitting him, so I would consider me just as qualified as some nursery to take care of a kid for a couple of hours. And, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't know the people at the nursery or day care center, either. So that would make them strangers, wouldn't it?"

Roger was pleased that she had done a fairly good job at keeping a straight, reasonable tone when she spoke, rather than getting angry and sarcastic like she normally would have.

"Don't you have a temper problem, Miss Carson?"

"Define 'temper problem', Mr. Ames." Maureen had to lower her head, to hide how hard she was laughing now.

"I mean, you said you get grounded often, correct?"

"Yes."

"What's the reasoning behind the groundings?"

"I don't know when to keep my mouth shut. I try, but it's really hard. As soon as a thought enters my head I just blurt it out without thinking. And if that thought happens to be about a certain not-so-nice teacher who gave me a bad grade on my opinion paper just because she didn't agree with my paper and that then resulted in a suspension from school which resulted in grounding, then so be it."

Roger remembered the major uproar that had caused. Tricia had been assigned to write an opinion paper on anything she chose. She became really excited at being able to share her opinion in school and decided to write about Gay marriage. She had been very thorough about it (something she usually wasn't) and worked extra hard on writing it, only to receive a "C". No one could deny the paper was wonderful and the only reason she could have possibly gotten a "C" was because of her conservative teacher not agreeing with the subject matter. Her parents agreed that the teacher was unfair and made her change the grade, but calling her what, even to Roger, seemed to be a pretty bad string of cuss words was not the right way to handle it.

"Do you behave like that with your siblings?"

"God, no! Can you imagine the groundings I would get if I talked like that around them? I'd never get out of the house!" In the horror of the possibility of being stuck inside until she was eighteen, Tricia had momentarily forgotten where she was. She immediately re-composed herself, however, and shot another apologetic glance at Roger. But it didn't matter, she just made everyone laugh again and roger could tell the judge seemed to like her and her eccentric attitude.

"Have you ever hit your siblings?"

"What does me hitting my siblings have to do with this trial? You like tangents, don't you?" Joanne sat back down, having risen to object to the question, but there was no need. Tricia beat her to the punch.

"I'm going to have to agree, Mr. Ames. You seriously need to keep on subject with what we are here for," Judge McCoy agreed and Tricia smiled smugly at Oscar. Oscar glared at her before continuing.

"Your honor, I was just attempting to establish the witness's character. She baby-sits her children. She also baby-sat for Nathan. If she treats her siblings poorly, who's to say she wouldn't have treated Nathan the same?"  
"What the hell kind of excuse is that?" Tricia demanded, not giving the judge a chance to respond, "The way I treat my siblings I obviously going to be different than the way I treat other kids. I have to put up with my siblings everyday. I know how to handle them better and I think I do a pretty good job. The closest I ever came to actually hitting one of them was when I threw a pillow at Lizzie and that was just because she wouldn't leave me alone to do my homework. Honestly, do you think my parents would let me watch my siblings if all I did was smack them around?" She seemed to have taken is implication very personally and was clearly insulted by it. The problem was she had, once again, shown her knack for losing her temper. Roger wondered for a second if that was what Oscar had been aiming at, but, judging by the look on his face, it wasn't.

Oscar cleared his throat a few times and then decided to move onto his next topic of discussion.

"So, you don't see yourself as a violent person?"

"I didn't say that. Just that I don't take it out on defenseless little kids. I prefer my pillow and Sam Fischer."

"Is it true that you also attacked the man that came to take Nathan to his grandmother's house?" Tricia just stared at him, like he was insane. Finally, she leaned in, as if meaning to say this to only him, rather than the whole courtroom.

"You do know that was you, right?" she asked, as if fearing for his sanity. Then she straightened up, as if to suddenly comprehend, "Oh! Are you not allowed to refer to yourself as "me" and "I" when telling back stories in court?"

Roger had to smile at Tricia's brilliancy. By calling himself "the man that took Nathan to his grandmother's house" he distanced himself from the story and made it sound less like a personal attack. But Tricia had called him out on it and his attack wouldn't work as well. Oscar definitely wasn't expecting that. He spent another few minutes trying to clear his head before moving on.  
"Yes… Well… Just answer the question Miss Carson. Did you or did you not attack me outside of your home?"

"You were carrying my neighbors kid out of the building and he was kicking and screaming and crying. I had never seen you before and I had never seen Nathan react to anybody that way before. All signs pointed to 'kidnapper'. So, yeah, I busted out a few of the moves Mimi had shown me, isn't that what anyone would have done?" It wasn't until it had all tumbled out that she realized what she had said and how that could be taken, should Oscar decide to use it. He did.

"So, Ms. Marquez has taught you how to attack someone? Isn't that a bit irresponsible behavior? To teach a teenager how to be violent?"

Tricia was a quick thinker. She lifted her hand waved it slightly, to indicate she wanted Oscar to move closer, once again encompassing him in a little "private" conversation. "Have you ever been on the streets of New York at night?" she asked in almost a whisper, but the microphone made it so everyone in the courtroom could hear, "It is a scary place, my friend. I need some way to defend myself. And my mom won't let me carry a knife, so that was my second best option." she added cheerfully in her normal voice for the whole courtroom to "intentionally" hear.

She sat back, smiling slightly at Oscar. Roger recognized it as the same look she wore when she trapped Mark in Chess and there was nowhere for him to go. Check mate. She had turned his own argument around on him, making Mimi seem like a concerned and responsible person, rather than the violent one he had been trying to portray.

"Thank you, Miss Carson, that is all," Oscar finally said in a slightly defeated voice. Tricia's smile grew slightly as she stood up and walked back to her seat. She looked over at Roger and he shot her a small thumbs up to let her know he thought she had done a pretty good job. She smiled even more widely and took her seat between her mother and her sister.

"Next, we would like to speak to Mimi Marquez," Oscar said, but the way he said it was slightly disconcerting. Like he didn't care at all how Tricia's testimony went, Mimi's would more than make up for it. It worried him.

"Ms. Marquez, you are Mr. Davis's live-in girlfriend, correct?"  
"Yes."

"How long have you lived together?"

"Since the end of last December."

"And you have four people living in that apartment?"  
"Well, it's a loft, really. So there's a lot of space."

"Enough space for two more children? You are having a child of your own, correct?"

"Yes. And It'll be plenty of space for two more children. They're going to share the extra room we had. Roger and our friends just finished cleaning it out. It's perfectly capable of rooming two kids."

"But, do you think the people are capable?"

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean."  
"Do you think the people who live there are capable of taking care of two kids?"  
"Yes. We're perfectly capable."

"Even you?" Mimi stiffened at the question, knowing some major bashing was heading her way. She was ready, though. What could he possibly throw at her that wasn't thrown at her by people on the street everyday of her life?

"Yes. Even me."  
"Ms. Marquez, have you ever done drugs?"

"Yes. I was addicted for heroin for six years before Roger helped me get off it." Oscar was very taken aback by her blunt honesty. The reasoning was simple, he was heading there anyway. The best thing was for Mimi to explain it with all the details and make herself (and Roger) sound as good as possible before he had a chance to tear her down. She could tell from the look on his face that this was not the answer he was expecting and she had foiled the first part of his plan. She tried not to look too smug.

"What about for a job? Where do you work?"

"I work as a waitress at Graffiti." **(A/N: I have no idea if this restaurant was open in 1997. I tried to find out, but I can't find a website for it, just little blurbs and stiff in restaurant lists. But it seemed pretty cool, so it stays. :p)**

"Where did you work before the witnessing job?"

"I worked at the Cat Scratch Club for about four years before I quit." Mimi was prepared for this question and was careful not to show any annoyance at Oscar's desperate dig for dirt. He was seriously bringing up _previous_ jobs she had had? It was a good thing he didn't know about Mimi's first year in New York, or she would be in major trouble.

"The strip club?" Oscar asked in that fakely surprised way.

"No. The S&M club. There's a difference. At the Cat Scratch Club, you don't strip you just dance. Most of your clothes are already off when you stop out on the stage." Maureen almost lost it at that one, but managed to shove her jacket into her mouth in time. Tricia did not, and received a whack from her sister. Mimi was pretty sure Oscar had nowhere to go after this. It didn't matter where she used to work. That was all in the past. She was way different now. It wasn't as if she liked working there before, anyway. It was just a way to pay the rent. There was no way Oscar could make her seem bad from just that. At least, that's what Mimi thought. Until he asked his next question.

"Why did you quit?" Mimi froze. She hadn't expected that question. She could tell him the truth. That working there had gained her a psychotic stalker who tried to kidnap her and repeatedly tried to kill her boyfriend. But she didn't want to get into the details. That was a period in her life that she tried very hard to ignore. So she only told part of the truth.

"I hated working there. The guys were all pigs and I just didn't feel respected. The hours sucked, the boss sucked, the pay sucked, the customers sucked. Pretty much everything about that place sucked. I like witnessing way better." Oscar smiled a very twisted smile at her that made her heart rate shoot back up.

"Is that all?" So he knew. He knew about Todd and what had happened and was going to make Mimi recount it. Her eyes darted to the back of the room where Todd's parents sat, his mother looking evilly smug, with alert eyes. Now Mimi knew why they were here. To watch her suffer. They couldn't get her sent to jail so they were going to make her squirm in court and possibly cause Roger to lose his son. What else could she do? She had to tell the whole truth.

"I… had some trouble a couple of months ago…" She knew it was too vague for Oscar's liking.

"What kind of trouble?"

"There was this guy who went to the club a lot… He was interested in me and I turned him down, because I was dating Roger… He seemed really nice, though, and we became friends, but… He didn't want just friendship and he wouldn't leave me alone. It just became a little too much and I didn't want to risk going through that again." She knew, once again, that it was too vague, but as much as she hated Todd's parents at that moment, she couldn't bring it in herself to tarnish their memories of him with how truly insane he had gotten and everything he had done.

"Seems like a logical reason to quit." There was a long pause and then, "Why did he finally stop?" Mimi just stared at him, feeling sick. He knew why. She could see it in his eyes, but he wanted her to admit it. Mimi looked over at Roger and he saw the pain and panic in her eyes. He just nodded slightly at her encouragingly, trying his best to reassure her without words. Mimi took a shuddery breath before answering.  
"One night I was working at the club and he attacked me. Roger came up to the club and took me home early and when we got home he attacked Roger and took me to his apartment… Roger followed us and when he was trying to get m out of the apartment he accidentally headed for the roof…" Mimi stopped, not wanting to finish.

"Then what, Ms. Marquez?"

"He and Roger got into a fight and he had shoved Roger off the roof… Roger was barely hanging onto the ledge and Todd was trying to knock him off… I didn't even think I just… Had to stop him… So I grabbed a folding chair and I hit him with it…I didn't mean to knock him off, I swear I didn't. He was just leaning forward to far and… he fell…" Mimi had tears pouring down her face by the time she was done. She never, in her life, imagined herself killing someone. But if she hadn't done anything Roger would be dead, and she couldn't bear the thought. She had to do _something_.

"So, you killed him?" Oscar asked. As much as Roger had hated this man, it was nothing compared to how much e hated him now. Mimi was one of the kindest, most caring people he knew. She never wanted to kill anybody, and this man was putting her through this torture and pain, just to try and make her out to be some sort of heartless murderer.

"No… No… I… I… didn't…. I… I just…" Mimi tried to stop crying long enough to further deny it, but she couldn't.

"You just what? You knocked him off the roof, didn't you? And that killed him. So, logically, that means you killed him."

"No… I didn't…"

"You're personally responsible for another man's death, and you still think you're capable of raising a child?"

Mimi tried to form a response, but she was stuttering and shaking so badly she couldn't come up with anything.

"I mean, what happens if Nathan breaks a vase in the living room or something? Are you going to throw him off a roof too?"

"No! No, I would never do that! I would never kill someone!"

"Liar!" Everyone's heads turned to look at Todd's mother, who had stood up and was now shouting at Mimi. "She killed my son! She murdered him! For no reason at all! "

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Mimi shouted back, but to no avail.

"Ma'am, if you don't restrain yourself, I'll have to have you escorted from the court," Judge McCoy warned, but she wasn't finished.

"She took my boy away from me when all he ever did was care about her! I used to talk to him everyday and she was the highlight of his everyday! First, she led him on to believe she would be with him, then she broke his heart, and then she killed him!"

"He was going to kill Roger! He had already tried twice! He had tried to kill me! What was I supposed to do?"  
"Guards, remove her," Judge McCoy ordered, gesturing towards Todd's mother, but she still kept at it.

"My boy never hurt anybody! She isn't fit to be that boy's mother! She isn't fit to be anybody's mother!" Two guards pulled her from the courtroom and her husband quickly followed. The screaming stopped once the doors closed, but the silence didn't last for long. Soon the whole courtroom was buzzing with people talking, mostly people on Margaret's side, talking about what "that man" was thinking, wanting to bring a child into a home with a murderer. Mimi sat, stunned, tears still streaming down her face, unable to respond to anything.

"Ms. Marquez," Oscar began, but Mimi jumped up from her seat and bolted across the courtroom and out the doors, sobbing the whole way, tears streaming down her face. Roger jumped up without a thought and followed her.

The last things he heard as he rushed out were Judge McCoy announcing "we'll take a half hour recess until this court can settle down." and Nathan asking Carla "What's wong wif Mimi?"

* * *

_So, that's the thirteenth chapter. This next chapter will be the last trial chapter. So you 'll get to see how it ends, get the verdict, etc. But no problems on getting it up before the weekend. I have ACT's this week. Whoopie. sarcasm And the best part is, I live in Michigan, so this whole week is not only ACT but MME, which is way, way worse. One whole day of testing, and then two half-days of testing so the other classes can come in the afternoon, but my class STILL has to go to the afternoon regular school. I hate my school... So, I'll try to get it up, but I might be on the verge of another nervous breakdown, so no promises. Sorry. _


	14. The Only Thing I Ever Did Right

_Thank the Lord this is finally done:p I hate ACT's, I really do. I had standardized testing for three days straight last week. Then baby-sitting, homework, and this chapter is especially long, so you guys are lucky I got it put his week at all. :p Nonetheless, however, I'm sorry for the wait. _

_I skipped the beta this time to get it up tonight, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes._

_Enjoy. :)_

* * *

Roger finally caught up to Mimi outside the courtroom as she collapsed onto a bench, sobbing with her face in her hands. Roger wordlessly walked over to her and sat down, putting his arms around her and pulling her close to him, whispering words of comfort to her. After a few minutes she calmed down enough to lift her head back up and start drying her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Roger," she choked out as soon as she trusted herself enough to speak, "I'm so sorry. I…"

"Don't apologize," Roger interrupted, reaching up to wipe the tear stains off her cheeks. "It's not your fault. It's that asshole, Ames's fault. He had no right to do that to you."

"But, what if the judge believes them now and thinks I'm some psycho maniac? He'll _never_ put Nathan with you."

"Mimi, it's obvious that it was an accident. And you were cleared off the charges. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I killed a guy, Roger. That doesn't seem wrong to you?"

"Mimi, you didn't mean to kill anybody."

"That doesn't change the fact that I did."

"What would you rather have happened? Would you rather he threw me off the roof and then took you? Nobody would be better off then. Not even him. He would've gotten caught, eventually, and then he would've gone to jail. But not before he ended up doing something horrible to you. I would much rather he died." 

Mimi just shook her head weakly and leaned against his arm. Roger wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closely and rubbed her arm comfortingly. After a few minutes Mimi took a deep breath and stood up.

"We'd better get back in there before Joanne sends someone looking for us," she said, half-smiling. She looked a great deal better, but Roger knew it was just the skills she possessed at hiding her true feelings, honed by years of working at the Cat Scratch Club where you had to smile no matter what was going on in your life.

"Ok," Roger began to get up, but then noticed someone off in the distance and turned back to Mimi, "Hey, why don't you head back in there, I'll catch up soon, ok?"

"Ok," she said, looking slightly confused, but she turned around and walked back into the courtroom.

Roger had spotted Carla off in the distance. She was holding onto Nathan and talking with her mother. Actually "talking" wasn't the right word. She was standing there while Margaret appeared to be shouting at her. Roger wasn't sure what it was about, but he waited for Margaret to leave so he could talk to Carla. Thankfully, she left a few seconds later, after snatching Nathan away from her and marching back into the courtroom. This was good as well, since Roger wasn't sure being near Nathan was the best idea at the time. Cautiously, he approached Carla, who had taken out a cigarette and was now puffing on it furiously.

"Hey," he said once he finally reached her. 

Carla let out a sigh of annoyance.

"God, what do you want?" she asked viciously.

"What's up with your mom?" He gestured toward the courtroom. This wasn't the initial reason he ahd come over, but he was curious now.

"Mom's mad at me."

"Why?"

"It's none of your business." She was quiet for a few seconds, "What did you really want?"

"Car;a, this is getting way out of hand. I can't believe you guys would sink this low. Mimi is not a bad person and you're trying to make her out to be some sort of heartless monster."

Carla seemed to soften slightly for a split second.

"I know. I actually like Mimi. She seems really nice." Before Roger had a chance to respond, she changed back to her brisk manner, "But it doesn't matter what I think or want. This is what my mom is doing. I'm just here to watch Nathan and make my mom look like the most amazing parent anyone could have." It would be hard not to notice the bitterness in her voice by the end of her statement.

"Wait… What? How were you supposed to 'make your mom look like the most amazing parent anyone could have'?"

"I was supposed to testify on my mother's behalf. You know, her own child saying what a great mother she was and all. Who wouldn't give her a child after that?"

"Is that why she was screaming at you?"

"Yeah. This was the first moment she got a chance to."

"Why didn't you do it?"

She just shrugged. Roger was getting sick of beating around the bush. He decided to get straight to the point so they could get inside and finish this damn trial. It seemed like it had been going on forever.**(A/N: And, I bet you all know how he feels, huh? ;))**

"Listen, Carla. Like I said, this is getting out of hand. Your lawyer's has already made Nathan cry and Mimi nearly have a break down. How much more blood do you guys want?'

"I know… I know… This is way out of hand. My mother can be a total bitch when she wants to be."

"So do something to stop it."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Talk to your mom."  
"Yeah, that'll work."

"Talk to the judge. Do something. You know Nathan is not better off with her."

"There is no way I could stand up to my mother that way. It's just not worth it."

"Not worth it? Your nephew's future is 'not worth it' to you?"

"Nope. Sorry. To be honest, I've kind of gotten sick of him, in fact."

"well, then why don't you help me get him and then you won't eve have to deal with him again!" Roger was mad now. Before he was just frustrated. She didn't even care about Nathan. Not one little bit. She was willing to let him suffer the same childhood she and April had endured and not do a thing about it.

"It's not that simple," she said, shaking her head slowly, looking regretful. She just stood, thoughtful, for a while before suddenly saying, "You know, I was always against her giving him up. I just didn't want her to do it. I wanted a second chance at doing something right by her."

"You still can, Carla. Just help me. Please. I can't do this without someone else's help. I know I can't. I know you don't care about Nathan that much. You probably don't even care much about yourself anymore. But if that's the case, can't you at least do this for your sister? Would she want her only child to be raised the same way she was? In a home where he's not really cared about or wanted?"

"You really don't understand, do you? I failed her again. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it. No matter what you think." And before Roger could respond she turned around and marched back intot eh courtroom, leaving him standing in the hallway alone.

* * *

"We would like to speak with Nathan Ericsson," Joanne said, once court had resumed. It was now their turn at cross-examination and Nathan was their only witness. The others just didn't seem as important.

Roger saw some unidentified woman walk Nathan up to the stands. As far as he could tell, Carla still hadn't returned, so this other woman was looking after him instead.

"Hello, Nathan," Joanne began, adopting a soothing, gentle voice when she spoke to the small child. Nathan, who had been sitting in the chair with wide eyes and his thumb in his mouth immediately recognized Joanne and visibly relaxed.

"Hi, Joanne!" he exclaimed, a huge grin spreading over his face. Joanne couldn't quite hide her smile at the child's sudden joy at just seeing her. 

"How are you feeling today?" Joanne said the best way to get an honest response from a child is to make them feel as comfortable as possible, so she treated him as if they were back at the loft, just having a casual conversation.

"Ok," he said, his good mood dropping slightly.

"What's wrong?"

"I wanna go home." Just the answer she had been hoping for.

"Well, I'm sure this trial will be over soon and then you and your grandma can go home."

"No, not thewe. I don't wanna wive wif Gwandma. I wanna go back home wif Daddy and Mimi."

"Why? What's wrong with your grandma?"

Nathan's eyes seemed to double in size and he immediately stuck his thumb in his mouth, shrinking back into the seat. Roger saw his eyes shoot over to Margaret for a fraction of a second before turning back to Joanne. Roger turned too, to look at Margaret and saw Carla quietly re-enter in the back of the courtroom, settling herself in the back-most row.

"Nofing," he mumbled around his thumb.

"Then why don't you want to go back?" 

Nathan just sat there silently with his thumb in his mouth. The court sat in silence for a minute, before it was broken by Judge McCoy.

"Nathan, will you please answer the question?" he said gently, watching the boy intently. Slowly, Nathan took his thumb out of his mouth and leaned forward, towards the mic.

"I just wike wiving wif Daddy bettew."

"So, you like it there?"  
"Yeah. A wot. It's tons of fun. I watch TV wif Cowins and Mawk showed me how to use a video camewa and Mimi weads to me and Daddy takes me to the pawk and I don't aways hafta cwean up evewyfing and I get to sweep in water if I want to."

"It sounds like tons of fun. What's it like living with your grandmother?"

Nathan's face fell again and he made a more to stick his thumb in his mouth again, but then seemed to recall what happened last time and just answered the question.

"It's ok. But I wike wiving wif Daddy bettew."

"What's wrong with living with your grandmother?"

Nathan stared at Margaret for a long time, before letting his eyes roam across the room. His eyes immediately lit up once he saw Roger and Mimi were in the courtroom but, remembering the last time he made an outburst, stayed quiet. He thought some more until finally coming to a decision about what to say.

"It's hawd. I hafta do a wot of chowes and I hafta get up eawy and she yewws a wot."

"Who does she yell at?"

"Aunty Carla, mostwy, because Gwandma says that she's a waste of space and she nevew shoulda had hew." There was some slight gasping and muttering around the courtroom at that. Roger, however, was not surprised.

"Does she ever yell at you?" Joanne, unlike Roger, had not expected this answer and was slightly appalled at how deep Margaret's hate seemed to go. Nathan just nodded slightly, his thumb in his mouth.

"Nathan, you must speak into the mic," Judge McCoy said solemnly.

Nathan took his thumb back out and leaned forward.

"Yes."

"How often?" 

Nathan just shrugged.

"It depends on how bad I am."

"What do you get yelled at for?"

"Not getting up on time, not doing my chowes, asking to do things I'm to 'upposed to do, watching TV wifout pewmission, watching shows I'm not awowed to, asking about Mommy and Daddy, tawking too much, and not going to bed on time." The only thing he seemed to leave off was breathing. Nathan seemed to work out what exactly he had said, however, and quickly tried to amend his statement. "But, it's my fauwt, because I shouwd do what Gwandma tews me to, and I shouwdn't disobey hew."

Joanne was beginning to suspect something about Nathan's home life at Margaret's, and it really worried her.

"Nathan, do you get time-outs?"

"'Time-outs'?" he repeated, confused.

"Like, time alone, set apart from everywhere else for misbehaving."

""You mean wike cwoset time?"

Joanne stared at him for a long moment before responding.  
"'Closet time'?"

"When I'm specie bad, Gwandma tews me I hafta spend time in the cwoset to 'think about what I did'."

"How long do you usually stay in the closet for?"

Nathan shrugged again.

"I don't know. Untiw dinnew, usuawy. Unwess Gwandma fowgets. Then I hafta stay thewe aww night. I'm not awoud to weave wifout hew pewmission."

"When was the last time this happened?" Joanne felt slightly sick and wasn't sure she wanted to know the answers to some of her other questions.

"Wast night."

"Why? What did you do?"

Nathan's eyes started welling up with tears and he was holding his upper arm. He didn't seem to be conscious of what he was doing.

"Because I wanna go home," he sobbed, "And she wouldn't wet me. She said I was home, so I said I wanted to go back to Daddy's. She towd me Daddy didn't want me anymowe because he had his own bwat on the way and that whowe to deaw wif."

There was a lot of muttering at that. Just when Roger thought he couldn't hate Margaret anymore than he already did, he was proven wrong. That psycho didn't deserve to be in charge of a dog. Behind him, he heard Mimi sobbing quietly. Probably remembering her own abusive days and hating how Nathan could have to go through anything similar to that. Margaret was glaring daggers at the little boy, so it was a good thing he was crying and couldn't see her.

"So I towd hew not to tawk about Mimi wike that and that I wiked hew a wot mowe than hew and then…" he broke off suddenly, and looked over to where Margaret was sitting, as if just remembering she was there. "And then I had to go the cwoset fow being diswespectfuw." he ended emotionlessly. 

"Is that all?" Joanna had a hard time stopping herself from crying, but she managed.

"Yes."

Joanne was silent for a long time before finally asking what she wasn't sure she really wanted to know.

"Nathan… Does your grandmother ever hit you?"

Nathan just stared at her for a long moment in silence with his thumb back in his mouth.

"Nathan, it's ok if she does. You don't have to go back to her. Just tell me if she hits you." Joanne had completely dropped her professional manner now. She was talking to Nathan like he was just what he was- her best friend's son who was stuck in a terrible custody case, caused by an even more horrifying situation.

"Objection! Your honor, she is leading the witness." Oscar seemed determined to save his client at least a little bit.

"Ms. Jefferson, let the client answer on his own," the judge said.

"Sorry your honor." she turned back to Nathan and repeated her question. "Nathan, has your grandmother ever hit you?"

Nathan looked between Margaret and Roger a few times before finally answering.

"No." he said shakily. And then he burst into tears.

"No further questions, your honor," Joanne said quietly, not wanting to torment Nathan any further. The woman from the audience ran forward and snatched Nathan up taking him back to her seat, where she made furious attempts to quiet him.

Judge McCoy took a deep breath before deciding to take back charge of the courtroom.

"Ms. Jefferson, if you are now done with your witnesses…"

"Wait!" Everyone turned to the back of the courtroom at Carla, who had suddenly stood up.

"Yes, Ms. Ericsson?" Judge McCoy asked, slightly surprised.

"I would like to be presented as a witness."

"This late in the trial?"

"I have stage fright."

"All right, then. For which side are you presenting yourself for." **(A/N: Not sure if this is actually possible or not, but it makes for great dramatic effect. :p)**

"Roger Davis's." **(A/N: Snaps for datagirl3. attempts to snap fingers :p)**

You could have heard a pin drop, the room became so silent.

"Are you sure?" the judge asked, bemused.

"Yes." She walked up to the witness stand. As she walked past Joanne, she grabbed her arm.  
"What are you doing?" Joanne asked her quietly.

"Trust me. I can help you guys."

"If this is some sort of trick…"

"No trick. Just make sure you ask me a lot about my childhood and raising Nathan." She shook her arm loose and walked up to the stand, carefully averting her eyes from her mother's.  
"What else would I ask you about?" Joanne muttered to herself.

"All right, Ms. Ericsson, you were April's sister, correct?"

"Yes. I'm older than her by five years."

"Five year age difference? That must have been pretty tough."

"Not really. We were always close. You had to be when you were just seconds in the family." it was odd to see a witness leading a lawyer in what sorts of questions to ask, but Joanne was pretty intuitive and picked up quickly on what Carla wanted her to ask.  
"What do you mean by 'seconds'?"

"Nathan was the oldest, the smartest, the most polite. He was the perfect one of the family. It was painfully obvious that Mom and Dad-Mom in particular- loved him much more than they loved us. So we banded together. Mom hardly ever paid any attention to us, so I ended up sort of raising April. Especially after Nathan died." She paused. A prompt for Joanne to ask a question.

"What happened then?"

"Mom and Dad became distant with each other. Mom would snap at anyone for any reason. She just began hating everybody. Her perfect little angel was gone and there was no way to bring him back, so instead she took it out on the rest of the world. Eventually, Dad had had enough and he was gone for good. April and I were now officially on our own."

"What happened after your father left?"

"April and I just tried to fend for ourselves mostly, while avoiding the wrath of our mother. She made us do all the housework and chores, Nathan was always big on doing that. He was always super-smart and super-polite. A really shy, quiet kid who didn't have many friends and just spent all of his time at home, doing whatever Mom asked him to do." She paused for a moment before finally voicing what she had held in for years. "His death wasn't even an accident. He drove off the bridge on purpose. Couldn't take living with Mommy-dearest anymore."

"You lying bitch! You take that back!" Margaret had jumped up, her face a deep, dark red. "He would never kill himself! He wasn't like that slut of a sister of yours! He actually liked his life because he knew he was useful in it!"

"Mrs. Ericsson, please. Calm yourself down or I will have you removed from this courtroom!"

Remembering Todd's mother, she sank back into her chair, trying to calm herself as Carla continued.

"What makes you think Nathan killed himself?" Joanne asked, ignoring the interruption.

"He called me that night… Before he went off the bridge. He left this message on my voice mail, apologizing for everything he had ever done to April and me. He never really did anything to us… He was a great brother… very supportive and loving, it's just… Mom and Dad loved him significantly more than they loved April and me and he could see that and could see what it did to us…" Tears began to slide down Carla's face as she explained the last words she ever heard her brother say. "He figured if he took himself out of the picture… Maybe Mom and Dad would start to love us more. He hated what he was… _He_ didn't think he was perfect. He thought he was just something causing trouble in what have otherwise been a happy family… He also just couldn't stand everything Mom demanded of him… She just saw him as this perfect and great person and he wasn't that and he knew there was no way he could ever live up to her expectations…" She was quiet for a long while. "The last thing he said was 'I'm sorry, Carla, April. I love you guys.' And then I heard a crash and the phone went dead…"

A stunned silence followed as everyone tried to take that in.

"So, after that you raised April until she moved out?"

"Yes. And I never saw her again. Until a year later when she showed up pregnant."

"How did you react to that?"

"I was really worried. Something like this had never happened before. She wanted to just get rid of it, without a second though. Then I found out about the drugs and just how totally messed up her life was and I realized that I had totally failed her. I tried my hardest to raise her right, but… It just wasn't enough. I failed her in the end… Then she left me to take care of her child and I couldn't even do _that_ right. I finally had a second chance to fix everything… And I just made them worse."

"Why do you think you failed her?"

"The biggest reason April wanted me to take care of him was because… She didn't want Mom to raise him. She didn't want her to ruin him like she had ruined us. But… I couldn't do it. I just couldn't take care of a baby. I was back to my mother's within a month, desperate for help at raising that thing. I didn't even regard him as a person anymore. Just a nuisance. I hated him and I hated April for thinking I could raise him. Especially after she died. She promised she would come back for him. That she would get her life back together and come back for him, but she never did. She just abandoned me… In the last way she could…"

"What happened to Nathan?"

"I kept him, but I wasn't raising him. Mom was. I let the exact thing April wanted me to prevent happen."

"Why wouldn't April want her mom to raise Nathan?"

"Because she knew that Mom would take advantage of the situation to create herself a little replacement angel." Her tone was thick with bitterness and what she had said had left most confused about what she meant. Joanne included.

"What do you mean 'replacement angel'?"

"Nathan, my brother, was dead and gone. As soon as she found out that April was having a boy she saw an opportunity to raise a boy exactly like him to take his place. April didn't name Nathan, Mom did! The only reason his middle name is 'Roger' is because April fought for it. Mom wanted it to be 'David', just like my brother."

"You are crazy, you lying little bitch!" Margaret had lost it again and had begun shouting, hoping to silence Carla with her fury, like she had so many times in the past. But her words had the opposite effect and seemed to open up a floodgate.

"I thought April was crazy when she said that to you, mom, but it's true, isn't it? That's all he is to you, isn't he? Just your shot at having Nathan again!"

"He is my grandson. I love him very much and I treat him as such."

"You do not! Everyday you try to make him more and more like Nathan! You spent hours everyday making sure he could speak well and had a high vocabulary like Nathan did! Nathan was always helpful around the house, so you made him help out as well. Everything Nathan did as a child you tried to replicate! Right down to the way you spoke about him!"  
"Ms. Ericsson, calm yourself this instant!" judge McCoy cried, but she was far from finished.

"You didn't let him watch anything Nathan wouldn't like! Or eat any of the foods he did! Nathan was never sociable, so whenever he tried to make friends you would discourage it! You did your damndest to turn him into this replica of the son that you lost and tried to stop him from ever having the childhood he should have!"

"He became like that on his own! If he happens to have some of the same genes as his uncle, it's not surprising…"

"Look t him, mother!" She was standing up now, pointing across the room at Nathan, "That is not your son! That is not Nathan David! He is dead, and he's never coming back! No matter what you do! He is April's son! April's son and Roger's and he deserves to be with people who actually love him for who he is rather than some abusive freak who locks him in the closet for wanting to do something your son hated to do, like cooking, or smacking him across the face for wanting to go back to those people!"

"He doesn't know what he wants! He's only three-years-old! What's best for him is to live with me! I raised him and I'm the only one who's ever going to raise him! No matter what some stupid court says!"

"Order! If you do not settle down I will have you both held in contempt" Judge McCoy was banging his gavel as hard as he could until, finally, everything settled down into another stunned silence.

Carla now had tears pouring down her face, Margaret looked angry enough o kill, Roger could hear Mimi sobbing quietly behind him, and Nathan sat on his bench, looking confused and slightly frightened at everything that was going on.

Roger just sat there, thinking over what he had just heard. He had always suspected Margaret mistreated Nathan, but not like that. He never thought she was actually insane. Never thought she ever physically hurt him.

Roger hoped now more than ever that the judge would just come to a decision quickly ad that, hopefully, it would mean Nathan going home with him that night.

* * *

"After examining everything stated by the witnesses, and what I myself have witnessed here. I have decided to award custody to Roger Davis."

There was a tumultuous uproar as the entire courtroom exploded. Roger's side with happiness, Margaret's with fury.

"I would also like to launch on investigation into the parenting styles of Margaret Ericsson and the possibility of preventing any future attempts at her attaining custody. Court dismissed." **(A/N: Thank God!)**

Everyone stood up and prepared to leave.

"Thanks, Joanne," Roger said, hugging her, "You were a big help."

"Anytime. I'm just glad you got your boy back."  
"Sweetie, you were great!" Maureen gushed, running over to embrace her as soon as she and Roger had broken apart, "Who'd have thought that Margaret lady was such a psycho, anyway?"

"Me," Tricia said, approaching with her family. "I told you that lady was a psycho bitch."

"Yeah, but you just said it because you didn't like her," Jodie pointed out.

"Whatever."

Roger walked over to where Mimi stood and hugged her.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that," he whispered.

"It's ok. We got Nathan back, that's all that matters." All of her tears hadn't been quite wiped away, but she was radiating happiness.

"Daddy!" Roger turned to find the small boy hurtling through the courtroom at him. He practically dove at Roger and Roger picked him up, holding him tightly to him, trying to hold back his own tears.

"Daddy, can we go home now?" he asked in a small voice.

"Yeah, we can."

Mimi walked over after giving the two a moment and Nathan immediately became even happier.

"Mimi!" he cried in delight, throwing his arms around her. Roger saw Margaret glaring at him and passed Nathan off to Mimi before excusing himself and walking away to find Carla. Before he got very far, however, Margaret caught up with up.

"You are crazy if you think that this is going to last..." She was gearing up for a long rant, but Roger cut her off.

"No, you're crazy if you think you're ever going near him again. Even if you do manage to stay out of jail, which I'll make sure you don't, you are never going anywhere near him again. And if you do, trials and judges will be the least of your troubles," Roger threatened in a quiet, angry voice. He was not going to let her ruin another life, especially not his son's.

"Are you threatening me?"  
"If you want to take it that way, then sure. But you are never going near him again."

"Well, I guess we'll just have to see about that, huh?"

"Whatever you say." And he turned around and began walking away.

He spotted Carla at the back of the courtroom and walked over to her.

"Hey," he said quietly. She jumped slightly and then, after seeing who it was, smiled slightly. "I just wanted to say… Well, thanks. For everything."

"No problem."

"I really don't think we could have won this without you. I'm sure April would've been grateful too."

"It was nothing, really. This was the only thing I ever did right by her. At least I finally gave her something." She smiled slightly at Roger before turning and walking out of the courtroom.

Roger watched her go for a while before turning around and walking back to Mimi and Nathan.

* * *

_Well, there you go. It's all finally over and done with. I will have one short chapter next that wraps everything up and then I am DONE. :p Then I can get to work on my first one-shot of this series. :p_


	15. Family

_Ok, this chapter is way too short for it to have taken me so long, but I was busy. Sorry. _

_Happy Easter, btw. :)_

_Thanx to Steph, again._

_Enjoy. :)_

* * *

Mimi lay in bed, thinking. They had all spent the entire day moving everything of Nathan's- toys, clothes, furniture, etc.- into the loft and tonight would be the first night Nathan spent actually living with them. She had already kissed Nathan goodnight and then left him and Roger alone so Roger could read him a bedtime story.

Now she was free to just lay there and think. Ever since Joanne had mentioned it, she just couldn't stop thinking about adopting Nathan. She wanted to. Badly. But she wasn't sure how Roger would take it. She was slightly worried about his reaction. But, in the end, she decided she would just have to ask him or else she would never know.

"Hey," Roger said quietly and shutting the door softly behind him. It was odd, having to be quiet after a certain time now.

"He go to sleep?" Mimi asked, just as quietly, watching him change into some sweats and a t-shirt for bed.

"Yeah. He fell asleep about half-way through the book." He slid into bed next to her and she immediately curled up against his side, resting her head on his chest.

"Well, that's a first. He usually stays awake through the whole story."

"I guess he's finally heard it enough times," Roger laughed.

They just lay there in silence for a while as Mimi thought over what she was going to say, and whether she should say it.

"Hey, Roger… I want to ask you something," she began cautiously. She still wasn't entirely sure if it was right of her to ask. Or what is reaction would be.

"What is it?"

"Ok… Um… A little bit ago I was talking with Joanne about Nathan and what would happen, after we took him in, if you died. She said that, most likely, I would get custody of Nathan over anybody else, but it would be more likely to happen if, when we got married, I adopted him." There was a short silence before Mimi decided to explain herself better. "I mean, I know the odds of me not getting him are pretty bad, since it doesn't seem like there will be any trouble with anyone else now, but… I still want to adopt him. I love him so much, Roger. He's already like my own son to me and I would just really love to make that official. I'm not trying to replace April or anything, I know I could never do that, but I just really, really want to be his mother."

There was more silence as Roger thought over what she said.

"I… think that's a great idea."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Mimi, you're already pretty much the closest thing to a real mom he's had so far and he absolutely adores you. It would be great. And I really think it would help us all be a family together. But, I do think we should ask him what he thinks before we make anything official."

"Ok." Mimi snuggled closer to Roger, a huge smile and her face and Roger gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. She was so beautiful she was happy.

"Daddy?" a small voice asked. Roger and Mimi both turned to see their door open slowly. They could see a small shadow standing in the doorway, holding what appeared to be a stuffed penguin.

"Nathan, what's wrong?" Roger asked, lifting himself up slightly so he could see the child better.

"I had a nightmawe… Can I sweep wif you and Mimi?"

"Sure."

The small shaft of light disappeared as Nathan shut the door and walked over to the bed. Roger sat up and grabbed the boy, lifting him up and onto the bed. Nathan snuggled under the covers between Roger and Mimi and cuddled his penguin closer to himself.

"What did you have a nightmare about, Nathan?" Mimi asked, smoothing his hair back from his forehead.

"Nofing," he said quietly, playing with his penguin's wing.

He was quiet for a long time while Roger and Mimi just watched him, waiting for him to fall asleep. "Daddy, do I hafta go back to grandma's?" he asked, finally. So _that_ was what he was so worried about.

"No," Roger reached out a hand to rub Nathan's back comfortingly, "You don't ever have to go back there again. I promise."

"Ok," Nathan sounded happier after that.

"Hey, Nathan," Roger said, after some thought, "What would you say, when Mimi and I get married, to Mimi adopting you?"

"What's 'adopting'?"

"That's when she takes on parental responsibilities for you. I'd still be there, but Mimi would be there too. As a parent."

Nathan lay there for a few seconds, thinking over what Roger had said. Then he turned to Mimi.

"Wouwd you be my mommy then?"

Mimi looked over at Roger, not sure what to say. He nodded, smiling slightly and she smiled back.

"Yeah. Pretty much."

"Oh, boy!" he exclaimed, a huge smile on his face. Roger and Mimi couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm glad you approve of the idea," Mimi said. She had been worried about Nathan's reaction as much as Roger's.

"Yeah, but now you've got to go to bed. Mimi and I are both working tomorrow, so we have to get you to day care," Roger said.

"Ok, good night," he quickly hugged Roger and then Mimi, before snuggling back under the covers and falling asleep.

Shortly after Mimi fell asleep and it was just Roger awake. He just lay there for a while, watching the two of them sleep. His family. He had never really had much of one growing up. His parents were hardly ever around, when they were he was fighting with them. It was mostly just Rebecca and Marie. But now was different. Now he had a family of his own. And he couldn't have asked for a better one.

* * *

_And that's the end. This story is now finished. Wow, I have officially finished two chapter stories. I feel so... accomplished. this is a good feeling a like it... :p Next, I'll be posting a one-shot that'll just be a little cutesy fic dealing with Roger as a parent. It's going to be a little long, though, so it might take a while. _


	16. So, funny story

_So, I know you all are probably wondering (If anyone's looking at this, anyway) "What on Earth? An update on 'Sweet Child o' Mine'? She finished that a year ago!" Yes, I did. But, I was bored and procrastinating writing "Parental Nightmare" (Sorry!) and I noticed something. Chapter five (Coming Home) is incomplete. It cut off half-way through April and Carla's conversation. _

_It stops at April saying "I know, I just..." That wasn't the end. There was about half a page more. :p And it was kind of important. Not majorly, but it showed the relationship between Carla and April a little bit and April's dilemma with the baby. I'm really sorry about this, but I fixed it now. So if you care to know what else was said, you may go read that now. :p _

_I'm just wondering what on Earth happened there, since it makes no sense to me, is too abrupt of an ending, and no one commented on it saying so... :p Although, I had to edit this chapter after I uploaded it the first time (I had messed up April's mother's age) and, so, I may have just messed up when I edited it and re-uploaded it. That's my theory. :p So, if some of you remember reading that, then that's what happened. :p  
_


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